Still Jaded (Jaded #2)

"It's okay, you know. I get it. I do. I—" He expelled a deep breath.

Why was this so hard? All the emotions twisted together inside of me, into a massive ball of nerves. "I don't know what to say or how to feel or what to think or what to do. I don't know anything right now. Nothing makes sense. I just know that Bryce is taking me home and I don't know what that means. And you're in the hospital; you're hurting so much. That sends me on another whirlwind where I'm confused about everything again."

He nodded, silent.

I kept going. "I know what you and Bryce did. I heard you guys, but I'm not going to get mad that you guys played with my emotions. Carolina told me that it's not about me anymore. It's about who was hurt worse, and I only thought about you so I think that means you were hurt the worst although—" Deep breath. "I don't know what that means either."

Corrigan looked down at his hands. He held the television remote in one hand and the sheet in the other. He was half sitting towards me, but a part of him was angled away. I looked at him and wondered if half of his heart was with me and the other half was protected from me. Then I remembered Bryce, and I wondered where his was, where mine was?

I whispered, "I'm a mess, Corrigan."

He smiled, but his eyes were sad. "I am too. I wasn't, but I am now."

"What does that mean?"

He looked up and shook his head. I knew that he was trying to tell me that he didn't know, but he did. He always did.

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

Bryce drove me home that night. At first, I felt horrible that we were going to my place while Corrigan was alone. Then I remembered that he'd gone behind my back with Bryce—that's when I started getting angry again. How dare they play with my emotions. How dare they manipulate me and make me feel like a fool! It wasn't just about them. I was involved. I'd be losing someone. I could lose both of them.

When I kept looking at Bryce, my anger went to him. How dare he?! He was a part of it. He'd always known. What else was a lie? Who else lied?! And as soon as the door shut behind us, I was ready for whatever was coming at me that night. I wanted it all out. I was sick and tired of being in the dark, and I didn't care what I'd have to do to get it out. It was my right to know.

So I took a breath, closed my eyes, counted to five, and then dropped my purse. "Okay. Are you going to explain the whore that you shacked up with or are you going to pretend that I didn't overhear any of that?!"

Bryce froze and then studied me. His eyes were lidded, but his jaw didn't move.

"Really? Nothing? Really?"

"What do you expect? Give me a second to group my thoughts together." His eyes narrowed, and that's when I knew he was lying. He knew I heard everything. He knew I'd be pissed. He certainly knew I'd be ready to lay everything on the table.

He was stalling.

I didn't care. He wasn't stalling on my watch.

"Tell me the truth!" I shouted even though I know I shouldn't. This was Bryce. He didn't cower or tremble underneath anger like that. He met it and raised it a notch. In the past he would've had me against the wall by now, but this was a new stage for us and neither of us knew the rules. Screw the rules. "Were you in love with me when you f**ked her? I never f**ked Corrigan—"

"What you and Corrigan did was worse. He told me what happened. You kissed him and you felt something for him. He told me!" Bryce shouted back, chest heaving.

We hadn't made it two seconds inside my house, and we were both heated. The night was not going to end well. I threw my head back. "I never screwed him!"

"You kissed, and you had feelings. You felt him, Sheldon. You stopped because of that. If you hadn't had any feelings, you would've screwed him. We're not that couple. We never were. You wanted me to screw other girls in high school. Remember? You screwed Denton. And you did it because you didn't give one shit about him. But Corrigan—you kiss him and turn away? Isn't that what happened?"

My mouth snapped shut. I wasn't sure what to say, but I was livid. The ass**le made me furious.

Bryce's eyes were ugly as he ground out, "You felt something for him and this is you. You're emotionally handicapped. You're blunted in the head when it comes to emotions."

"I am not!" I might be...

Bryce opened his mouth, but shut it again. Then he repeated the motion along with some more chest heaving. After a moment, after he had clenched and unclenched his hands repeatedly, he managed out, "Okay. That was below the belt, not untrue, but below the belt."