Still Jaded (Jaded #2)

A smile formed on his face and a chuckle escaped him. His shoulders relaxed slightly as he sighed. "You're not the problem. Don't ever apologize for that. I'm just—Bryce should be here too. I know things haven't been good with any of us for a long time, but I don't know. A part of me feels good that you and Bryce have broken up. I know it doesn't make sense, but I feel like everything's out in the clear. You guys aren't hiding what was going on and now we can all move forward. You two can fix whatever is the problem and get right with each other whenever, but he should be here. No matter if he's with that other girl—he should still be here. He's the other part of us…"

I swallowed tightly and looked down. Everything Corrigan said felt like a punch to my stomach. "I…" I didn't know what to say. I couldn't say anything. Bryce was gone… A part of me didn't feel like he was. A part of me didn't want to accept that, but I couldn't change it. It felt like cancer growing in the pit of my stomach. It was deadly and something I couldn't stop it.

Then Corrigan pushed a drink in front of me. "Drink it. Let's both get drunk. Screw classes tomorrow."

"Nothing good has happened the last few times we've drank together," I choked out. My throat felt so tight. I reached for the glass, but my hand trembled. When I let go of the glass, I looked up and met Corrigan's gaze. They were a clear green, but looked clouded now. I felt something in the air, something thick, but I didn't dare say anything. Something was weighing me down and I couldn't break its spell.

Then Corrigan asked, "When are you going to talk to him?"

I looked away. It was a question that I hadn't wanted to answer myself. It'd been nagging me, constantly in the back of my mind. I shrugged. "I don't know. I—I don't even know what I'm going to say."

"Because you don't want to hear the answers?"

I shook my head and Corrigan thumbed a tear away. My voice was raw. "I can't talk about this, Corrigan. I'm sorry. I—I can't talk about it."

"Okay." He nodded and then pulled me into his arms. A deep sigh wracked his body, and he tucked his chin into the crook of my shoulder. "We've gotten through worse."

Most times I'd push someone away, but I held onto Corrigan. I felt him kiss my forehead before he tightened his hold around me. No matter what had happened, it felt right to be on good terms with him again. All the strangeness between us before was gone right now. It didn't matter. What mattered was getting through the next few hours, next few days, and then I'd tackle the months after that.

"Fuck it. Let's get some breakfast. You hungry?" Corrigan pulled away. He took a breath to steady himself.

"Uh, yeah. Let me shower first. You're okay to drive?"

"Yeah. It'd take a bottle for me to feel something right now." He turned away as I got off the stool. My legs trembled too, but I willed myself not to fall down. Nothing was going to make me fall. Before I walked out of the kitchen, I looked back. Corrigan had turned his back to me, looking out one of the windows. His hands were braced on the counter and his shoulders were tense. I stopped and considered him for a second.

I'd known Corrigan all my life, before Bryce. There was a lot underneath the flashy image so many were dazzled by, but I didn't think anyone really knew what made Corrigan tick. Even I didn't. I wondered if Bryce did, but that was a mute point now. Bryce was gone. He was gone. He… I felt tears again and clamped them down.

"Go and shower, Sheldon." Corrigan had turned around.

I nodded and left. I pushed it all down and focused on the now. That meant showering, dressing, and grabbing some money for food. When I went downstairs, Corrigan had showered too. He was dressed in crisp jeans and a blue hoodie. His eyes looked tired, but I was surprised to see that he'd put some gel in his curls. That's when I asked, "When'd you cut your hair? What happened to those luscious locks of love?"

Corrigan grinned, holding open the door for me. "I cut 'em awhile ago. No more curls."

"Momma Corrigan must've been heartbroken."

He grinned and got into his car. "I know." Corrigan rested a hand on my seat as he turned and reversed the car. When we pulled out of the gate, he asked, "Where do you want to eat?"

"Sparky's."

"What?! No. I hate that place."

"Oh come on. We can find out if Dorothy is working. Maybe she'll try to kill me there and then we won't have to worry about who's my stalker. We'll know it's her."

"Your sense of humor sucks sometimes," he growled, but turned the car around.

I grinned. I knew I had a morbid sense of something, but the real reason I wanted to go there is because I wanted to see how she reacted to Corrigan. I'd been there with Bryce last time and the girl was nearly buckled from knocking knees. Corrigan was a different matter. Her cousin had almost stabbed him to death. Plus, he was a big deal on campus and I knew Dorothy had some history with the sorority chicks on campus. I wanted to gauge her reaction to him. Seeing him at a party was one thing, but having him at her family-owned restaurant was another matter. If I couldn't handle dealing with Bryce, then I could handle dealing with my stalker.