I did reply to the Happy Birthday texts and liked all the well wishes on Facebook, but I haven’t been chatting with anyone much since I’ve been home.
But when I was getting ready for dinner, Cush texted me. He said he was excited to see me and excited for the party. I’m starting to get a bit nervous about seeing him.
Things with Brooklyn have seemed sort of weird lately. I can’t put my finger on it, but I feel like I’m losing him. I don’t know if it’s because I’m hurt he’s not coming to my party, or if he’s actually been a little distant. Even when I was with him earlier today, it was like he said the right things but it sorta felt like he didn’t mean them.
I decide to reply to Vanessa’s last text with a lie.
Me: Hey, sorry. I lost my phone.
Vanessa: I thought you were ignoring me. I was thinking about not coming to your party.
Brooklyn grabs my phone. “No texting at dinner.”
“It’s after dinner, and she’s pissed at me because I’ve totally been ignoring everyone these last couple of days.”
“You haven’t been ignoring me.”
“That’s true, but I have ignored her and RiAnne’s texts, and she’s giving me shit about it.”
“They’re just jealous, you know.”
“Jealous of what?”
“Of us. What we have is real. Everything those girls cherish is fake. They only care about appearances, not what’s real. Fake relationships. Fake feelings. They fake their way through life. If it weren’t for me, you might have become one of them.”
“I am one of them, whether I want to be or not. At least until I get out of school. And Vanessa’s been surprisingly nice recently.”
He looks at my phone. “She wasn’t going to come to your party because you haven’t texted her in two days. How is that a good friend?”
“I’ve had sex with you all summer, and you’re not coming to my party. What does that make you?” I snap back.
“Don’t turn this on me.”
“I just don’t think it’s fair of you to slam her for something she has no intention of doing. She’s threatening to not come because she’s mad that I’ve been ignoring her. She’ll be there. She flew to New York to buy a dress, and she has a hot date that she’s dying to show off. I’m going to my own party dateless.”
“So take a date. Ask one of your boy toys.”
I stare at him for a few beats. He doesn’t back down.
“Fine. I will.” I grab my phone out of his hand, scroll past Cush and straight to Sander. Brooklyn hates him. “You sure you don’t want to be my date?”
“Yeah, I’m sure.”
“Okay.” I hit Sander’s name, and my phone sends out the call.
Brooklyn says, “He’s an asshole.”
“Well, I thought about asking Cush, but since I slept with him, I thought that might be awkward.”
I know I’m being mean, but I’m hurt. I’m lashing out a little.
Brooklyn’s face turns to pissed just as Sander answers.
“How’s my favorite T-Bird?” I flirt.
Brooklyn wants to see the fake me, so be it.
“Great. Heard you’re having a big birthday bash tomorrow night,” Sander says. “Where’s my invite?”
“I figured you were busy filming. Any chance you could come, maybe be my date?”
“Thought you were into the surfer dude?”
I catch the surfer dude’s eye. “Yeah, I thought the surfer dude was into me too, but I was wrong.”
Brooklyn gets up and walks out the door. I swallow hard and try not to cry.
“Sweet. You gonna do a big entrance? Walk the red carpet or some shit?”
“Hell yeah, I plan on making an entrance. It is my birthday. What do you say? Wanna come on the party bus with us?”
“I say you’re fucking awesome.”
“Good. My house. 8:30.”
I text RiAnne. I really don’t want to go with Sander. Regardless of what Vanessa says, I’d rather go dateless. I don’t know how Brooklyn pushed me into that. I guess I wanted to prove something. I just don’t know what I was trying to prove. Sander won’t care who his date is.
Me: Did you find a date for the party?
Ri: No :(
Me: I have a date for you.
Ri: Who??!!!
Me: Sander. I’d say he trumps a no-name lacrosse player. Even one that got buff over the summer. But don’t tell. Make it a surprise.
Ri: I thought we weren’t allowed to date each other’s exes?
Me: I’m okay with it. Really.
Ri: Vanessa will be pissed, but OMFG!! I LOVE YOU!! He’s so hot. I’ll be at your house at 8:30, looking AH-MAZZZING!! You liked my dress, right?
Me: Your dress is more than ah-mazing.
Ri: Sander will totally be my love slave by the end of the night. I’m sure of it.
How to play the game.
11:45pm
After dinner, I decide to walk the beach. I think I jinxed myself when I said that my life was perfect.
I don’t understand Brooklyn. Why can’t he go just because he loves me? If he really loved me, wouldn’t he go?