He takes me to a very nice restaurant on the water—one of my absolute favorites, and the kind of expensive place that he usually avoids.
Ohmigawd! Could this be it? Is he finally going to ask me to be his girlfriend!?
I’m so excited that I barely eat my blackened salmon, asparagus, and baby new potatoes.
I imagine what he’s going to say to me. Imagine him giving me a ring or a lock of his hair or something personal and dreamy.
After dessert, he starts to look nervous.
Oh my gosh! Here we go!!
“So this summer was amazing, Keats. It was such an incredible experience.”
I grab his hand across the table and squeeze it. “I know. It was for me too. I’ll never forget it.”
“So, I’ve been thinking about doing this for a while now . . . ”
OMG! I want to scream with joy!
“So, I’m finally going to do it. I’m going on the pro tour.”
Wait. What? He’s not asking me out?
“You’re going where?”
He gets a huge happy grin on his face. “A couple weeks ago, I told my dad how much I enjoyed our time at all the different surf spots. What an amazing experience it was. All the cool people we met. I’ve committed to doing the tour for a year. If, at the end of the year, I’m ranked top ten or so, then I’ll think about continuing. If not, I’ll come back home and figure out my next move. Dad says I’ll only be young once, so I should take the opportunity. That it’s a once-in-a-lifetime experience.”
“You’ll be gone for a year?” I ask incredulously. Because he’s not asking me to go out with him. He’s leaving me.
He goes on and one about the waves he surfed and how they varied, but I’m not really listening.
All I keep thinking is He’s leaving me for a year.
“You’re the reason I’m doing all this, you know?”
I shake my head and squint my eyes. I really have no clue what the hell he’s talking about it.
“You’re the one that talked me into taking the summer off and touring some of the world’s great surf spots. You’re the one who told me I should follow my dreams wherever they take me. ”
“I said that?”
When the hell did I say it?
And had I been drinking? Was I high?
He rubs his finger across the top of my hand. “Of course you said it. Because you’re amazing. And Dad took the ball and ran with it. He’s already got sponsors lined up for me. So, I’m actually going to do it. Live my dream. Can you believe it?”
“No, not really,” I say flatly.
“You don’t seem very excited.”
I try to brighten my face. I don’t think I succeed. “I’m thrilled for you, B. Really. When do you leave?”
“It’s kinda still up in the air. We’ll talk about it after your birthday. I have some fun stuff planned for your birthday.”
This excites me. “You do? Really?” He’s not really the planning type.
“Yep. Thursday, you’re mine. You said your family thing is Friday night, right?”
“Yeah, dinner will be fun. And Saturday night, we’ll have a blast. We’ll be dancing. Partying. I can’t wait!”
“Um, would you be mad if I didn’t go Saturday?”
I can barely breathe. Is he serious? “You don’t want to come to my party?”
“I’d think that after London you’d know the answer to that. Besides, we’ll have done tons of celebrating by then.”
“Uh, okay.” I don’t even know what to say to that. “You’ll come to the after-party at my house, though, right? I invited all the surfers. I thought it would be so cool for my school friends to meet your friends.” He looks at me like I’m certifiably insane. “You don’t think they’ll get along?”
“Oh they’ll get along. Like oil and water.”
“I guess I’m more optimistic than you are.”
He pays our tab, and we walk out to the car.
I start to get tears in my eyes and choke out the words I’ve been wondering. “Are you breaking up with me?”
He laughs. “I didn’t realize we were going out.”
My face drops and the tears start falling. I turn away from him.
He grabs my shoulders and turns me back around.
“I haven’t thought through all the details yet.”
“That’s worse. I wasn’t even a consideration.”
“Keats, sometimes in life you have to do what’s right for you and hope that your friends will support you. This is right for me. And don’t cry. It all came about very suddenly. And you start school soon. You’ll be so busy with all the things you want to do, you’ll barely have time to miss me. We’ll figure something out. We’ll be fine, Keats.” He hangs his head and says quietly. “I thought you’d be so excited for me. I got all dressed up and even splurged on your favorite expensive restaurant.”
I look up at him. I don’t even care that I probably look frightening with mascara dripping down my face. “I thought you were going to ask me to go out with you; instead you tell me you’re leaving me for a year. I am excited for you. I really am. I’m just not very excited for me.”