“What’s wrong?”
“Cush got drugged at a party. I stopped to say goodbye. I’m scared, James.”
“Are you taking him to the hospital?”
“I don’t know what to do.”
“Is he responsive?”
“What do you mean?”
“When you talk to him, does he respond?”
“Kinda, I got him to drink some water and walk out to the limo.”
“Okay, do you know what he took?”
“He didn’t take anything. Someone put valium in his beer. So he probably had two beers and three or four valium.”
“Bring him here. I’ll have our doctor come to the house to check him out.”
I sigh with relief. “Thank you. I didn’t know what to do.”
“You’re doing the right thing, honey. It’ll be okay.”
I hang up the phone and start crying. Today I was supposed to get away from it all. Instead, my boyfriend’s messed up, he cheated on me, and I’m pretty sure I just made a deal with the devil.
Cush leans his head on my shoulder.
I grab his hand and rub it. “It’ll be okay, Cush. You’re gonna be okay, and we’re gonna make her pay.”
Sunday, June 5th
My life is a mess.
Noon
I stayed up all night to keep an eye on Cush.
To make sure he kept breathing.
To make sure he didn’t throw up in his sleep, suffocate, and die.
I was a nervous wreck. The doctor said he’d be okay but to keep a close eye on him.
Mostly I just sat next to him and cried.
I really don’t know how I got from I want to be popular to here.
My life is a mess.
And it’s all my fault.
I’ve been rocking the boat. Messing with Vanessa. Pretending my life is perfect when it’s not. And pretending that I’m over Brooklyn.
Which is not fair to Cush.
I can’t wait to go to France.
I need to get over Brooklyn, mourn our relationship, so I can come back and be happy with Cush. He’s adorable. Sweet. And he loves me.
I know last night wasn’t his fault.
Just like it’s not his fault that I jumped into bed with him before I should have.
I don’t regret it though.
He was everything he should have been. He did everything perfect.
It was me.
I should have waited until I was sure of my feelings.
He’ll probably be mad that I’m friends with Vanessa again, but I really didn’t have a choice. I did it to protect him. I don’t want anything like this to ever happen to him because of me. Mandy didn’t really want Cush. She just wanted to be at the top of the pedestal. Vanessa was right. Someone is always going to want what we have.
We called Cush’s dad last night and told him what happened. He immediately called Cush’s mom, yelled at her, and told her what a bad parent she is.
Like it was her fault.
She called me from Paris, thanked me for taking care of him, and asked me what really happened. Cush’s dad had over exaggerated and made it sound like Cush was into drugs. His mom was freaking out. I assured her that neither of us ever did that stuff. Cush doesn’t even smoke pot. She knew he’d been having parties, so that wasn’t really a surprise to her. She was shocked though that a girl would do that to her son. She started yelling at me a little. Asking me what kind of people we hung out with.
Even though I told her over and over it wasn’t his fault, they decided to punish Cush. He’s grounded from everything and has to spend the entire summer at his dad’s house in Oregon.
She left me the task of breaking the news to Cush.
Around noon, Cush finally wakes up.
“Why am I here? Why aren’t you in France?” He grins at me. “Couldn’t stand to leave me for that long, could ya?”
“Um, not exactly.”
He tries to sit up.
“What happened last night? I feel kinda hungover. And why am I at your house?”
“You remember last night at all?”
He frowns and squints his eyes, like he’s trying to remember. Then he rubs his hand across his forehead. “Soccer party, right?”
I nod.
“It was really low key even though Vanessa showed up with Alex.”
“What else?”
“Let’s see. I had a couple beers. I was talking to Terrance. Mandy and Alicia sat down with us. We were talking about you.”
My blood starts to boil at the mere mention of Mandy’s name. “What were they saying?”
Cush looks down at my comforter, and his cheeks turn a little red. “Mandy basically said that she didn’t think I could go three weeks. That I’d cheat on you while you were gone. They were sort of taking bets on whether or not I could.”
“Let me guess. Mandy thought you’d cheat on me that night? At the soccer party?”
“Yeah, that was her bet.”
“Do you remember anything after that? Do you remember seeing me there? Like in your room?”
He smiles and lazily runs his hand down my arm. “Of course I remember. I was so happy to see you. I told you I loved you.”
“That’s all you remember?”