“I am, but this is a good lesson for you. I’ve been very careful about my image. Although sex sells, the love scenes I’ve done in the past have been very clean. Practically chaste. But for this film, I felt the sex scenes were necessary for me to immerse myself in the role. Now that it’s over, and I’ve gotten to see how they’ve put the dailies together, I know I made the right decision. The scenes make the film more powerful.”
“Oh gosh. Am I going to be embarrassed by them? Are my friends going to see you naked?!”
“Not completely naked. But the scenes are very graphic, pretty erotic. Although they couldn’t show everything and keep the R rating, it’s still pretty obvious what’s going on. I don’t know what will end up in the final cut, but what I saw showed my boobs.” She stops and laughs. “Well, they were stunt boobs, and then pretty much everything except the actual vajayjay.”
“Ohmigawd, Mom, I am not four. You can say vagina. Hell, someone already taught Gracie that word.”
Tommy laughs and raises his hand. “That was me. She walked in as I was getting out of the shower, and we had to have the whole boy- and girl-parts talk. I’m sorry, but I couldn’t bring myself to call it a vajayjay. Plus, I read in some parenting magazine that it’s best to tell them the proper names.”
“You’ve read a parenting magazine?” I ask.
“There was one left on your mom’s set. I was bored. Flipped through it.”
“Back to the subject at hand,” Mom says. “You may be a little embarrassed by them, Keatyn. Like I said, they’re pretty graphic. There’s even a shot of a penis nearing the backside. Although, once again, it was a stunt penis and a stunt backside; but it doesn’t look that way.”
I cringe. “Oh. God. You better win an award for this is all I’ve got to say.”
“If you decide to act someday, you’ll have to make decisions like this. Tommy says he’ll support me and the kids if everyone hates it.”
“Everyone will love it,” Tommy says.
Mom laughs. “Even that fan of mine has been encouraging.”
“What’d the creeper say this time?” I ask.
“Nothing really. Just that he’d heard I was probably going to win awards for the role. Wished me good luck.”
“I guess that’s kinda sweet,” I say. “So you’re sure it won’t hurt your image?”
Tommy puts his hand on his chest and pretends to be serious. “Honestly, I’m a little worried it might hurt my image.”
Mom and I laugh. Tommy used to be the man in Hollywood who always had a different girl on his arm.
Tommy says, “So how’s your life going, baby? Heard the Lambo rumbling in at four this morning.”
“I had to drive, because Sander got drunk. Again. I’m thinking about breaking up with him, honestly.”
“Really?” Mom says with surprise. “You’ve been together for so long, and you’re just the cutest couple.”
“I know. I mean, I can’t do it now. Prom is next week. I have my dress. We have plans. But after prom, I think I might. So, hey, good talk. I’m gonna change, go to the dance studio, then run over to Cush’s for a while.”
Mom looks at me with a shrewd eye. “Is there something between you and Brandon? You go over there a lot without Sander.”
“That’s because Sander thinks he’s too good to have to clean up, and I don’t think Cush should have to do it himself. Besides, Cush is a player; not really my type.”
“It’s very sweet of you to help him, honey, but I gotta say, players can be fun.” She gives Tommy her sexy smile and kisses his neck.
“I know all about your love affair and don’t need to see any PDA, thank you very much.” I roll my eyes again as Tommy pulls Mom onto his lap.
I shouldn’t roll my eyes, though. I totally wish someone wanted to play me.
Like maybe my boyfriend?
I start to walk out of the kitchen, but I stop. “So I don’t get it, Mom. You always warned me about players. About how all they want is to get in your pants. About how I should wait until I’m in love. So what do you do when a guy loves you, but he doesn’t want in your pants?”
“What do you mean?” Tommy asks. He looks very confused. “That makes no sense. All guys want in girls’ pants.”
“Not Sander. He wants to wait until he’s married.”
Tommy scrunches up his nose like he just smelled something bad, but Mom clutches her chest and says, “Oh, that’s so sweet. He’s such a sweet boy.”
“Mom, you had sex in high school.”
“Yes, but I told you that as a cautionary tale. A don’t-get-drunk-and-do-it-in-the-backseat-with-some-jerk tale. A don’t-follow-in-my-footsteps tale. Besides, you’re sixteen. You’re so young.”
“You were fifteen, Mom!”
“I was seventeen,” Tommy grins.
“Really? You?” Tommy had the reputation of being quite the ladies’ man. The year before he met my mom, he was named The Sexiest Man Alive. The article adamantly stated that no woman would ever tie him down. Obviously, they were wrong. Now he’s got Mom, me, and four daughters under the age of five.
Tommy shrugs. “I didn’t always look this good.” He flexes a bicep for us.
Mom giggles and kisses his arm.
I decide to leave before I have to see any more PDA.
I’ll lick you all over.
1:30pm