“She wears tennis shoes to school,” RiAnne says, like it’s a crime.
“And her grandfather owns a chain of hotels. She always had the funnest pool parties when we were kids,” Cush counters.
“Really? How did that get past me?” Vanessa looks perplexed. “Good catch, Cush.”
Cush and I share a glance. I can’t be part of this. Choosing friends this way. It just isn’t right.
“Um, I have to go to class early,” I announce.
Cush gathers up his tray. “Yeah, me too.”
Vanessa says, “So you took my advice and lost it to Cush? Is that why he’s chasing your tail all over school?”
I suck in a breath of air. Shut my mouth and walk out.
Cush follows me. “What the fuck?”
My eyes tear up. I can’t look at him. I don’t stop at my locker. I walk straight out the back door and run down to the soccer fields. I stomp up the bleachers, sit down, and then put my face in my hands and cry.
I don’t even know what to do. Part of me wants to tell Vanessa that it’s true. That Cush and I had sex. Then she’d have nothing to hold over me. But the last thing I want is another fake boyfriend.
I can’t believe I’m letting Vanessa’s stupid remark get to me. I should be proud that I want it to be special.
“I’m confused,” Cush says as he sits down next to me. “What did Vanessa mean by lost it to Cush? What did you lose?”
I let out a big sigh and decide to tell him the truth.
“You were right about Sander not doing it for me. The reason my hair was never a mess, the reason I always looked perfect was because we never had sex. Sander said he wanted to wait until he got married, but it wasn’t just that. We didn’t really do anything. Like, we kissed. That’s pretty much it. I was frustrated about it one day and stupidly told her. That’s what she’s been holding over my head. She threatened to tell everyone that our relationship was a sham and, even worse, that I’m still a virgin.”
Cush shakes his head back and forth, trying to come to terms with my confession.
“But Sander. He acted like you guys did it all the time. He was always all over you. Rubbing your back. Kissing you.”
“I know.”
“I never had sex with Vanessa,” he admits.
“You didn’t? She told me you did. Said it was amazing.”
“Yeah, that’s the lie. I, um, well, I couldn’t perform that night. It was one of the few times I got really, really drunk. She got pissed and told me I better never tell anyone.”
“You couldn’t get it up for her? Ohmigawd. That’s so awesome!”
“I didn’t with RiAnne either. She passed out. So last year before I started sitting at your table, you guys make a card like that for me? What’d it say? Mom never home. Throws a good party?”
“I don’t know. We started sitting there when Sander and I started dating, but I’ve always suspected she only became friends with me because of my mom.”
“Abby Johnston’s daughter. Yeah, that is impressive. Your mom’s . . .”
“Don’t you dare say it.”
“Say what?”
“That my mom’s hot.”
He laughs. “I was gonna say talented.”
“Oh. I’m sorry. Shit. This is a mess.”
“Wanna know something?”
“Probably not,” I say with a laugh.
“I think it’s cool that you’re a virgin. So speaking of big secrets, you do realize tomorrow is Thursday night. You better be taking me dancing.”
I give him a hug. “You wanna chill Friday too? I know you need to get home early, but maybe we can figure out what we’re gonna do next year.”
“Yeah, that sounds good,” he says and hugs me tightly back.
You definitely have the face.
5pm
I pretended to be sick, so Coach let me leave soccer practice early. I tore home, showered, fixed my hair, and did my makeup. Then I stood in my closet and tried on about 37 different outfits.
I can’t decide how I want to look. I don’t want to look so young that he thinks I’m too young. I don’t want to look like I’m trying to look older to impress him. I don’t want to be too dressed up, since we’ll be out on the deck overlooking the ocean. But I also don’t want to look too casual.
I don’t know why I’m so nervous. I guess it’s the whole movie thing. Although I’ve never admitted it to anyone, I do think I want to act, so I want to make a good impression on Vincent. I want him to see me as old enough for the job, but young enough to have that innocent look that my mom had.
I decide to wear my hair down and straight, but at the last minute, I pull my bangs back into a barrette. It’s windy on the deck, and I don’t want my hair flying all in my face while I’m trying to eat. I also decide on an outfit. I’m wearing a sheer, cream lace embroidered dress. It looks sweet and innocent, but the top is very sheer and kinda sexy. I pair it with some cute brown wedges, ivory chandelier earrings, and cream Gucci sunglasses that have tortoiseshell accents.