“I wanted you to... I wanted you to kiss me.”
He didn’t answer, but I knew he wanted it too. I could see it in the way his eyes ran over my face, in the way he leaned toward me, in the way his mouth hovered partly open.
But I could also see his sincere regret.
He slapped his cap on and drew it low over his face. “I made a mistake.”
My heart sank into my belly, and the hollowness erupted in my chest. “A mistake?” The words echoed strangely in my ears.
“Yes.” He avoided meeting my gaze.
I lowered my chin. His words hurt. For all that, I knew it was wrong, I never thought he would call it a mistake.
But I didn’t want sadness or regret. I’d had enough of those emotions, and they only made me feel weak, helpless. So I let anger come.
I narrowed my eyes into a harsh glare. “You’re the first man I’ve ever kissed, and you’ve decided I’m a mistake—a misfit.”
“Now hold your horses.” He straightened, and his eyes locked on mine. “It’s not like that.”
“No? Then what is it like?”
He opened his mouth, but I shot my left hand up and cut him off. I didn’t want excuses or explanations.
“Actually, Daniel, I don’t care. Now is hardly the time for such trivial”—I wrinkled my nose—“such trivial things. I have to go. I have work to do.”
His jaw clenched and his nostrils flared. “And if you think I’ll let you waltz off to find Elijah, then you’re mad. I’m sorry, but he’s not your brother anymore, Empress. He’s a lunatic, and there’s nothing you can do now.”
I scoffed derisively. “I don’t want to meet him for tea! I’m doing what I should have done in the first place.”
“You can’t stop him.” He thrust his face into mine. “Not like this. Not alone. Think, Empress, think!”
“No!” I shouted, a wave of rage and terror rolling down my body. “No! I can’t think. If I think, I’ll lose everything. I won’t be able to stop thinking. Of Clarence, of Elijah, of you, of the walls that surround me everywhere. I can’t!”
Daniel’s face relaxed, and his eyes held pity. I hated it.
“Empress. You know you’re not the only person hurt here. Joseph, Jie, and me? We’re all neck deep in this cesspool too.”
“But I’m the only one to blame.”
“No! The necromancer is to blame—not you.” He wet his lips. “You’re... well, you’re as good and innocent as they come.”
“Enough, Daniel. Just shut pan.” I marched away from him. I pulsed with rejection and fear and a burn to do what needed to be done. I had a real, desperate goal to achieve, and I was furious with myself for forgetting. Furious that Daniel had called me a mistake. Furious that Mama cared nothing for my injuries or Clarence’s death. Furious that my brother was a monster I could not save.
But I was also strong—stronger than Daniel or Mama or Elijah gave me credit for.
I stalked down the street, my energy high and focus clear. Daniel jogged up beside me.
“Fine,” he said. “I can’t stop you, and I won’t try. But no matter what you say, I’m going with you—to help. We do it together, and we do it as a team.”
Joseph and Jie were near Laurel Hill, so Daniel and I left the hired carriage a mile from the cemetery—no driver would go any closer—and walked the rest of the way. We trekked up Ridge Avenue and then into the woods north of Laurel Hill. Daniel’s glowworms offered a dim light to see by, and he spent part of the journey explaining all that had happened in two days.
“Mayor Stokely and the Exhibition board were furious on Monday,” he said. “Lotta damage to the Exhibition, and a hell of a lotta damage to their reputations. It only got worse when they found Junior’s body.”
I exhaled sharply, keeping my eyes focused on the uneven forest floor. I didn’t want to think of Clarence, of his gruesome corpse, of his devastated family. “Then what happened?” I pressed.
“Well, Peger told the mayor that I’d done it—that I had killed Junior. He said the Spirit-Hunters were the hoodlums who’d destroyed the factory, and then to cap the climax, he accused us of bein’ the necromancer. Within an hour, warrants were out for the three of us—thank God Jie sniffed the change in the wind. She got all our stuff packed up in a wagon, and when the news broke that we were wanted criminals, we skedaddled.”
“To Laurel Hill,” I said.
“Yep—watch your step.” He guided me over a jutting tree root. “The Hungry have been breaking through the northern gate, but we intercept ’em—most, anyways. Joseph’s tired, though. Three times now, the spirit has shown up. Joseph barely managed to fight it off the last time.”
I ducked under a low branch and shook my head. “How long will you keep up this ridiculous sentry?”
He didn’t answer me. I supposed he had no answer to give. It reinforced my resolve to end this war tonight. To stop Elijah now.