“What do you mean?”
“Like…Three weeks ago, I was going to Cleveland for culinary school. I was still going to be in the States and I could have flown home once a month…maybe more. But two weeks ago everything changed and I just…I don’t know anymore. Do you think going abroad to this school is what’s best for me?”
“It’s the second highest ranked culinary school in the world, correct?”
She nodded.
“Then I don’t think you need me to tell you it’s the right choice…”
“I’m just wondering if…” Her voice trailed off. “Never mind…My chest feels like it’s going to explode any minute because I’ve had anxiety ever since I woke up this morning…Just so you know, I still expect you to email me whenever you get a chance so I won’t have to use so many international minutes, and you have to write me one letter a month.”
“Via email?”
“No, a real letter like old times.”
“It’s going to take a week or two for it to get to you.”
“I don’t care. I want one. I think it’s going to feel weird enough not talking to you so much.”
“Doubt it. I won’t notice your absence at all.”
She hit my shoulder. “You’ll miss me more than I miss you.”
“Want to bet?”
“Twenty dollars.”
“That’s all I’m worth?”
“That’s all you’re getting.” She laughed and leaned close.
I ran my fingers through her hair, suddenly feeling the need to kiss her lips, to pull her close and give her a kiss she’d never forget in front of everyone around us.
Fuck it… I covered her mouth with mine, claiming every inch of it with my tongue—not letting her go when she pretended like she wanted to. I bit her bottom lip, and smiled as she murmured against my mouth, but when I felt like she needed to take a breath, I finally pulled away.
Staring at me in shock, her cheeks turned red—a mix of horniness and anger.
“Add that to the list of shit that never happened between us…” I said under my breath, gently rubbing her back. “For the record, you’re doing the right thing by chasing your dreams…You know that, and you should—”
“I love you.” She cut me off. “I’m in love with you, and I need you to know that…I think I’ve loved you for most of my life, and…Even though I’m going away today, I need to know if…I need to know if you feel the same.”
Silence.
Her last paragraph repeated itself in my mind on a loop: I love you, I’m in love with you, do you feel the same…
I knew what I should’ve said, what would make her flight easier, but I had to say what I knew was better. What I knew was the right thing to do.
“Ari…” I said, looking into her eyes.
“Yes?”
“I’m sorry…” I noticed tears welling in her eyes. “Please don’t take this to heart but…I do love you, I love you very much but…”
“But?” Her face fell. “But, what?”
“But not in that way…You’re my best friend and I know we had sex but…We’re just friends.”
Wiping away a stray tear, she forced a smile and nodded, stepping back. “Right…Just friends.”
I reached out and pulled her back. “You’re doing the right thing by going abroad. You’re going to kick ass.”
“Thank you...” She gave me a hug and we stood still in an awkward embrace before slowly breaking apart.
“Did I miss something?” Her mom walked back over, looking between us both. “Why is your face so red, Ari?”
“I have no idea.” She turned away from me.
Her mom looked between the two of us again but didn’t press any further. “Could you stand next to each other again?”
We stepped closer and she snapped shot after shot.
“Okay…How about a hugging pose?” She snapped again. “Give each other a real hug! Like you’re actually best friends who won’t see each other for a while. Ari, you look like you don’t even want to be around Carter right now…”
If only she knew…
When she was satisfied with our less than stellar shots, she snapped her fingers and made solo requests for just Ari.
“Could you go stand by that departure sign, Ari?” Her mom asked. “Oh, and I need to get one of you in front of the international sign, too.”
Ten minutes later, when her mom had managed to snap a photo of her at every angle, Ari gave us both a hug.
“Take care, you two,” she said. “I love you both…Very, very much…”
“Love you, too,” we said.
“They’re going to start boarding in about thirty minutes…” She looked at her watch. “I need to get through security.” Her eyes met mine. “Talk to you later?”
“Talk to you later.”
She walked away and I kept my eyes on her until she disappeared. I walked her mom—who started to cry, back to her car, and when I was sure she wasn’t too emotional to drive, I headed to my car.
As I was starting the engine, I felt my phone vibrating. A text from Ari.
How much did you spend on upgrading me to first class?
I didn’t upgrade you to first class.