Angus glared at good friend in disgust. “Walter!” Angus scolded Walt.
Ignoring Angus, he answered Jack’s inquiry. “I actually eat five small meals; however, today I had a large breakfast and a small lunch, and now I am eating a hearty plateful of heavenly food. My compliments, Catherine!” Dr. Lapidus smiled warmly at Catherine as he raised his mug of hot coffee, clearly trying to change the subject. He failed miserably.
Jack looked pleased with the turn of the conversation, “Very good. Moving on.” Catherine's face was now on fire, “Jack honestly... Can you drop it?! You’re giving me heartburn!”
Again ignoring Catherine's plea, Jack continued, “What was next?"
Bridgette perked up giving her husband a sly smirk, "Frank didn't plow the mountain." Frank gave his wife a grouchy look; a non-verbal reply as if to say, Gee, thanks.
"I think I can handle this one," Frank offered. "My crew was on an over extended lunch break and-"
"No, no, no... Don’t explain to him!" Jack interrupted. "He thinks being a Morrow is equal to being royalty! Being a Morrow is just the same as being a Smith, an Anderson, or even, heaven forbid, a Trafford!" Jack said feigning shock and horror as he spoke.
Angus scrunched his face up as if he had smelled something utterly offensive. "The Traffords are on welfare, and I'm fairly certain that their eldest son does not bathe!” This got a chuckle from the crowd.
Jack quickly replied, "You do not know that! And even if they are, why does that make you better than them?"
Gus stood up straight, puffed out his chest, and held his head high as he replied, "Our family has upheld the integrity of our ancestor's land for over 150 years!"
"Which means that other people probably have better plumbing than us!" Jack retorted, unable to hold back his laughter any longer. The rest of the family followed suit, that is, everyone but Angus who had a nonplussed look upon his face.
"What's wrong with the plumbing?"
"Other than the fact that I have to run the shower for thirty minutes before the hot water arrives, I'd say nothing. Best plumbing that 1904 could offer!" Jack quipped. Catherine rolled her eyes. Did people even have indoor plumbing in 1904? Angus sat there looking at his son, not understanding what his major complaint was.
"Someone remind me, what was his next gripe?" Jack continued. The group sat thinking, then Bridgette got an excited look over her face, and her right hand rose in the air.
"You didn't shovel a path to the door to spare his beloved penny loafers!"
Angus looked thoroughly offended. "Hey! Your mother bought me those!"
Moira rolled her eyes profusely at Angus. "Oh piss on your penny loafers! You knew it was going to snow, get some boots!"
Jack let out a huge bellowing laugh at his mother. She was actually egging him on. Angus really must have done a number to her nerves on the trip.
"The reason I didn't shovel a path is because there were only three inches of snow out there when you arrived. We are expecting much more than that...and your shoes will dry. I promise," explained Jack.
"She paid one hundred and fifty dollars for those shoes at Finton's Fine Menswear! They better!" threatened Gus. Suddenly, Moira's face froze as she stared at her belligerent husband. Slowly a smirk formed on her beautiful but aging face.
"They are old as dirt! And if you want the truth, I got them off the clearance rack at Clover!" Angus glared at his wife sternly as a loud harrumph escaped his mouth.
"Clover?!" Angus asked incredulously. Moira simply shook her head in acknowledgment.
Jack’s three eldest sons squirmed in their seats, hoping their father would forget about the complaint Angus made about them. Suddenly, Thomas, age four, began to giggle uncontrollably, giving away their secret. “Oh, right! The constant whinging and whining of my three eldest sons! That could only be a learned skill…or an unwanted inheritance!” Jack noted.
A sheepish look crept onto Angus’ face as he spoke, “They didn’t learn it from me!”
The entire room roared into laughter at Angus’ bold declaration. Finally a smile formed on his face.