“You drive me mad,” he whispered and she turned her face to the side.
Their bowls of soup disappeared, and she frowned at the salad that replaced it. She loved her soups and stews—he’d have to tell Cook to leave her a bowl of it in her bedroom later tonight. His Carrot didn’t eat as she always should.
She picked up a fork and stabbed it into the lettuce, taking a hearty bite. She spoke around her mouthful. “I know there’s a witty comeback in there, but I’m simply too angry to try. I’m not doing this anymore with you, Rumpelstiltskin, understand me well. I’ve…” She swallowed and lifted another large chunk of lettuce to her mouth, crunching into it before resuming. “I’ve come to the conclusion that we are simply incapable of sharing our bodies without it getting ugly.”
“I disagree.”
“Ha!” She snorted derisively. “You say that now, because you want to what?”
She masticated her food with all the delicacy of a grazing cow. The chit was trying to turn him off, but it wasn’t working. She could do whatever vile thing she could come up with right now and he’d still want her. Her charms were flaring, spiking like sunbursts, brushing against his flesh so that he tingled all over.
But it was more than her charms and damn Giles for even implanting the suggestion in his head, for making him walk into this dining hall with thoughts of her—good, sexual, wonderful thoughts—burrowing like hot little incessant worms through his mind.
“Use me. Sex me up.” She popped the P. “Non, as my father would say. I respect myself too much for these games. Friends we shall be and that is all we shall be.”
He rubbed his chin. “Did you not like the taste of my cock in your mouth? How firm and rigid it was? Silky? Velvety, I believe was your exact wording.”
She gasped and choked on her salad, then began coughing.
Worried he might have gone too far, Rumpel was at her side in an instant, pounding between her shoulder blades.
“Bugger off!” She was finally able to wheeze at him, slapping his hands away.
“Only if you come too.” He licked his front teeth and this time when she smacked him it was hard enough to sting. “Ow.” He jerked away from her, grabbing hold of his chest as if in desperate pain.
“You drive me crazy.” She jerked to her feet. Her hair had come unpinned during her coughing fit and she swished it out of her eyes. “I can’t do this with you, not tonight. All these quips and sexual innuendos, it’s too much, and I don’t like it.”
What was he doing? The moment he asked it, he realized she was right. The siren was getting to him. Her, the wine, the low lights…
Shaking his head, he took two large steps back. “You’re right. I’m.” He sighed. “You don’t deserve this.”
“What do you want from me, Rumpel?” Her blue eyes pleaded.
He shook his head because the answer eluded him, but then it was suddenly there on his tongue and he dared to show it to her. “I want to be wherever you are. When I’m not with you, I’m thinking of you.”
“Of my body?” She snorted and crossed her arms. “You don’t know me well at all, we hardly spend time together unless you’re doing… stuff to me, or commanding I leave your presence. You give and then you take it all away.”
Her voice warbled at the last bit and she grimaced, glaring over his shoulder at the fireplace.
“You’re right, I do. You bring out these violent passions in me, and as noble as I want to be with you, I don’t know how. These are uncharted waters for me.”
She sighed. “Do you think any of this is easy for me? I haven’t been alone with a man not of my own blood since age nine. I don’t know what to expect; all I know is when we’re together it’s the best part of my day and the worst. I don’t think that’s normal. Do you?”
Lifting a hand, he brushed it against her cheek and the witch’s curse immediately activated. He sucked in a breath at the leak in his power, at the tug of his soul, and quickly withdrew. But it’d been worth it to see the bloom in her cheeks and the way her fingers grazed the spot so tenderly.
“I am a monster, but for you I wish to be better. That is the only truth I know.”
“Will you really release me after the final test?” She took a step closer, bringing her scent of roses with her. “And I know you can’t lie, I read it in the tome. Lying is a poison to you, it is your Achilles heel.”
He’d taken a huge risk when he’d allowed her to find those books, because his entire history was written in them. Nothing happened without his prior consent and approval, so he could have denied her. But a part of him wanted her to know every facet that made him who he was. The good, the bad, and the ugly, even if that meant exposing what few weaknesses he had.
“I don’t want to.”