"Clerical skills? Typing, maybe?"
"No."
"Math? Accounting? Banking?"
"No!" Anna Stevenson happened on a pencil amid the heaps of paper, extracted it, and tapped the eraser end against her clean white teeth.
"Can you waitress?" Rosie desperately wanted to say yes, but she thought about the large trays waitresses had to balance all day long... and then she thought about her back and her kidneys.
"No," she whispered. She was losing her battle with the tears; the little room and the woman on the other side of the desk began to blur and soften.
"Not yet, anyway. Maybe in a month or two. My back... right now it's not strong." And oh, it sounded like a lie. It was the kind of thing that, when he heard someone say it on TV, made Norman laugh cynically and talk about welfare Cadillacs and foodstamp millionaires. Anna Stevenson did not seem particularly perturbed, however.
"What skills do you have, Rose? Any at all?"
"Yes!" she said, appalled by the harsh, angry edge she heard in her voice but unable to make it go away or even mute it.
"Yes indeed! I can dust, I can wash dishes, I can make beds, I can vacuum the floor, I can cook meals for two, I can sleep with my husband once a week. And I can take a punch. That's another skill I have. Do you suppose any of the local gyms have openings for sparring partners?" Then she did burst into tears. She wept into her cupped hands as she had so often during the years since she had married him, wept and waited for Anna to tell her to get out, that they could fill that empty cot upstairs with someone who wasn't a smartass. Something bumped the back of her left hand. She lowered it and saw a box of Kleenex. Anna Stevenson was holding it out to her. And, incredibly, Anna Stevenson was smiling.
"I don't think you'll have to be anyone's sparring partner," she said.
"Things are going to work out for you, I think-they almost always do. Here, dry your eyes." And, as Rosie dried them, Anna explained about the Whitestone Hotel, with which Daughters and Sisters had had a long and useful relationship. The Whitestone was owned by a corporation on whose board Anna's well-to-do father had once sat, and a great many women had relearned the satisfactions of working for pay there. Anna told Rosie that she would have to work only as hard as her back allowed her to work, and that if her overall physical condition didn't begin to improve in twenty-one days, she would be hauled off the job and taken to a hospital for tests.
"Also, you'll be paired with a woman who knows the ropes. A sort of counsellor who lives here full time. She'll teach you, and she'll be responsible for you. If you steal something, it'll be her who gets in trouble, not you... but you're not a thief, are you?" Rosie shook her head.
"Just my husband's bank card, that's all, and I only used it once. To make sure I could get away."
"You'll work at the Whitestone until you find something that suits you better, as you almost certainly will-Providence, remember."
"With a capital P."
"Yes. While you're at the Whitestone, we ask only that you do your best-in order to protect the jobs of all the women who'll come after you, if for no other reason. Do you follow me?" Rosie nodded. "don't spoil it for the next person." "don't spoil it for the next person, just so. It's good to have you here, Rose McClendon." Anna stood up and extended both hands in a gesture which held more than a little of the unconscious arrogance Rosie had already sensed in her. Rosie hesitated, then stood and took the offered hands. Now their fingers were linked above the clutter of the desk.
"I have three more things to tell you," Anna said.
"They're important, so I want you to clear your mind and listen carefully. Will you do that?"
"Yes," Rosie said. She was fascinated by Anna Stevenson's clear blue gaze.
"First, taking the bank card doesn't make you a thief. That was your money as well as his. Second, there's nothing illegal about resuming your maiden name-it will belong to you your whole life. Third, you can be free if you want to." She paused, looking at Rosie with her remarkable blue eyes from above their clasped hands. "do you understand me? You can be free if you want to. Free of his hands, free of his ideas, free of him. Do you want that? To be free?"
"Yes," Rosie said in a low, wavering voice.
"I want that more than anything in the world." Anna Stevenson bent across the desk and kissed Rosie softly on the cheek. At the same time she squeezed Rosie's hands.
"Then you've come to the right place. Welcome home, dear."
8
It was early May, real spring, the time when a young man's fancy is supposed to lightly turn to thoughts of love, a wonderful season and undoubtedly a great emotion, but Norman Daniels had other things on his mind. He had wanted a break, one little break, and now it had come. It had taken too long-almost three goddam weeks-but it had finally come. He sat on a park bench eight hundred miles from the place where his wife was currently changing hotel sheets, a big man in a red polo shirt and gray gabardine slacks. In one hand he held a fluorescent green tennis ball. The muscles of his forearm flexed rhythmically as he squeezed it. A second man came across the street, stood at the edge of the sidewalk looking into the park, then spotted the man on the bench and began walking toward him. He ducked as a Frisbee sailed close by, then stopped short as a large German Shepherd charged past him, chasing it. This second man was both younger and slighter than the man on the bench. He had a handsome, unreliable face and a tiny Errol Flynn moustache. He stopped in front of the man with the tennis ball in his right hand and looked at him uncertainly.
"Help you, bro?" the man with the tennis ball asked.
"Is your name Daniels?" The man with the tennis ball nodded that it was. The man with the Errol Flynn moustache pointed across the street at a new highrise loaded with glass and angles.
"Guy in there told me to come over here and see you. He said maybe you could help me with my problem."
"Was it Lieutenant Morelli?" the man with the tennis ball asked.
"Yeah. That was his name."
"And what problem do you have?"
"You know," the man with the Errol Flynn moustache said.
"Tell you what, bro-maybe I do and maybe I don't. Either way, I'm the man and you're just a greasy little halfbreed cockgobbler with a very troubled life. I think you better tell me what I want to hear, don't you? And what I want to hear right now is what kind of problem you've got. Say it right out loud."
"I'm up on a dope charge," the man with the Errol Flynn moustache said. He looked sullenly at Daniels. "sold an eightball to a narc."
"Ooops," the man with the tennis ball said.
"That's a felony. It can be a felony, anyway. But it gets worse, doesn't it? They found something of mine in your wallet, didn't they?"
"Yeah. Your f**kin bank card. Just my luck. Find an ATM card in the trash, it belongs to a f**kin cop." "sit down," Daniels said genially, but when the man with the Errol Flynn moustache started to move to the right side of the bench, the cop shook his head impatiently.
"Other side, dickweed, other side." The man with the moustache backtracked, then sat gingerly down on Daniels's left side. He watched as the right hand squeezed the tennis ball in a steady, quick rhythm. Squeeze... squeeze... squeeze. Thick blue veins wriggled up the white underside of the cop's arm like watersnakes. The Frisbee floated by. The two men watched the German Shepherd chase after, its long legs galloping like the legs of a horse.
"Beautiful dog," Daniels said. "shepherds are beautiful dogs. I always like a Shepherd, don't you?" "sure, great," the man with the moustache said, although he actually thought the dog was butt-ugly and looked like it would happily chew you a new ass**le if you gave it half a chance.
"We've got a lot to talk about," the cop with the tennis ball said.
"In fact, I think this is going to be one of the most important conversations of your young life, my friend. Are you ready for that?" The man with the moustache swallowed past some sort of blockage in his throat and wished-for about the eight hundredth time that day-that he had gotten rid of the goddam bank card. Why hadn't he? Why had he been such a total goddamned idiot? Except he knew why he had been such a total goddamned idiot-because he'd kept thinking that eventually he might figure out a way to use it. Because he was an optimist. This was America, after all, the Land of Opportunity. Also because (and this was a lot closer to the nub of the truth) he had sort of forgotten it was there in his wallet, tucked in behind a bunch of the business cards he was always picking up. Coke had that effect on you-it kept you running, but you couldn't f**kin remember why you were running. The cop was looking at him, and he was smiling, but there was no smile in his eyes. The eyes looked... famished. All at once the man with the moustache felt like one of the three little pigs sitting on a park bench next to the big bad wolf.
"Listen, man, I never used your bank card. Let's just get that up front. They told you that, didn't they? I never f**kin used it once."
"Of course you didn't," the cop said, half-laughing.
"You couldn't get the pin-number. It's based on my home phone number, and my number's unlisted... like most cops." But I bet you already know that, right? I bet you checked."
"No!" the man with the moustache said.
"No, I didn't!" He had, of course. He had checked the phone book after trying several different combinations of the street address on the card, and the zip-code, with no luck. He had punched ATM buttons all over the city at first. He had punched buttons until his fingers were sore and he felt like an ass**le playing the world's most miserly slot machine. "so what's gonna happen when we check the computer runs on Merchant's Bank ATM machines?" the cop asked.
"We're not going to find my card in the CANCEL/RETRY column about a billion times? Hey, if we don't, I'll buy you a steak dinner. What do you think about that, bro?" The man with the moustache didn't know what to think about it, or anything else. He was getting a very bad feeling. A bitch of a bad feeling. Meanwhile, the cop's fingers went on working the tennis ball-in and out, in and out, in and out. It was creepy how he never stopped doing that.
"Your name's Ramon Sanders," the cop named Daniels said.
"You got a rap sheet long as my arm. Theft, con, dope, vice. Everything but assault, battery, crimes of that nature. No mixing it up for you, right? You fags don't like getting hit, do you? Even the ones that look like Schwarzenegger. Oh, they don't mind wearing a security tee-shirt and flexing their pecs for the limousines in front of some homo club, but if anyone actually starts hitting, you guys go flat in a hurry. Don't you?" Ramon Sanders said nothing. It seemed by far the wisest course.
"I don't mind hitting, "the cop named Daniels said.
"Kicking, either. Even biting." He spoke almost reflectively. He seemed to be looking both at and beyond the German Shepherd, which was now trotting back in their direction with the Frisbee in its mouth.
"What do you think of that, angel eyes?" Ramon went on saying nothing, and he tried to keep a poker face, but a lot of little lights inside his head were turning red, and a dismaying tingle had begun to shake its way through his nerve-tree. His heart was picking up speed like a train leaving the station and heading into open country. He kept snatching little glances of the big man in the red polo shirt, and liking less and less what he saw. The guy's right forearm was totally flexed now, veins fat with blood, muscles popped like freshly risen breadrolls. Daniels didn't seem to mind Ramon's failure to answer. The face he turned toward the smaller man was smiling... or appeared to be smiling, if you ignored the eyes. The eyes were as blank and shiny as two new quarters.
"I got good news for you, little hero. You can do the stroll on the dope charge. Give me a little help and you're as free as a bird. Now what do you think about that?" What he thought was that he wanted to go right on keeping his mouth shut, but that no longer seemed like an option. This time the cop wasn't just rolling on; this time he was waiting for an answer.
"That's great," Ramon said, hoping he was giving the right one.
"That's great, really excellent, thanks for giving me a break."
"Well, maybe I like you, Ramon," the cop said, and then he did an astounding thing, something Ramon never would have expected from a screwhead ex-gyrene like this guy: he plopped his left hand into Ramon's crotch and began giving him a rubdown, right out in front of God, the kids on the playground, and anybody who cared to take a look. He slid his hand in a gentle clockwise motion, his palm moving back and forth and up and down over the little patch of flesh which had more or less run Ramon's life ever since two of his father's buddies-men Ramon was supposed to call Uncle Bill and Uncle Carlo-had taken turns blowing him when he was nine years old. And what happened next was probably not very extraordinary, although it seemed very f**king bizarre right then: he began to get hard.
"Yeah, maybe I like you, maybe I like you a lot, greasy little cocksucker in shiny black pants and pointy shoes, what's not to like?" The cop kept on giving his c**k a shoeshine while he talked. He varied his stroke every now and then, applying a little squeeze that caused Ramon to gasp.
"And it's a good thing I like you, Ramon, you better believe it, because they really nailed you this time. Felony bust. But you know what bothers me? Leffingwell and Brewster-the cops who busted you-were laughing in the squadroom this morning. They were laughing about you, and that was okay, but I also have this feeling that they were laughing about me, and that's not okay. I don't like for people to laugh about me, and I generally don't put up with it. But this morning I had to, and this afternoon I'm going to be your best friend, I'm going to lose some pretty serious drug charges even though you had my f**king bank card. Can you guess why?" The Frisbee floated by again with the German Shepherd in close pursuit, but this time Ramon Sanders barely saw it. He was stiff as a railspike under the cop's hand, and as scared as a mouse under the claws of a cat. The hand squeezed harder this time, and Ramon uttered a hoarse little howl. His cafe-au-lait skin was running with sweat; his moustache looked like a dead earthworm after a hard rain.
"Can you guess, Ramon?"
"No," Ramon said.
"Because the woman who ditched the card was my wife," Daniels said.
"That's mostly why Leffingwell and Brewster were laughing, that's my deduction. She takes my bank card, she uses it to draw a few hundred bucks out of the bank-money I earned-and when the card turns up again, it's in the possession of a greasy little spick cocksucker named Ramon. No wonder they're laughing." Please, Ramon wanted to say, please don't hurt me, I'll tell you anything but please don't hurt me. He wanted to say those things, but he couldn't say a word. Not one. His ass**le had contracted until it felt roughly the size of an inner-tube valve. The big cop leaned closer to him, close enough so that Ramon could smell cigarettes and Scotch on his breath.
"Now that I've shared with you, I want you to share with me." The rubbing stopped, and strong fingers curled around Ramon's testes through the thin fabric of his slacks. The shape of his erect penis was clear above the cop's hand; it looked like one of those toy bats you could buy at a baseball park souvenir stand. Ramon could feel the strength in that hand.
"And you better share the right thing, Ramon. Do you know why?" Ramon shook his head numbly. He felt as if someone had turned on a warm water tap somewhere in his body and his entire skin was leaking. Daniels extended his right hand, the one with the tennis ball, until it was under Ramon's nose. Then he closed his hand with a sudden, vicious snap. There was a pop and a brief harsh whisper-fwahhhh-as his fingers punched through the ball's furry fluorescent skin. The ball collapsed inward, then turned halfway inside-out.
"I can do that with my left hand, too," Daniels said. "do you believe that?" Ramon tried to say he did and found he still couldn't talk. He nodded instead.
"Will you keep it in mind?" Ramon nodded again.
"Okeydoke. So now here's what I want you to tell me, Ramon. I know you're just a stinking little spick rump-wrangler who doesn't know much about women, except maybe for f**king your mother up the ass in your younger years-you've just got that motherfucker look about you, somehow-but you go on and use your imagination. How do you think it feels to come home and find out that your wife, the woman who promised to love, honor, and f**king obey you-has run off with your bank card? How do you think it feels to find out she used it to pay for her f**king vacation, and then she stuffed it in a bus-terminal garbage can for a greasy little penis-vacuum like you to find?"
"Not too good," Ramon whispered.
"I bet it don't feel too good, please don't hurt me, officer, please don't-"
Daniels slowly tightened his hand; tightened it until the tendons in his wrist stood out like the strings on a guitar. A wave of pain, heavy as liquid lead, rolled into Ramon's belly and he tried to scream. Nothing came out but a hoarse exhalation.
"Not too good?" Daniels whispered in his face. His breath was warm and steamy and boozy and cigarettey.
"Is that the best you can do? What a f**king numbnuts you are! Still... I guess it's not an entirely wrong answer, either." The hand loosened, but only a little. Ramon's lower belly was a lake of agony, but his penis was as hard as ever. He had never been into pain, whatever drove the bondage freaks was totally beyond him, and he could only suppose he still had a hardon because the blood in his c**k was trapped there by the heel of the cop's hand. He swore to himself that if he got out of this alive, he would go directly to St Patrick's and say fifty Hail Marys. Fifty? A hundred and fifty.
"They're laughing at me in there," the cop said, lifting his chin in the direction of the brand-new cop-shop across the street.
"They're laughing all right, oh yeah. Big tough Norman Daniels, and guess what? His wife ran out on him... but she took time to clean out most of the ready before she went." Daniels made an inarticulate growling sound, the sort of sound that a person should have to hear only while visiting the zoo, and gave Ramon's balls another squeeze. The pain was unbearable. He leaned forward and vomited between his knees-white chunks of curd laced with brown streaks that was probably the remains of the quesadilla he'd eaten for lunch. Daniels did not seem to notice. He was gazing into the sky above the jungle gym, lost in his own world.
"I should let them dance you around so even more people can laugh?" he asked. "so that they can yuck it up at the courthouse as well as at the police station? I don't think so." He turned and looked into Ramon's eyes. He smiled. The smile made Ramon want to scream.
"Here comes the big question," the cop said.
"And if you lie, little hero, I'm going to rip your scrote off and feed it to you." Daniels squeezed Ramon's crotch again, and now folds of darkness began to fall across Ramon's vision. He fought them desperately. If he passed out, the cop was apt to kill him just for spite. "do you understand what I'm saying?"
"Yes!" Ramon wept.
"I unnerstand! I unnerstand!"
"You were at the bus station and you saw her stick the card in the trash. That much I know. What I need to know is where she went next." Ramon could have wept with relief because, although there was no reason why he should be able to answer this question, it just so happened he could. He had looked after the woman once to make sure she wasn't looking back at him... and then, five minutes later, long after he had slid the green plastic card into his wallet, he had spotted her again. She had been hard to miss, with that red thing over her hair; it was as bright as the side of a freshly painted barn. "she was at the ticket-windows!" Ramon cried out of the darkness that was relentlessly enveloping him.
"At the windows!" This effort was rewarded by another ruthless squeeze. Ramon began to feel as if his balls had been torn open, doused with lighter fluid, and then set on fire.
"I know she was at the windows!" Daniels half-laughed, half-screamed at him.
"What else would she be doing at Portside if she wasn't going someplace on a bus? Doing a sociological study on scumbuckets like you? Which ticket-window, that's what I want to know-which f**king window and what f**king time?" And oh thank God, thank Jesus and Mother Mary, he knew the answers to both of those questions, too.
"Continental Express!" he cried, now separated from his own voice by what felt like miles.
"I seen her at the Continental Express window, ten-thirty, quarter of eleven!"
"Continental? You're sure?" Ramon Sanders didn't answer. He collapsed sideways on the bench, one hand dangling, slim fingers outstretched. His face was dead white except for two small purplish patches high on his cheeks. A young man and a young woman walked by, looked at the man lying on the bench, then looked at Daniels, who had by now removed his hand from Ramon's crotch. "don't worry," Daniels said, giving the couple a large smile.
"He's epileptic." He paused and let his smile widen.
"I'll take care of him. I'm a cop." They walked on a little faster and didn't look back. Daniels got an arm around Ramon's shoulders. The bones in there felt as fragile as bird's wings.
"Upsa-daisy, big boy," he said, and hauled Ramon up to a sitting position. Ramon's head lolled like the head of a flower on a broken stalk. He started to slide back down immediately,making little thick grunts in his throat. Daniels hauled him up again, and this time Ramon balanced. Daniels sat there beside him, watching the German Shepherd race joyfully after the Frisbee. He envied dogs, he really did. They had no responsibilities, no need to work-not in this country, anyhow-all food was provided for them, plus a place to sleep, and they didn't even have to worry about heaven or hell when the ride was over. He had once asked Father O'Brian back in Aubreyville about that and Father had told him that pets had no souls- when they died they just winked out like Fourth of July sparklers. It was true that the Shep had probably lost his balls not even six months after he was born, but...
"But in a way that's a blessing, too," Daniels murmured. He patted Ramon's crotch, where the penis was now deflating even as the testicles began to swell.
"Right, big boy?" Ramon muttered deep in his throat. It was the sound of a man having a terrible dream. Still, Daniels thought, what you got was what you got, and so you might as well be content with it. He might be lucky enough to be a German Shepherd in his next life, with nothing to do but chase Frisbees in the park and stick his head out the back window of the car on his way home to a nice big supper of Purina Dog Chow, but in this one he was a man, with a man's problems. At least he was a man, unlike his little buddy. Continental Express. Ramon had seen her at the Continental Express ticket-window at ten-thirty or quarter to eleven, and she wouldn't have waited long-she was too scared of him to wait for long, he'd bet his life on that. So he was looking for a bus that had left Portside between, say, eleven in the morning and one in the afternoon. Probably headed for a large city where she felt she could lose herself.
"But you can't do that," Daniels said. He watched the Shep jump and snatch the Frisbee out of the air with its long white teeth. No, she couldn't do that. She might think she could, but she was wrong. He would work it on weekends to start with, mostly using the phone. He would have to do it that way; there was a lot going on at the company store, a big bust coming down (his bust, if he was lucky). But that was all right. He'd be ready to turn his full attention to Rose soon enough, and before long she was going to regret what she had done. Yes. She was going to regret it for the rest of her life, a period of time which might be short but which would be extremely... well...
"Extremely intense," he said out loud, and yes-that was the right word. Exactly the right word. He got up and walked briskly back toward the street and the police station on the other side, not wasting a second glance on the semiconscious young man sitting on the bench with his head down and his hands laced limply together in his crotch. In Detective Inspector 2/Gr Norman Daniels's mind, Ramon had ceased to exist. Daniels was thinking about his wife, and all the things she had to learn. About all the things they had to talk about. And they would talk about them, just as soon as he tracked her down. All sorts of things-ships and sails and sealing wax, not to mention what should happen to wives who promised to love, honor, and obey, and then took a powder their husbands" bank cards in their purses. All those things. They would talk about them up close.