“We need to know everything that happened if we’re going to have any chance of dealing with this appropriately,” Vanessa states. She may be an ice queen, but she knows her stuff. “Dawson, you seem to remember the most. Let’s start with you.”
“On the plane, we pre-partied. Drank a lot of champagne. We got to Vegas. Checked into our suite. It was the coolest place I’ve ever seen. I didn’t know they even had suites like it. There was a round bed that rotated. A fireman’s pole. Remember sliding down it?” he says excitedly.
Everyone nods as I remember what Jennifer told me on the bed. That I should care that she was fucking Knox.
When did I stop caring?
After Ariela.
“Oh, gosh,” Jennifer says, holding up a photo. “Knox, why were we humping Roman statues?”
“You said you wanted to have a threesome,” Knox says, laughing.
I’d be laughing too if I wasn’t waiting for this to be over so Keatyn could fire me.
“Do you remember stripping off your skirt to skinny dip in the fountain?” Knox asks her. “You said if throwing a penny in and making a wish for love was supposed to work, that immersing your whole body would ensure happiness.”
“There’s a photo of that too,” Tyler says, rummaging through photos to find the correct one and then handing it to Jennifer.
“Okay, so we have fire pole sliding, a strip club, a roller coaster ride, statue humping, and attempted skinny dipping,” Vanessa says. “What else?”
“Then we got politely asked to leave the Forum shops and to never return,” Dawson says. “After that, we took the party bus to strip club number two. We did shots on the way there.”
“This must be at strip club number two,” Knox says, holding up a photo of a topless Jennifer giving him a lap dance. And another one of them making out.
Jennifer holds up another photo, comparing them. “This one looks like it was taken at the same place, but because we’re both shirtless, it gives the impression that we’re naked and having sex. My parents are going to fucking kill me. Not to mention my agent. And I don’t even want to talk to my publicist. Remind me to never go to Vegas with you all again.”
“That goes for me too,” Dawson says. “Although, I do remember having fun.”
“I remember having fun too,” Jennifer says, holding up a photo of her surrounded by barely dressed waitresses. “But I just don’t understand. Where did the press get all these photos?”
“You took a lot of photos,” Knox says. “I do remember that. You were obsessed with it. You said an epic night needs a record. So you could remember everything you'd probably forget.”
“And you gave me your phone and made me video you on the stripper pole,” Dawson admits.
“Well, here’s a fun photo,” Tyler interrupts with a smirk on his face, holding a stack of photos out for all of us to see. “Jennifer, you were a lovely drunken bride. Which one of you was the lucky groom?”
Jennifer’s face goes white.
“What?!” Jennifer screeches as she grabs the photos out of Tyler's hand. Looking at the first one, she says, “Oh! Look at me with Elvis! Ohmigawd that photo is priceless! But I was probably just dressing up like the pirate thing. No way we got married.”
Knox holds out a manila envelope. As he dumps the contents of it, I notice little beads of sweat have formed on his forehead. Knox rarely sweats.
Two shiny silver wedding bands clang onto the table.
“Oh fuck!” Jennifer groans. “Knox? What the fuck? Did we get married? I was joking when I said let’s get married in Vegas. Oh my god.” She flips to the next photo. “Look at me in this one. I’m in a veil. I have that silver ring on my finger and the other in my hand! I’m giving Elvis a thumbs-up! And, ohmigawd, look at this one. Knox, we’re at the altar, kissing!”
“I remember going to a wedding,” Dawson admits. “And, Jennifer, I remember you throwing a bouquet.”
“Did you sign anything?” Knox asks Dawson, clearly shaken by this. “If you were our witness, you would have signed something. Now that I think about it, I do remember being at a chapel. I was on the steps and worried I was going to puke and ruin the wedding. But I think it was someone else’s wedding.”
“I remember crashing a wedding,” I interject. I haven’t said a word this whole time. I’m afraid to open my mouth, but Knox’s face is getting so red, I’m worried he might have a stroke.
“Oh, me too, now that you say that,” Dawson confirms. “I think you and Jennifer stood up for someone. They said it would be an honor. Then, I think later, Jennifer took her veil.”
Knox lets out a big breath of air. “Dodged that bullet,” he says, obviously relieved.
“Wasn’t there a wedding party on our party bus?” Dawson asks. “Didn’t we invite them back to the suite?”
“Yes! I remember that!” Jennifer says. “I puked in the party bus, and the bride told me that was the best way to cure a hangover. That I should just stay drunk. So I started drinking again.”
Tyler hands her another photo.