CHAPTER FIVE
Something was wrong. Again. This time, I knew it before I walked in the door.
Work had picked up in the afternoon. There’d been no more time for worry, or bitter and twisted thoughts. Definitely a good thing. Now, I was ten types of tired. Two hours of sleep and stressing over money had done me in. The icy cold wind I’d walked in after getting off the MAX had frozen my neck and the tip of my nose. Any chocolate- and booze-fetching plan had flown straight out the window. I wanted a bath and bed. That was my entire plan for the night and it was a beautiful thing.
In a daze, I slid my key into the lock, which was when the door flew in–it wasn’t even latched. Balance shot to shit, I fell, face planting in the middle of a hot, hard, sweaty chest.
I oomphed.
He grunted.
Strong hands grabbed me about the waist, holding me steady. A good thing, I really needed a hand right then or my ass might’ve met the floor. Perhaps I’d entered the wrong apartment. My mind had been elsewhere, worlds away from reality. Another apartment would certainly explain the delicious warm body I was up against.
Since when did sweat smell so good?
It was all I could do not to rub my face in, breathing deep. A sniff or two shouldn’t be going too far. Discreetly done, of course.
“Anne. Dude.” The chest vibrated beneath my cheek. “Welcome home!”
I knew that voice. I did. But what the hell was it doing in my apartment? Stunned, I blinked up at a familiar beautiful face. “Mal?”
“’Course it’s me.” He laughed. “You on drugs or something? You shouldn’t do drugs. They’re not good for you.”
“I’m not doing drugs.” Though drugs might have gone a ways toward explaining what I was seeing. Because what I was seeing was surreal. “You’re here.”
No doubt about it. He definitely was. I would know because my hands were still all over his hot, half-naked body. My hormones sidetracked any thoughts about their removal. I couldn’t blame them.
“I know,” he said. “Isn’t it great?”
“Yeah. Wow.”
He nodded.
I stared. How the hell did he get in? The door had been locked when I left.
“How was work?” he asked.
“Fine. Thank you.”
He smiled down at me. “I was expecting you hours ago.”
“Yeah, I had to close up and some people came in at the last minute. Mal, why are you here in my apartment without a shirt on? How did that happen?”
“It got hot moving shit.” He rolled his neck, stretching out the muscles. “You’re only on the second floor, but the stairs start to add up, you know? Nate and Lauren helped out for a bit, then they had to go. Anyway, not like you care, right? No dress code I need to know about?”
I still stared. Words came out of his mouth but they continued to make no sense. Nothing about this did.
His eyes narrowed on me. “Hang on, I’ve got my shirt off and everything and you’re not giving me crazy eyes. What’s with that?”
“Ah, I guess I’m too surprised at seeing you here.”
His brows descended, as did the corners of his gorgeous lips. The man looked seriously sad. “Been looking forward to it all day.”
“Sorry.”
“Never mind. Come on, check it out.” He pulled me into the apartment, my apartment, slamming the door shut behind me. Not answering the important question about his presence even a little. But what was truly upsetting was the way he separated my hands from his body. They wept silently. Either that or I was sweating. Most likely the latter. He had the weirdest effect on me.
“Ta-da,” he sang, waving a hand about in a grand gesture, presenting my small living room to me.
“Wow.”
“Awesome, right?”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah! I knew you’d love this.”
I stared some more. Then I rubbed my eyes because they were starting to hurt. It was probably from all the bulging but I couldn’t be sure.
What the hell was happening here?
“You moved in with me somehow.” There could be no other reason for an entire drum kit appearing in the corner, let alone all the other stuff. The Twilight Zone had officially been entered. “You … huh. How about that.”
He grimaced and rocked back on the heels of his Chucks. “I know what you’re gonna say, it’s sooner than I thought too. But Davie threw me out today so I figured, why wait?”
I just blinked, the rest of me being too frozen to respond.
“Okay. Long story short, I accidentally saw Ev naked.” He held up his hands, protesting his innocence. “It was only side boob, I swear. No nipple or anything like that. But you know what he’s like with her, the f*cking drama queen. He completely lost his shit.”
I nodded. I didn’t actually have a clue, but it seemed a response was required.
“Exactly. As if it’s my fault. It was in the f*cking kitchen! I just wanted something to eat and there they are, dry humping against the wall. I didn’t even know she’d gotten home from work. As if I want to see that. It’s like walking in on your folks. Well, except Ev actually has great tits.” His guilty gaze slid to my face. “Alright, there might have been a flash of nipple but I swear it’s not like I went out of my way to see it. Not my fault she was topless. Anyway, Davie went ballistic.”
“He did?”
“Oh yeah. Huge. Harsh words were said. We may have even wrestled slightly. But I forgive him. Love makes you psycho, right?”
“Right.” There was a sentiment I could wholeheartedly get behind. When my first boyfriend broke up with me at sixteen, my tiny little world had been rocked. And look at my mom. She’d lost her shit completely when dad left.
“Mm.”
“So you moved in with me?” I said, ever so slowly piecing the story together.
Mal shrugged. “Well, hell yeah!”
“No, I mean, you actually moved in with me. Here. Into my apartment. Um, how did you get in again, just out of interest?”
“Is this going to be an issue?” he asked with a long, winded sigh. “Anne, come on. We talked about this last night. If you were gonna have a problem with me moving in, that was the time to bring it up, not now.”
“I thought you were joking.”
“Dude, that’s offensive. Why would I joke about important stuff like that?”
“Because you were drunk?”
“I get some of my best ideas under the influence.”
“I didn’t even think you’d remember.”
“Again, offended,” he said. “I’m not some fifteen-year-old. I know what I can handle.”
“Sorry.” I don’t quite know why I was the one apologizing. But never mind. My legs felt weak. I perched on the edge of the nearest couch. It was incredibly comfortable, though it did little for my sudden light-headedness.
Mal Ericson.
Living with me.
He did indeed look serious as evidenced by the little indent between his brows from frowning back at me. Ever so subtly I kicked myself, to check I was awake and not dreaming. Crap, it hurt. Pain radiated from my anklebone, making me wince. Yep, wide awake. Also, the heel on my Docs packed a punch.
“You’re looking at me weird again,” he said.
“Am I?”
He rolled his eyes. “Women. Honest, I swear, it was a hint of nipple and no more. I meant no disrespect to Evvie.”
I leaned down, surreptitiously rubbing my brand-new bruise. “I believe you.”
“Good. Can you please stop bringing it up?”
I opened my mouth to tell him I hadn’t. But it seemed safer to keep the thought to myself. Who knew what tangent it would launch him into next? Mal Ericson was a hard man to keep up with.
“Shit, you don’t like the couch do you?” he asked. “That’s what the look is about.”
“The couch?”
“Man.” Mal hung his head, hands on his slim hips. “I called Ev to ask what color you’d want but she started asking questions and then she started yelling and it was just a f*cking mess. I can’t be standing in some furniture shop arguing on the phone with some chick, you know? I’ve gotta reputation to consider. So I tried calling Lauren ‘cause I figured she might have a spare key to your place–which she did.”
“Lauren let you in?”
“Yeah. And she said to definitely get that one, said you’d go nuts for it.”
“No, it’s … um, it’s really nice.” I ran my palm over the velvet fabric. It felt divine, super soft. No way did I want to know what it must have cost.
“Really?” He looked at me from beneath his brows, mouth tight with concern. Still, the green and hazel of his eyes was crystal clear. He seemed almost childlike somehow, vulnerable. “You’re sure you like it?”
I couldn’t tear my gaze away from him to give the item of furniture a proper perusal. No doubt, however, it looked every bit as good as it felt. “It’s beautiful, Mal.”
“Phew.” His sudden grin lit my world.
I smiled back so hard my face hurt. “Look, I’m not saying no to you moving in. I guess I’m still trying to get my head around the concept. But why do you want to live with me?”
“I like you,” he said simply.
“You barely know me.”
“You’re a friend of Ev’s and Lauren’s. We talked. I tackled you. We rolled around on the floor together. It was a real bonding experience.”
I blinked.
“More? Seriously?”
“Please.”
“You know, I’ve never lived with a female before. Well, not since my mom and sisters, and they don’t count. Gimme a minute, this is way harder than it looks.” He threw himself into the black leather wingback chair across from me. Very cool chair. No match for the man sitting in it, but still, nice chair. I waited as he made various pained expressions, finally pinching the bridge of his nose. “You seem like a nice girl, you know?”
I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Laughter seemed safer. “Thanks.”
“Hang on,” he groaned. “I’m not used to having to talk women into shit, either. Usually, they’re just happy to go along with whatever.”
And I did not blame them one bit. But I was reasonably certain there lay the path to ruin. I’d be trailing around behind him like a lovelorn puppy in no time. Not good.
His fingers tapped out a beat on the rolled wooden chair arms. He was a restless soul, was Malcolm Ericson. Never still. You could see how all of his energy made him such a great drummer. “You know, it was fun hanging out with you last night. I enjoyed it. Cool that you weren’t being psycho or getting in anyone’s face. Despite you being so into me that you get all crazy eyed, I kinda find you strangely soothing to be around right now.”
A shadow passed over his face, there and gone in an instant. If not for Ev’s visit I might have convinced myself I’d imagined it. But no. Something was definitely up with this man.
“You don’t bug me with a lot of questions. Well, you didn’t last night.” He reclined in the chair like a king, resting his ankle on his knee. The energy or tension running through him kept his fingers jittering, endlessly tapping. “Let’s look at it this way. You need money, right?”
I hesitated, but it was the truth. We both knew it. “Right.”
“I need something too.”
My eyes narrowed. If he started yelling about sexual healing again I’d throw him out, cool furniture, drum kit, and all. Or I’d lick him all over. With my current confusion and stress levels, chances were fifty/fifty. An opportunity to throw myself at him might just be too good to miss. After all, how many more chances would I get? My luck had to run out eventually.
“And I think you’ll suit my needs to perfection,” he continued.
“Your needs?”
One side of his mouth hitched higher (forty/sixty). “Every man has needs, young Anne. How old are you, by the way?”
“Twenty-three. I’m aware everyone has needs. But Mal, I’m not going to meet yours.” My nose went high. Sweet baby Jesus, I so badly wanted to meet his needs, but not when he gave me that smug grin. A girl had to have her pride.
“Sure you are.” He laughed softly, evilly, seeing right through me (twenty/eighty). “You’re dying to meet my needs. You can’t look away from my luscious half-naked body. The minute I opened the door you were pawing at me. It was like you were in heat or something.”
F*ck.
I squeezed my eyes shut for a moment, blocking him out in an attempt to regain my wits. If only my heart would stop slipping into cardiac arrest at the sight and sound of him. It would make things so much easier. “No, Mal. I lost my balance when you opened the door on me. Finding you here has actually come as a bit of a surprise. I’m not used to people just moving themselves in with me without some serious discussion up front.”
When I opened my eyes, he was silently watching me. Judging me.
“And I wasn’t pawing at you.”
The too-calm expression on his face spoke volumes. He didn’t believe me, not even a little. “Hey, now, don’t be embarrassed.”
I wasn’t a clueless virgin. My V-card had been stamped with my first and last long-term boyfriend at age sixteen. Since coming to Portland, I’d indulged in the odd date. Why wouldn’t I? I was young and free. I enjoyed sex. Thoughts of mounting a half-naked man on a wingback chair? Not so much.
I was out of control. No way could I let him know this, however.
“It’s okay, pumpkin. I don’t mind you pawing at me. If that’s how you feel the need to express your affection, that’s cool.”
“Mal.” This was going from bad to worse. I don’t even know why I started laughing. “Please stop talking. I need a minute. Consider this a boundary.”
His eyes lit with delight. “Hey, you’ve been thinking about what I said. That’s great. I respect your boundary, Anne.”
“Then why are you still talking?”
“Right. Sorry.”
I tried to find my calm. Why had I never made time for yoga? Deep breathing exercises would have been so useful.
When I opened my eyes, Mal smiled back at me serenely. The arrogant jerk. So confident. So hot. And so damn shirtless. What was with that? It was fall in Portland, cool weather, raining on and off. Normal people wore clothes this time of year.
“Can you put a shirt on?”
He scratched at his chin. “Mm, no. That’s my boundary, sorry. I like your sexy looks too much to get dressed.”
Crap, was I making crazy eyes?
“You’re perfect,” he muttered, smirk firmly in place.
Damn it, I was.
“What do you think my needs are, Anne?”
“I’m aware you’re talking about sex, Mal. That’s kind of obvious. But why, out of all the women at your disposal, would you choose me? That I don’t understand. And why you would move yourself in with me, I don’t really get that either. You could have gone to a hotel or rented a place of your own much nicer than here.”
“Noooo.” He slumped back in the seat, laying his meshed fingers on his flat belly. “I’m not talking about sex. I like to think you and I are above all of that messy, physical stuff, despite your infatuation with me. What I need is a girlfriend … well, a pretend girlfriend, and you, Anne Rollins, are perfect.”
“F*ck, what?”
He burst out laughing.
“You’re joking,” I said, relieved. Well, mad and relieved. Were rock stars so bored these days they had to resort to such extremes for entertainment?
“No, I’m not joking. Your reaction was funny, is all.” Long fingers brushed back his blond hair, pulling it off his face. “This is serious, a business transaction, and it’s gotta be kept on the down low. I’ve paid your rent. I got you furniture to replace what that a*shole friend of yours took. In return, I want you to play my girlfriend for a while.”
My jaw gave way to gravity. “You’re not serious.”
“Why do you never believe anything I say? Anne, I am very serious.”
“Why me?”
He sighed and stared at the ceiling long and hard. “I dunno, the way you helped your friend out, even if she didn’t do right by you.”
“Mal, that doesn’t make me a good person. It makes me an idiot.” Given how things had gone down it was nothing less than the cold, hard truth. “You basically said as much yourself last night. I let her use me.”
Mal bared his teeth. “Hey, I never said you were an idiot and I don’t want to hear you talking like that again. There’s another boundary, right there.”
“O-kay, relax.”
“I am perfectly relaxed. Look, we’ve all got our problems, Anne. I never said you were perfect.” He paused, scratched his chin. “Oh, no wait. I did say that. Well, I didn’t mean it exactly like … not that you’re not great and everything but … yeah, let’s move this on.”
“No. Come on, rock star. How did you mean it?” I asked, suppressing a giggle. It was just him. I couldn’t help it, the man was hilarious.
He waved away the question. “No, we’ve moved on. Out of interest, did it even occur to you to hit Ev up for the money you needed last night?”
I reared back in surprise. “What? No.”
“She’d have given it to you. F*ck knows her and Davie have got it.”
“It’s not her problem.”
He gave me another smug look.
“That proves nothing. And if you’ve chosen me for my ethics then am I really the best person to be lying to your friends and family, Mal?”
“Pumpkin … we’re not going to be hurting anyone. We’re just going to be helping each other out, that’s all.”
“You said I was a hopeless liar.”
“You’ll be fine.” He waved my protests away.
I just sat there and reeled. Was this really something we could pull off?
“Trust me.”
“Why do you need a pretend girlfriend?”
“Because I do.”
“Mal.”
He rolled his eyes, face tensing. “Because it’s none of your business why, okay? I’ve paid up your rent. Your sweet ass will not be evicted. In return, all I ask is that you gaze adoringly at me around other people. You do that anyway; what’s the big deal here?”
“So you’re not going to tell me?”
“Have you had your hearing tested lately? Let’s just say I have a good reason, a personal reason, and leave it at that. Honestly, you’re as bad as Davie and Ev. ‘What’s wrong, Mal?’ ‘Are you okay, Mal’ Well, I was until everyone asked me a thousand f*cking times.” He pushed to his feet and started pacing the room. Given the length of his legs, he didn’t get very far. Three steps forward, three steps back. After a couple of laps he stopped, stared out the window at the street below.
“Why does everyone insist on being heavy all the f*cking time? Life’s too short for all this oversharing. You’re here. I’m here. We can help each other out and have a good time while we’re at it. That’s all that matters.” He spun on his heel to face me, arms out wide. “Life’s a song, Anne. Let’s play.”
My life hadn’t been much of a song … at least, not up until this point.
Neither of us spoke for a moment. Expectation and impatience oozed from him. I did indeed have a bad feeling I was being played again. However, not maliciously this time. Mal didn’t seem like he’d harm a fly. But he might accidentally trample one.
From the outside, it seemed a good deal. I really did need the money. I also liked being around him. He was about a bazillion times more fun than I’d ever known. Whatever happened, this was bound to be a hell of a ride. And if I knew he would leave, up front, there’d be no risk of getting overly attached. I’d just enjoy the time I had with him and then say good-bye. This could very well be fantastic.
“Alright,” I said at last. “You have pulled my ass out of the fire. Thanks for that. But I’m still not completely convinced about this girlfriend plan. I guess we’ll see how it goes.”
He clapped his hands in glee. “You won’t regret this. I won’t mess with your life. Much.”
“Much?”
“And you know I’m a f*cking delight to have around. People don’t always get that about me. Plus, I’ll open jars and lift heavy shit. I hear those are issues for women.” He bounced around the room. Good god, this man had energy to spare like he snorted sugar. “So, what should we do tonight? Wanna order some food? What do you feel like?”
I slumped back in the chair, tired from just watching him. “Mal, I don’t have money for that, but you go ahead.”
“Would you stop worrying about money? That’s why I’m here. Everything’s fine. Now what do you feel like?”
“Whatever you want is great.”
“That is so the correct answer. We are going to be the best fake couple ever, pumpkin.”
“Please don’t call me that.”
“Puuuumpkin,” he drawled, eyebrows waggling. “It’s a great nickname. Your hair is kinda that color and we’re a couple now. Couples always have dumb-ass names for each other. C’mon, you think up one for me.”
“I’ll get right to work on that.”
“Cool. Then we’ll have touching time.” He rubbed his hands together. “Actually, never mind, we can do that later in bed.”
My mind scrambled for purchase. “Bed? Touching time? Is that a euphemism? I thought we weren’t having sex. You said we were just pretending.”
“Geez, relax. We’re not having sex, we’re just sleeping together. The whole plan will totally collapse if we start having sex. What I need is a respectable long-term-looking relationship. We start f*cking and you’ll be all ‘Oh Mal, I never dreamed such ecstasy was possible. I cannot live without you! F*ck me, Mal. Pleeeeease.’” His knees buckled until he fell flat onto the floor. It was an impressive performance. The man knew how to bat his eyelashes.
I giggled like a vapid schoolgirl. A noise that pretty much made me want to shoot myself on principle.
“And then everything will go all psycho Fatal Attraction. Trust me, I’ve seen it happen and it’s not pretty. So let’s keep it strictly above the belt. Get your mind out of the gutter, Anne.”
“You’re that good, huh?”
He leveled me with a look. “Miss Rollins, you have no idea.”
“You know, I honestly can’t decide if your ego is repulsive or just impressive.”
“You want me to lie to you instead?”
“Mal, I can barely tell when you’re being serious as it is.”
He rolled onto his hands and knees, then crawled over to me, eyes full of mischief. “If I’m talking to you, I’m serious. Now, we’ll have to kiss in public, obviously. And what if we’re out to dinner and I stick my tongue in your ear and you get all weirded out? People might start to wonder. So we need to practice the touching thing.”
“Your tongue? Really? I don’t know …”
“Lucky for you, I’m here and I do.” He stood and picked up a cell phone, his finger flicking over the screen. “We need to make sure we look tight. Lauren’s been over f*cking constantly. We can’t risk separate bedrooms. Do you know she doesn’t even knock, just bursts on in like she owns the place? Some people, no manners.”
I was too overwhelmed to point out the irony in that statement.
“Yes, but we could lock the door,” I suggested, growing slightly palm-sweaty desperate again. Though, to be honest, I’d never really stopped.
Me sleeping with Mal? No. Not a good idea. Him bouncing around my apartment half-naked was enough. Touching in the dark would do me in for sure. I’d attack him despite my best intentions. Given we’d be living together for the foreseeable future, pushing for more would be a freaking disaster.
“We can’t just lock the door,” he said. “Lauren went and got another key made. You need better security, pumpkin.”
“Very true.”
“Hey, you don’t snore do you?”
I gave him my very best withering glare.
“Just asking.” He backed away, still playing with his phone. “And I’ll make sure I keep any hookups on the down low, okay? I won’t embarrass you with any of that.”
“Thanks.” I shouldn’t have been surprised. But I was. Stupid, stupid me. “Were you just setting this up last night? Was that what it was all about?”
“Well, yeah.”
I opened my eyes wide. Painfully wide. I took a deep breath in through my nose. It didn’t matter really. My pride had taken a hit, but I had a roof over my head for the foreseeable future. Time to suck it up.
This sleeping-together thing wouldn’t work. It couldn’t. The fact that I was buzzing with tension just from the thought of it confirmed as much. But me playing his girlfriend part? I owed it to him to try. It could even be fun. Serious fun. And god knew I was overdue for some of that in my life.
I sat up straight, took a deep breath. “Okay, I’m agreeing to everything but the touching time.”
He opened his mouth to protest but I plowed on before he could get a word out. “And tomorrow we put a sliding lock on the door to keep Lauren out and you start sleeping in the spare room. These are my conditions.”
“Look at you, all assertive. I like it. Though really, I’d prefer it if you thought of me as being beyond boundaries.”
“I’m serious, Mal. Take it or leave it. I just got out of one clusterf*ck of a roommate situation. I won’t fall straight into another.”
Mal crossed his arms and looked down the length of his nose at me. At first, I thought he would argue. Some evil subversive part of me might have even hoped he would, at least on the sleeping front. But he didn’t.
“Very well, I accept your terms. Tell you what,” he said slowly. “Why don’t I hit the couch tonight?”
My shoulders dropped in what was most likely relief. “That would be great. Thanks.”
“No problem.” He gave me a vaguely amused look. “Whatever works for you, Anne.”
“Great. I’m going to go have a bath.”
“Have fun.”
“Yeah.”
The bathroom door was locked shut behind me in record time. I sat on the edge of the big old battered claw-foot tub, blood rushing loud behind my ears. My mind was a blur. I’d just talked my way out of sleeping with a rock star. What had I done?
Disappointment made my insides ache.
But this was the right move. I needed to remember how into Reece I was. He was a far safer crush option. One day, he and I had a chance of actually working out.
Once all of the noise in my head faded, I looked at myself in the mirror. My hair hung flat around my face. My eyes were wide and wild. Within the space of twenty-four hours I’d been turned upside down. I might not be sleeping with one, but I most certainly now lived with a rock star. Didn’t see that one coming.
“What the hell have you gotten yourself into?” I asked the girl in the mirror.
She had nothing but a dazed, surprised smile to offer. Clearly she was a sucker for Mal’s particular brand of crazy. Thank goodness I was more mature.
I pulled my work T-shirt off over my head and started in on the laces of my boots. The sudden banging on the door almost made me fall off my perch. I put a hand to the floor and pushed myself upright before I fell face forward.
“Anne?”
“Yeah?” I sat back up and crossed my arms over my black bra, covering things up even though he couldn’t possibly see.
“I forgot to say thanks. For letting me live here with you and agreeing to be my girlfriend. I really appreciate it.”
“Well, thank you for paying my rent and for the furniture and everything.”
“That was nothing. I would’ve done that anyway. Didn’t like seeing you sad last night.”
“Really?” My throat tightened and I stared at the door, amazed. That was huge. I really didn’t know what to say. He barely knew me and yet he would have come to my rescue? Mal Ericson might be a bad boy, but he was also a good man.
One that I liked very much.
“Yeah. ‘Course. It’s going to be fun, Anne,” he said, his voice close to the door. “You wait and see.”
“Okay.”
He sounded like he needed me to believe him. Funny thing was, I did.