“No! God, no! What are you doing!” I blink, disoriented. I’m being tossed around and someone is yelling the same thing over and over. Moving my hands, I feel…Lucian. My body is partly on top of his, and he’s trembling and jerking beneath me as if in agony. Even in my groggy state, I know he’s having a nightmare. His voice has gone hoarse from yelling. I gently try to wake him, to soothe his distress.
“Luc…it’s Lia. Baby, wake up, you’re dreaming.” I continue to murmur softly to him until he starts to quieten. He is still shaking, but his voice has lowered, and I think he’s settling back into sleep. My body is relaxing when he starts to choke. His hands reach frantically for his throat and the sounds are so real I’m terrified that somehow, this time, something or someone is strangling him. “Luc...God, please wake up. Luc!” Suddenly, he rears up, and the momentum sends me flying through the air. I land in a sprawling heap against the coffee table, clipping my head on the way down. I lay there, trying to get my bearings, while Luc pants nearby on the couch.
“Lia…” Lucian sounds confused as he calls my name. I hear a click and then the light of the lamp creates a yellow glow in the room; we must have both fallen asleep on the couch.
“I’m here,” I say as I struggle to my feet. I approach him warily, ensuring he is indeed awake now. I rub the knot forming on the back on my head as I reach him. “Are you okay?”
Looking bewildered, he asks, “What happened? Why were you on the floor?”
I sit next to him, rubbing my hand on his back. “You had a bad dream.”
Turning to me he says, “Did I scare you? Is that why you were on the floor?”
“Um…no. I…fell off when you sat up.” His eyes zero in on my other hand, still rubbing the place that made contact with the table. He reaches out to feel the area I’m touching and bites off a curse as he feels the bump.
“Fuck. Shit, baby, I’m sorry. I hurt you. I’m so sorry. Shit.”
“Luc, it’s fine. Really, it’s not a big deal.” He ignores what I’m saying, insisting on dragging me into the bathroom to look at the bump. He lets loose with another string of curses before sitting me gently on the side of his bed. He runs into the kitchen and returns with an ice pack. After a few moments, I remove the pack, handing it back to him. “I think that’s good. Let’s go back to bed.” I yawn on cue and he gives me a soft smile, setting the ice down and tucking me into bed. When he leaves the room, I assume he’s just going to throw the ice away. When he doesn’t return, I realize he’s not coming back. I get out of bed and walk quietly toward the living room. The lamp is still on, and I see Lucian’s sleeping figure once again on the couch. On the table beside him is an empty glass with a bottle of scotch next to it. I ponder joining him, but I realize he is afraid to sleep with me again. Finding out he had indirectly hurt me tonight has shaken him. I back away; I loathe leaving him, but I’m giving him what he needs right now…space to breathe.
Chapter Twelve
Lia
There has been little time to think in the last week with both Lucian and I battling the flu. When he and Sam dropped me at home this morning, it had suddenly hit me; my court date is coming up, and I had completely forgotten it. The happy bubble I have been existing in is effectively pierced.
It’s obvious this morning that Lucian was still troubled by what had happened during the night. He checked the bump on my head again, and I assured him it didn’t hurt. I wanted to ask him about the dream, but I didn’t know how. The sound of him choking was bad enough, but his words last night had been even worse. He sounded so scared, so horrified; I knew these weren’t just random dreams. How long had this been going on? I can’t imagine waking up like that every night. I have had nightmares about my stepfather on and off, but nothing of that magnitude. He had given me a brief kiss and told me he would call when I stepped from the car earlier. I wanted to act like a teenager and demand to know when, but I just smiled instead and waved at him through the glass as the car pulled away. I felt a childish urge to cry and had no idea why.