"No." For a moment there was nothing else, only silence. He's probably sitting there and trying to decide which name to call you first.
When Goldman spoke again, his voice was strained. He seemed to be pushing the words out against some great inner resistance. "It's you I want to talk to. Dory wanted me to call and apologize for my... for my behavior. I guess... Louis, I guess I wanted to apologize too."
Why, Irwin! How big of you! My God, I think I just wet my pants!
"You don't need to apologize," Louis said. His voice was dry and mechanical.
"What I did was inexcusable," Goldman said. Now he did not just seem to be pushing the words out; he seemed to be coughing them out. "You suggesting that Rachel and Eileen come out has made me see what a big man you have been about this... and how small I have been."
There was something very familiar in this rap, something eerily familiar. Then he got it, and his mouth suddenly pulled together in a tight pucker, as if he had bitten straight through a plump yellow lemon. Rachel's way-she was completely unaware of it, Louis was sure-of saying contritely, Louis, I'm sorry I was such a bitch, after her bitchiness had gotten her her own way about something she really wanted. Here was that voice-robbed of Rachel's liveliness and merriness, true-but that same voice saying, I'm sorry 1 was such a bastard, Louis.
The old man was getting his daughter and granddaughter back; they were running home from Maine to Daddy. Courtesy of Delta and United, they were coming back to where they belonged, back to where Irwin Goldman wanted them. Now he could afford to be magnanimous. As far as old Irwin knew, he had won. So let's just forget that I took a swing at you over your dead son's body, Louis, or that I kicked you when you were down, or that I knocked his coffin off its bier and snapped the latch so you could see-or think you saw-that one last flash of your child's hand. Let's forget all of that. Let bygones be bygones.
Terrible as it may be, Irwin, you old prick, I'd wish for you to drop dead right this second, if it wouldn't screw up my plans.
"That's all right, Mr. Goldman," he said evenly. "It was. well... an emotional day for all of us."
"It was not all right," he persisted, and Louis realized-although he did not want to-that Goldman was not just being political, was not just saying that he was sorry he had been such a bastard now that he was getting his own way. The man was nearly weeping, and he was speaking with a slow and trembling urgency.
"It was a terrible day for all of us. Thanks to me.
Thanks to a stupid, bullheaded old man. I hurt my daughter when she needed my help... I hurt you, and maybe you needed my help too, Louis. That you do this... behave this way after I behaved that way... it makes me feel like garbage. And I think that is just the way I should feel."
Oh let him stop this, let him stop before 1 start to scream at him and blow the whole deal.
"Rachel's probably told you, Louis, we had another daughter-"
"Zelda," Louis said. "Yes, she told me about Zelda."
"It was difficult," Goldman said in that trembling voice. "Difficult for all of us. Most difficult for Rachel, perhaps-Rachel was there when Zelda died-but difficult for Dory and me too. Dory almost had a breakdown-"
What do you think Rachel had? Louis wanted to shout. Do you think a kid can't have a nervous breakdown? Twenty years later she's still jumping at death's shadow. And now this happens. This miserable, awful thing. It's a minor miracle that she isn't in the f**king hospital, being fed through an I. V. tube. So don't talk to me about how difficult it was for you and your wife, you bastard.
"Ever since Zelda died, we have... I suppose we have clung to Rachel...
always wanting to protect her... and to make it up to her. Make up for the problems she had with her... her back... for years afterward. Make up for not being there."
Yes, the old man was really crying. Why did he have to be crying? It made it harder for Louis to hold on to his clean, pure hate. More difficult, but not impossible. He deliberately called up the image of Goldman reaching into the pocket of his smoking jacket for his overflowing checkbook... but he suddenly saw Zelda Goldman in the background, an unquiet ghost in a stinking bed, her cheesy face full of spite and agony, her hands pulled into claws. The Goldman ghost. Oz the Gweat and Tewwible.
"Please," he said. "Please, Mr. Goldman. Irwin. No more. Let's not make things any worse than they have to be, okay?"
"I believe now that you are a good man and that I misjudged you, Louis. Oh, listen, I know what you think. Am I that stupid? No. Stupid, but not that stupid. You think I'm saying all of this because now I can, you're thinking oh yeah, he's getting what he wants and once he tried to buy me off, but... but Louis, I swear... " "No more," Louis said gently. "I can't... I really can't take any more." Now his voice was trembling as well. "Okay?"
"All right," Goldman said and sighed. Louis thought it was a sigh of relief.