Montana’s eyes filled with tears. “No. She was doing better. I saw her yesterday. She was laughing.”
He didn’t want to talk about this, didn’t want to be with anyone. Especially not with someone who claimed to love him. He didn’t want her to carry ugly images in her head.
“I have to go.”
He knew he should say something else, but there weren’t any words. Just the pressing need to be anywhere but here.
He turned and walked toward the stairs. He opened the door and raced down. When he found himself outside, he drew in deep breaths, but they didn’t help. Nothing helped.
Without thinking he pulled out his cell phone and pushed the speed dial. Seconds later a familiar voice said, “You’re up late.”
“Alistair.”
His friend’s voice changed from joking to serious. “What’s wrong?”
“I lost a patient. A child.”
Alistair swore. “I’m sorry. It wasn’t your fault.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Yes, I do. Simon, you’re the best.”
Maybe, but tonight, it wasn’t enough. “Do you ever want…”
“To walk away?” His friend paused. “Sometimes it gets to me. The pain, the suffering. But someone has to help and, frankly, who better?”
“Do you ever want something more? A life?”
“I had one.”
Simon winced. Alistair’s beautiful wife and baby girl had been killed in a car accident three years ago. A month later, Alistair had joined Simon in Africa. As far as Simon knew, the other man had never been back to London.
“Sorry,” he said. “I shouldn’t have asked that.”
“It was a long time ago.”
“Not long enough.” Simon knew he would remember gentle Kalinda forever. What would it be like to lose his own child? Or to have one in the first place?
“You go on,” Alistair told him. “Keep putting one foot in front of the other. You asked me once if it was worth it. Loving them and losing them. Was it worth it to help your patient?”
“Of course.”
“Then that’s your answer.”
MONTANA BRUSHED AWAY the tears. In her arms, Cece looked at her, as if aware something was wrong.
“She’s gone,” she repeated, knowing the words wouldn’t make any sense to the little dog. Not that they made any sense to her, either. Kalinda’s death seemed unnecessary and arbitrary. What had gone wrong?
She stared at the door to the stairs, wondering if she should follow Simon. After a couple of seconds, she turned the other way. Telling him she loved him wouldn’t have helped him feel any better. If she went after him, he might think she was pressuring him or trying to prove herself. He’d found her before—if he needed her, he would find her again.
For a second she wondered if she’d been wrong to tell him the truth. If knowing she loved him would make things more difficult. Then she shook her head. No. She wouldn’t go there. Loving someone was a gift. It’s not like she’d asked for anything or tried to manipulate him. Simon could be freaked out or not—that was his decision. For her part, she was proud that she had put herself out there. What he did with the information was up to him.
She walked toward Kalinda’s room. She wanted to see Fay, to say how wonderful her daughter had been. Whatever they needed, the town would provide. Montana would help as best she could, even if that meant simply getting them a room for the night.
But as she approached the girl’s room, she didn’t hear crying. Instead there were voices—happy voices. Not just from Kalinda’s parents, but from the staff.
Montana hurried forward.
The door was open and she saw Fay and her husband standing on either side of Kalinda’s bed, smiling, wiping away tears and holding hands across their daughter. Fay looked up and saw her.
“She’s okay,” she whispered, smiling broadly. “She’s okay. Her heartbeat is getting stronger. The crisis passed.”
Montana felt weak with relief. Her own eyes filled with happy tears.
“I’m so glad. This has been difficult for all of you.”
“We’ll get through it,” Kalinda’s father said, never taking his gaze from his little girl.
Fay’s eyes moved over her. “Look how you’re dressed. Were you at a party?”
Montana nodded. “I was with Simon when he got the message. He came right here. I didn’t know what to do, so I got Cece. Has someone told Simon she’s all right?”
“One of the nurses is taking care of that.”
Fay walked across the room and hugged her, squeezing the dog between them. Cece wagged her tail and licked them both on the chin.
“Thank you for all you’ve done for her.”
“I want to help. Do you think a little poodle company would help right now?”
“I think it would be perfect,” Fay told her.