I continued until I reached the place where I had run into Zoey myself a few months back. Dropping the note lightly on top of the snow, I shifted back into human form.
Making the change so soon after becoming wolf was incredibly difficult for brand new Weres. For me, it consisted of little more than some muscle cramps and bone aches that would soon diminish.
Picking up the note, I glanced around for a good spot to secure it. I chose a tree with some limbs low to the ground. With a twig, I poked a small hole in the note in order to slide it fully onto the lowest skinny branch I could find. It was easier said than done. I needed it to be at eye height for a wolf. Of course, that was if she even found it. Even if she did, I had no way of knowing what kind of state she was in mentally. Hopefully, she would still understand it.
When I was sure that it was as safe and secure as I could possibly make it, I shifted back into wolf and made my way back to Ky's house. I instantly wished Shaz were with me. Being out beneath the stars with my white wolf at my side was something I really needed right then. As it was, being out there all alone made me feel very small and insignificant.
I felt a strong sense of relief upon re-entering Kylarai's backyard. It had been quite some time since I'd truly felt lonely, but in that moment, I felt it stronger than ever.
It ate at me that I had no idea what Arys was up to or where he was. The side of me that was hurt and saddened wanted nothing more than to seek him out. The night was fading away, and I knew it wouldn't be worth it to start searching for him now. Where would I even begin?
It bothered me much more than I cared to admit. I felt like nothing was in my control. It never had been.
As far as I knew, Shaz was heading to his own place after work unless I asked him to come over. It was tempting, but I felt like some time alone may be best. I needed to organize my thoughts and decide what to do about everything I was facing.
All I really wanted to do was go home and crawl into bed though I wasn't sure that sleep would ever come. I hadn't had the slightest hint of regret regarding my decision to blood bond myself to Arys. Now, I wasn't so sure.
Chapter Eleven
It was noon when I first ventured up the stairs from my basement bedroom. After returning home from Kylarai's, I'd tossed and turned fitfully until I finally gave up on sleep and read a book all night. It did little to quiet the insanity running laps inside my mind.
The first blast of sunshine through the living room window burned my eyes. They instantly began to water, and I blinked furiously. It stung like a bitch. The touch of the sun caused my skin to tingle almost painfully.
I stumbled into the bathroom, nearly blind from the tears running from my eyes. I closed the door and turned on the light. It was like instant relief from the agony of the sun. I wasn't a vampire, not yet anyway. This was totally unfair.
I wiped my eyes with my hands, not at all surprised to see that my tears were tinged red. They'd been bloodier than this though. Washing my face with cool water, I waited until the pain in my head subsided. The burning of my eyes had caused an instant headache.
My hands shook as I splashed the cold water on my face, and I felt faint. I focused on taking deep breaths. It had been a while since I'd felt this bad. In fact, even when Arys and I had first bonded our power, the results didn't make me feel this bad. My stomach cramped and rolled. For a moment, I thought I was going to be sick. It had to have something to do with him shutting me out. I was sure it was his absence causing the strong vampire reaction in me. I hated it.
Leaving the bathroom was just as painful. Squeezing my eyes shut against the bright light, I rushed back down the stairs into the sanctity of my bedroom. I didn't come up again until the sun had descended in the sky.
After a brief phone call with Shaz, I got ready to leave the house. I had one destination in mind. Good or bad, I didn't care. I was going to The Wicked Kiss. I wanted to see if Harley knew of Arys' whereabouts. If not, maybe he could help me pinpoint it.
This disappearing act of his was getting old fast. I was more than over it.
Dressed in a long black skirt that flowed softly around my legs and a deep red corset of the softest velvet, I looked much better than I felt. I wore smoky gray eyeliner and blush to mask the paleness of my skin. It didn't work, but it was an attempt. Using bobby pins, I secured my hair up with several loose tendrils falling down my back. I figured if I didn't find Arys tonight, then at least I knew he was missing out.
I didn't tell anyone where I was going, not even Shaz. I didn't want him to worry.
Instead, I left him a note in case he stopped by after work and found that I wasn't home.