Oh God, the thought is horrid. Let's go.”
Our conversation was light and casual as we drove, but I knew the calm illusion would shatter when I was alone with my thoughts again. Shaz would no doubt be curled up in my bed when I got home. Though I wasn't looking forward to repeating my tale of woe, I couldn't wait to wrap myself around him.
As much as I adored Kale, I was glad when I was finally back inside the safe, secure confines of my own vehicle. I had spent the entire night with one vampire after another, and it had been damn exhausting in every possible way. I ached for Shaz' heavenly scent of pine and wolf, needing to reacquaint myself with the power of the earth.
The power of the undead may live within me, but I was alive. Perhaps it was time that I stop letting the current of life sweep me along and really start living.
Chapter Nine
“There is no way that I'm not smashing that guy right in the face when I see him.”
There was a spark of fury in Shaz' jade green eyes. He'd been ranting and raving about Arys since I filled him in on the details of the night before.
He'd been sound asleep in my bed when I got home at the crack of dawn that morning. All I wanted to do was slip in between the sheets with him and slumber. We'd woken some time after noon, and over coffee, I told him everything about my visit to Harley and the resulting run in with Arys.
I sighed and gave my head a shake. I smiled though. I loved that he wanted to protect me. However, I did not want to see Shaz and Arys come to blows again. There's no way it would end as well as it had the first time.
“I love hearing you say that,” I laughed softly. “But, I also know that Arys is really hurting. He's so confused. And, I can't help but feel like a super bitch. If I were him, I wouldn't want me anywhere near Harley, either.”
“You deserve answers, Lex. I don't love the idea of you walking right into a potential trap either, but I trust your judgment. And, I love you. I want you to be able to master the things inside you before they take over who you are.” He tossed a sincere look my way as he moved about my bedroom, getting ready for work.
My heart dropped, and I was reminded that the bond between Arys and I had a direct impact on Shaz, too. He was the calm, cool and collected type. He preferred to approach things with an open mind and realistic attitude. Because he didn't give in to emotional outbursts the way Arys and I were both prone to doing, it was easy to miss how deeply it all affected him. He just didn't show it the same way.
I stretched out in my bed, watching appreciatively as he strode around the room in all of his fine, naked glory. Shaz was my stronghold in life. I heavily relied on him to keep me grounded, to touch the wolf inside me and draw me away from the darkness. Did he know that it was only because of him that I was still sane?
“You're the only thing that keeps me here, you know? I would have been lost long ago without you.” I gazed up at him from where I lay, wanting him to see the truth in my eyes. “I'd actually probably be dead without you.” I chuckled at that. It was sadly true.
Shaz raised an eyebrow. He held a pair of jeans forgotten in one hand. “Where did that come from?”
“Nowhere,” I shrugged and hugged my pillow. “I just wanted you to know. You're always so steady and strong. I know that I wouldn't be the same person that I am now without you.”
“You don't give yourself enough credit.” He slid his muscular legs into his jeans and came to sit next to me on the bed. “You're stronger than you think you are. I just help you to remember that, but it's all you.”
“No way,” I said, sitting up straighter in the bed. “Don't sell yourself short, babe. My strength has many sources, and you are one of them.”
He leaned in to nuzzle me gently before capturing my lips for a breath-taking kiss.
Why did he have to work a night job? I just wanted to drag him back into bed with me.
“Likewise,” he whispered against my lips. “Being with you has made me realize many things about myself. Like how strong I can be when the woman I love needs me. I'd do anything for you, Lex.”
“Like skip work?” I teased.
“Except that.” He kissed the tip of my nose, an affectionate gesture that made me giggle. “I do have news for you though. I told them I won't be working full time at Lucy's Lounge anymore. I'm going part time.”
“Really? What brought that on?”
“Well…you mostly. I'm sick of spending all of my nights trapped behind the bar while you're out there dealing with what’s actually important. We need more time together, as humans and as wolves.” He got up to fetch a Lucy's Lounge staff t-shirt from the bottom drawer of my dresser as the wheels in my brain began to turn.