His hard gaze didn't waver. He wouldn't budge. “I had no link to the human world before you. You touched a side of me that I didn't know still existed. That is why you have to stay away from Harley. The thought of him even laying eyes on you is enough to make me want to tear his limbs off. The idea that you're even willing to be in the same room with him, much less negotiate with him, kills me. He's going to warp your mind.
And, then you won't be mine anymore.”
Arys' pain was sharp with negativity. It crawled around inside me until I was consumed with the pain he felt. I hadn't known it was so strong. His fear of losing me was heavy within him. How could I not have known? This was more than territorial Arys being his vampire self. This was the man inside him struggling to come to terms with his feelings. Clearly, he hated it.
I boldly took another step toward him, and this time he didn't move away. “I will always be yours. Do not ever think otherwise. I am a part of you. Literally. You can't just undo that. And even if I could, I wouldn't.”
I wanted to kiss him, but I was afraid he would push me away. My ego couldn't take a blow like that. I stared into his amazing midnight eyes and searched for a sign, something that indicated that we were going to be ok. The sick sensation engulfing me felt like a warning, an assurance that this chaos wasn't over.
Arys was silent, and I waited, allowing him a moment to process his thoughts. Now more than ever, I was tempted to touch his mind, to get inside him. I didn't.
The silence was killing me. It was tough not to break it, to say anything just to be saying something. The sound of vehicles passing by on the street nearby and the occasional loud voice from a neighborhood bar filled the quiet. Clenching his fists, Arys paced around the parking lot. At last, he stopped in front of me and spoke.
“I just don't understand how someone so strong and unrelenting can do an about face like this. You persecuted Raoul, your own pack Alpha, when you didn't know for certain if he was a murderer or not. Now, just like that, you can walk back into The Wicked Kiss and expect to learn something from Harley. That is beyond f**ked up.”
I hated that he was right. Still, I didn't entirely see it the same way that he did. “It's not fair to bring up Raoul. That was completely different.”
“Oh, because he's your past?” Arys sneered. “Fancy that. It's ok for you and not ok for me. Don't be a hypocrite, Lex. It's not like you. Don't tell me that Harley's getting to you already.”
I let out a frustrated little shriek. It was getting more difficult to resist pulling my own hair out. “Ok, you win! Is that what you want to hear? I am wrong and you, all knowing vampire extraordinaire, are right.”
“Goddamn it woman, why can't you see the reality here? You heard Harley. He wants you for himself. Where do you think I fit into that?”
I didn't want to do this anymore. It was breaking me down. I didn't do well with this kind of conflict. Give me something that I could kill, no problem. Put a man I loved raging in front of me, and I was all kinds of broken.
“He's nothing to me. You know that, Arys. Why are you so unwilling to give me the same understanding that you're asking for?” I pleaded, feeling like I was split in two. I wanted to stop the argument by letting it go and leaving it alone, but the stubborn side of me couldn't let him think he was one hundred percent right. I had valid feelings, too.
“I forget that you're so young. Naïve.” He emphasized the last word, and I knew it was just to enrage me. “You forget what we really are, Harley and I. You shouldn't.”
“Bullshit,” I spat the word at him. “Whatever you are, I am, too. Only I'm the one stuck in a living body, unable to grasp how it all works. Forget it.”
I stalked away, headed for my car. He grabbed my arm and whirled me around before I could reach for the door handle. Every time his hands were on me, I was enveloped in the swirl of our combined power. I hungered for him, his blood and his pain, along with his pleasure. I couldn't keep feeding the fire between us without leaping into the flames.
Arys pulled me close, pressing his forehead to mine. “Do you forget that you almost killed him? Is that passion for his death dead inside you?”
I shook my head from side to side, unable to speak for a moment as I choked on a sob. “You stopped me. You still love him, and you stopped me. So, don't you dare do this to me.”
I reached for him, my hands caressing his face. Tears pricked the back of my eyes, hot and potent. I blinked them back, unwilling to let them fall. When he kissed me, it was bruising and rough, leaving my lips swollen. I still hungered for more of him. Just having his hands on me was enough to undo my solid resolve.
“So I did.” His words came out on a whisper. “If only I could turn back time.”
“You wouldn't have done it any other way, Arys, and you know it. You love us both, and it kills you because you can't have us both.”
“That's not what this is about.” He pulled back before I could lose myself in him.
Why was he doing this to me? It was beyond torturous. “I don't want him. Those days are long over.”