Nevada shrugged. “You’re better off without him.”
“No, I’m not.” The unfair assessment startled her. “There’s nothing wrong with Sasha following his dream. Should he have finished college? Maybe. But he can go back later. It’s not going anywhere. As for Aurelia, she’s nine years older than Stephen, as you very well know. She’s sweet and they’re great together. Stephen is going back to college. He’s studying engineering, something you can relate to.”
She felt herself getting angry. “Where do you get off being so judgmental? Finn is a good man. He’s proven that over and over again. I don’t regret our relationship and I sure as hell don’t need you making unfounded comments about him and his brothers.”
Nevada picked up her drink and smiled. “Just checking.”
“Checking what?”
“To see if you’re still in there.”
Dakota opened her mouth, then closed it. “What does that mean?”
“You’re too accepting of this,” Montana said, leaning toward her. “You can’t be happy Finn left, but you’re all Zen about it. What’s up with that? Why didn’t you fight for what you wanted?”
“Fight? I can’t force him to want to be with me.”
“No, but there’s a whole ocean between doing nothing and forcing him.”
Nevada nodded. “Come on. When you wanted to get into that special grad program so you could get your masters and Ph.D. at the same time, did you just put in your application and wait? No. You pestered the department chair until he nearly put a restraining order out on you. When you needed a classroom of kids for your thesis research, you knocked on teachers’ doors for weeks until you found exactly what you were looking for, then you got her to agree.”
“When you found out you couldn’t have kids without help,” Montana added, “you put in your application for adoption, went through all the studies and home visits and adopted a kid. You do things, Dakota. You’re quiet about it and you don’t expect people to notice, but we do. You’ve always gotten things done. So why are you being so passive now?”
She felt both praised and scolded. “I’m not being passive. I’m giving Finn time to come to terms with what he wants to do.”
“What about what you want?” Nevada asked. “Isn’t that important?”
“Sure, but…”
“There are no buts,” Montana reminded her. “Remember what Yoda said? ‘Do or do not. There is no try.’”
“You can sit on your butt and wait for him to decide,” Nevada said. “Or you can take control of your destiny. I know you’re scared.”
“I’m not scared.”
They both stared at her, eyebrows raised in identical expressions of disbelief.
She sighed. “I’m a little scared,” she admitted. Confronting Finn did mean taking charge of her life, but it also meant facing the fact that he might tell her he just plain wasn’t interested. That she wasn’t for him.
She didn’t think he was going to walk away from his child. It might take him a while, but eventually he would show up and want to be a part of his or her life. Finn would be a great father, but was he interested in being a husband?
“I thought the people on the show were stupid,” she said slowly. “I thought they were desperate and that I should feel sorry for them. But they were simply looking to fall in love. Something nearly everyone wants. At least they did something about it. What have I done?”
She half expected her sisters to defend her, but they were both silent. Talk about truth in communication, she thought, both bemused and a little hurt. Then she reminded herself that it didn’t matter what anyone thought but her and Finn. They were the ones this was all about.
She knew what she wanted. She wanted a happily-ever-after kind of ending with the man she loved. She wanted to marry him and raise children with him. She wanted a house full of kids and dogs, with a cat or two and carpooling and soccer practice. She wanted a little of what her parents had, with a twist that made it all their own.
But what did Finn want? She knew that eventually he would figure it out and tell her. But was giving him the time he needed being mature or being afraid?
He’d heard her say that she loved him and that she was pregnant, but she’d never had the chance to tell him the rest of it. About how she saw their future and that being responsible wasn’t all bad. There were many wonderful rewards.
“I’m not going to wait,” she said as she slid out of the booth. “I’m going to South Salmon to talk to him.”
“There’s an Alaska Airlines flight out of Sacramento at six in the morning,” Nevada told her. “You connect with the flight to Anchorage in Seattle.” She pulled a piece of paper out of her pocket and handed it over. “I made a reservation earlier. You can pay for it when you get to the airport.”
Dakota couldn’t believe it. “You planned this?”