“Good for you. This is excellent news. I’ve always thought siblings should be close in age. Harder for the parents, but better for the children.” Dr. Galloway wrote on a pad. “What about the father?”
“I have no idea what he’ll think,” Dakota said honestly, wondering if the swirling she felt in her stomach was nerves, panic or hormones. “Finn isn’t looking to get involved seriously or to take on more responsibility.” He’d nearly gotten his brothers on their way. A baby would completely freak him out.
“Men often talk that way, but when faced with a child of their own, they come around. You’re going to tell him, I hope?”
“Yes.” Eventually. First she had to be able to grasp the information.
Even now, sitting in her doctor’s office, naked from the waist down after peeing on a stick and having a pelvic exam, the information wasn’t real to her. She could say the word pregnant, but she couldn’t feel it in her heart.
Dr. Galloway opened a drawer and pulled out several brochures. “Some information to get you started. Pick up some sample prenatal vitamins and a prescription for more on your way out.” She rose. “You’re a healthy young woman. The problem was never about your carrying the baby. Now that you’ve conceived, we’ll do everything we can to make sure you have an uneventful pregnancy. Enjoy your blessing, Dakota.”
“I will.”
Dakota waited until the doctor had left to stand and then reached for her clothes. She set the paperwork on the exam table and drew on her bikini briefs. As she picked up her jeans, her gaze fell on a drawing of a pregnant woman. The side view showed a sketch of how the near-term baby was positioned inside of her.
As she studied the simple picture, she touched her own still-flat belly. Her heart began to beat faster, and her breath caught in her throat.
She was pregnant! After all the pain and heartache, after thinking she was broken and could never be like anyone else, she was pregnant.
She stood in the center of the examining room and laughed, then felt tears burning her eyes.
“Happy tears,” she whispered. “Happy, happy tears.”
She dressed quickly, eager to tell her mother, who was watching Hannah. Denise would be thrilled. Dakota hung on to the happiness, knowing the freak-out at the thought of being a single mom to two small children would hit her any second.
Could she do it? Handle it? Did she have a choice?
There was so much to think about, to consider. She had to go by the airport and…
And what? Tell Finn?
She sank onto the edge of the examining table and shook her head. This wasn’t going to be good news for him, she thought sadly. There was no way he wanted to take on a baby.
Sure, he was good with Hannah and very supportive, but not in a way that meant he was interested in more than a temporary “uncle” relationship. He enjoyed the baby, but being a guy who liked kids did not a father make.
Finn had been clear about what he wanted from the first second they’d met. He’d never tried to convince her he was interested in anything but getting gone. If she wanted more, then she was only fooling herself.
Thinking that made her remember the name of the show. True Love or Fool’s Gold.
She knew which she wanted. That was easy. But finding it was more complicated. As for the fool’s gold—an artificial and unsatisfying substitute for the real thing—maybe she’d accepted a little of that, too. Allowing herself to believe there was more between her and Finn than there really was.
He was a great guy, and she knew she was in danger of losing her heart to him. But she also knew he’d been honest with her, and that, when he said he didn’t want to stay, he meant it. Which left her in an uncomfortable dilemma.
How and when did she tell Finn she was pregnant?
She didn’t think he would believe she’d lied about her condition to trick him, at least not when he’d had a chance to think about it. But she wouldn’t be surprised if he went there at first, so she had to be prepared.
There was also the issue of coparenting. Did he want to? If so, how would they manage? Would he fly in from South Salmon? What about the winter, when the small town was practically cut off from the world? What would happen later if one or both of them fell in love with someone else? It wasn’t anything she could imagine for herself, but Finn was the kind of man nearly every woman would want.
Too many questions, she told herself as she stood and picked up her purse. She took a cleansing breath. They didn’t all have to be answered today. She was about six weeks pregnant. That meant she had months and months before any decisions had to be made. She could take her time and figure out the best way to tell Finn what had happened. As for his part in raising their baby—if she had to do it alone, she would. She might not have a life partner, but she had family and a town, and they both loved her.
Sensible words, she thought as she walked toward the reception desk to pick up her samples and prescription. Words that should have made her feel better and stronger. Instead there was an emptiness inside, a sense of longing for the very thing she couldn’t have.