CHAPTER NINE
“YOU’VE GOT TO GIVE ME something to work with,” Karen said. “I think you’re a cute couple with a lot of potential, but there’s nothing there. No fights, no kissing and certainly no making up. There’s nothing interesting to film. You know how Geoff is. You two came in second to last on the voting. That means you’re at risk of being voted off.”
“Do we have to come in last before we’re let go?” Stephen asked. “Is that decision based on numbers or does Geoff make it?”
Karen sighed. “Technically you have to go if you come in last on the viewer voting. My point is, if you want to stay on the show, you have to give us something. Otherwise you’re gonna be gone.”
“Thanks for letting us know,” Aurelia said.
She was doing her best to accept the information in the spirit in which it was given. But it was very difficult not to feel even more romantically inept than usual. Here she was, failing at a fake relationship. If she couldn’t make this work, when it wasn’t even real, how was she supposed to ever find a man and fall in love?
“I think you two like each other,” Karen said. “Maybe you should think about that and stop worrying about the cameras.”
Aurelia nodded. She knew that a lot of the couples had no trouble being around the cameras. But she was always aware of them, afraid of how she looked. Afraid of what people would say. After the show first aired, her mother called with her critique. It was not kind. She didn’t like her daughter’s clothes, or her hair or what she said. She also didn’t like how young Stephen was but agreed there was nothing to be done about it. It wasn’t as if Aurelia had picked him.
The only bright spot was the fact that Aurelia wasn’t expected to visit her mother as much.
“I need to get back to the office,” Karen said. “Please don’t say anything. I’m not supposed to tell you, but I wanted to.”
“We won’t say anything,” Stephen promised. “We’ll do better next time.”
Aurelia waited until the production assistant had left, then turned to him. “I guess we’re done,” she said. “The twin factor helped us the first couple of weeks, but the thrill is probably wearing off.”
Or it was her. A conversation she didn’t want to have with Stephen.
They were sitting on the grass in the large park in the center of town. The live portion of the show had been the previous night, and now they were on their own for a couple of days. For Aurelia, that meant going back to work. Show or no show, she still had clients.
“I’m not ready for this to be over,” Stephen told her. “Do you want to be finished with the show?”
“No, but we’re not like your brother and Lani. Do you want to play with Fire Poi to get more votes?”
“I would prefer to get out of the show unscarred,” he said with a grin. “But we could do something.”
“What I should do is grow a spine,” she murmured. “Stand up to my mother. I’m a lot more afraid of her than I am of Geoff.”
Stephen sat across from her. His blue eyes darkened with concern. “Why does she scare you?”
“Scared isn’t exactly the right word. When I’m with her, I feel bad about myself. I feel guilty. Like I’m always doing something wrong. When I was a kid, it was just the two of us. We felt like a team. We did everything together. But then something changed. I’m not sure exactly when, but one day there were expectations. Rather than going off with my friends, I was supposed to come home and hang out with her. In high school, I didn’t date. Some of it was me. I was bookish and not very pretty. Some of it was her, though. When I did get asked out, she always had a dozen reasons as to why I couldn’t go.”
“Because she wanted to keep you for herself?”
Aurelia hesitated. “I’m not sure. Although she’s always complaining I’m not married or giving her grandchildren, I’m not sure she would be happy if I was. She has a sense of entitlement. She believes that it’s my responsibility to take care of her.”
“Is she sick?”
“No. She works, but she expects me to pay most of her expenses. It’s as if I only exist to serve her. She doesn’t like that I have a life. And somehow I’ve let that be okay. She talks about all the things she did for me and tells me over and over again that I should be grateful. I am. It’s just, when do I get to have a life of my own?”
Stephen leaned toward her and took her hands in his. “Now,” he said softly. “You get to have a life now. The longer you let her do this to you, the harder it’s going to be to break away. Don’t you want more?”
What she wanted was someone to look at her the way he was looking at her now. With caring and concern. With an intensity that made her fingers tremble.