CHAPTER NINETEEN
The rest of the day passed by in radical shifts. I was drugged and under for periods of time. Then I’d awake, squirming in the bed, almost rising above it, kept in place only by the ropes that kept me down. I was out of control, then in control, then out of control, then in control. The thing and I switched on and off but I didn’t get to cal the shots. I could only get him/her/it to leave when I concentrated hard enough. But it drained me and I’d fal back asleep again.
People came and went. Time slowed down. My mother came in and sat beside me for awhile. She couldn’t look me in the eyes. I didn’t know if it was because she was ashamed or hurt or because my eyes now belonged to someone else. She said, “This doesn’t get easier,” and patted my arm.
I never got any more out of it. My dad was even briefer. I could see the guilt in his face was eating him alive. I should have been happy about that, but it just made me feel sad.
Maximus offered to spoon feed me dinner. I told him I’d barf on him like Linda Blair in The Excorcist. He didn’t broach the topic of food after that.
But the one person I wanted to see, Ada, had stayed away. I knew she was aching and I knew I must have hurt her terribly when I attacked her. I stil didn’t know exactly what had gone down but I knew it must have been traumatizing to be attacked by your sister, even one as unpredictable as me. Stil , I figured she’d come by and visit.
Tel me something to cheer me up. Talking about fixing me and getting me out of there and how I wouldn’t have to go to a mental institute (because, let’s face it, that’s where I’d be going in the long run). But it would have just been talk anyway. She wouldn’t be able to help me. And that’s why she was staying away. It hurt too much to see me like this.
But it would hurt me less if I could see her.
I sighed and closed my eyes. It was night and stil raining steadily. Cold seeped in through the windows and sat thickly in the air. I had heard my parents talking earlier about how cold it was in the room, that the thermostat must be broken. They were so oblivious, I swear.
“How are you feeling?” Maximus asked.
He was back in the room with me, sitting at the desk and using my computer. He turned in his seat, watching me.
“How do you think I’m feeling?”
“Do you feel like kil ing anyone?”
“Aside from you?”
He got up and came over to me, towering high and mighty, his red coif almost reaching the ceiling.
“Are you scared?” he asked.
I shot him a testy look. “What do you think? I’m tied to my f*cking bed.”
“It’s for your own safety. And everyone else’s. If we were to let you loose...”
“Loose? I’m not a f*cking animal.”
“Part of you is. You know it.”
I did know it. I knew why I was tied down. I knew, and I was almost grateful because it meant I couldn’t hurt the ones I loved. I knew the minute I was free that’s exactly what the thing would make me do.
“Just get through tonight,” he said soothingly. “Things wil turn around tomorrow.”
“And what wil you do when the men in the white coats take me away? What wil you say then? Wil you stil ask me if I’m scared?” My voice started to tremble. I couldn’t help it.
I felt the thing entering part of my head and squatting, waiting for an opportunity. When I was scared, upset, when waiting for an opportunity. When I was scared, upset, when my guard was down, that’s when it would prey on me. I was starting to predict it. I wanted to warn Maximus, to tel him to step away from me. But part of me wanted to hurt him for hurting me and I didn’t know what part.
“Wherever you end up, Perry, it’l be for the best,” he said, as if he knew. “They’l make you new again. The doctors wil help you. They’l treat you. You’l be given medicine and it’l fix you. Those mental institutions have a bad rap, you know that. But they do more good than harm, especial y for people like you. It may be scary at first, but you’l be fixed. You’l be as good as new.”
“Are you sure about that, Max?” someone said.
The voice was shocking in its familiarity, the way it made the arms on my hair stand up. It was low, rich, deep.
And hardened.
Maximus flinched and whipped his head toward the door. His burly frame was blocking my view and I could only crane my neck so far to see who else was in the room.
I saw Ada walk past the foot of the bed, her eyes locked to mine, warning me about something.
Then Maximus, in his most disbelieving drawl, said, “What in God’s name are you doing here?” and moved over just enough so that I could see Dex standing in the doorway.
The room swirled in slow motion. I couldn’t breathe. My eyes widened and froze that way. My body tensed up. My heart lurched around from a mil ion emotions I couldn’t even name.
Dex. My Dex. My Dex who broke up my heart. My Dex was in my bedroom.
He looked older somehow. My mind was barely processing thought but somehow I was able to fixate on the little details of him. Time stood stil .
His shoulders seemed a bit wider and there was a bit more beef to his arms, which poked out of black t-shirt, his damp cargo jacket flung over one forearm. I don’t know why I thought he would have gone skinnier with grief or something. Wishful thinking. His face was different too. The eyebrow ring was gone and he had a thin layer of scruffy facial hair like he only shaved every couple of days. It suited him. His eyes were the same. Deep brown, shiny and a mil ion degrees of intensity.
He wasn’t moving, just standing there. His expression went from surprise to indignation to rage as he looked me over, taking in the sorry sight that I was.
Then he sprang into action. He stormed into the room, his arms gesturing wildly to me, and marched right up to Maximus and got in his face. Or almost his face, since Maximus was tal er.
“What the f*ck is this?” Dex yel ed waving his arms wildly. “What are you doing to her?”
“What the f*ck is this? What the f*ck are you? Why are you here? You shouldn’t be here!” Maximus said right back to him, not backing down.
“You should thank your freckled ass that I’m here,” he shot back, closing the space between them.
“Guys!” Ada yel ed from the other side of me. “It’s OK, I invited him.”
I looked at her incredulously. She mouthed “sorry” to me.
“Why would you do a stupid thing like that?” Maximus said to her across the bed.
“Stupid?” she squawked. “I’m not going to sit back and let you tie my sister to her own bed, pretend you know what the hel is going on with her and then cart her off to a hospital tomorrow when we all know she’s probably not going to be coming back!”
I was touched by my sister’s loyalty and her built-in ferocity. I felt the tears creeping up in my eyes, all too overwhelmed by the situation, what was going to happen to me, and the fact that the man who had broken my soul and made my last few months a living hel , was standing a few feet away from me.
And then I felt that little twitch in my brain, like bugs were crawling in underneath a door. Something was choosing this time, of all times, to take over. I tried to force the blackness out, the suffocating cloak or pure evil. My eyes rolled back in my head and fluttered involuntarily as I concentrated.
“What’s wrong with her?” Dex asked gently, his voice strained. He came closer.
“I’d stay away if I were you, son,” Maximus said, putting his arm out to stop him.
Dex shot him a dirty look and threw his arm off of him.
He stopped right by the bed and crouched down so that his face was at my level. I wanted to look at him but I couldn’t. I had to fight and fight harder because I was losing.
“She’s not well ,” he said absently.
“No shit, Sherlock,” said Maximus.
“Did you notice her eyes are a different color?”
“What are you talking about? No, they aren’t, they’re just dilated.”
Dex shook his head vigorously. “Dilated but the color around them is brown now. Perry’s eyes have always been blue. Like the ocean on an overcast day.”
Ada gasped. “Dex is right.”
I felt him starting to untie the ropes from my arms. This was not the time to do that!
“Dex, don’t do that,” Maximus said for me. “She’s tied up for a reason, not for sport.”
“She’s not a f*cking animal,” he grunted, and kept untying them.
I gave up. The thing was too strong. I wasn’t going to win this time.
I raised my head sharply. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”
He raised his head just as the last knot came undone and our eyes met, burning into each other. “It’s me, Perry.
It’s Dex.”
I smiled an ugly smile, dripping venom.
“Precisely.”
The thing took over completely, more powerful than ever before. It lunged forward, grabbed Dex by his shirt and then flung him like a ragdol clear across the room so he hit the ground beside Ada. She cried out and helped Dex to his feet.
But the thing had me coming. My legs yanked at the ropes and they snapped. I jumped over the back of the bed and landed on Dex just as he was almost upright, my nails going after his eyes and just catching the edges of them, leaving bloody trails. He and Ada flew to the ground, but it was just him that I was going to kil . There was no getting around it. He was what the thing wanted. The thing wanted him dead. And somewhere, deep down inside, I think I did too.
I wrapped my fingers around his throat as I held him down, feeling how easy it was to just squeeze and squeeze until his windpipe broke. His scruffy face turned purple and his eyes were shut hard as he tried to pry my hands off of him. He couldn’t. He was fading fast, unable to breathe. I was actual y going to do this. I was going to kil him and I’d not only see it happen, it was my body that would inflict it.
His eyes flew open, the blood weeping from the scratches, and looked up at me. I felt so much anger from the thing and from myself. But the anger was only there because of the pain. The pain he caused because I let myself fal in love with him. I loved him once. It was a fact I could no longer ignore.
I mustered up all strength I had and pushed against the blackness in front of me. I wouldn’t let this happen. Not on my watch. I pushed and strained and for a second I felt a sense of relief and it was in that second that Maximus grabbed me by the waist and pul ed me off of Dex.
The thing let out a shriek and my legs kicked out as he held me a few feet above the ground.
“Ada, the rope,” he commanded.
She was on the floor kneeling over Dex.
“Leave him, get the rope. Get it now!”
Ada jumped up and snatched the ropes off the bed.
I flailed with my legs trying to get her in the face. I tried to burst out against Maximus’s stronghold but he was clutching my writhing body tight as a vice. For the time being. What would happen if I broke free?
I made another push from inside my mind, another attempt to get back in my rightful place. I imagined being stronger. I imagined being pure of heart. Being good. I imagined love. A big heart beating with love. The love I felt for Ada. Her apparent love for me. I forced that image onto the intruder with all my might.
And the kicking stopped. I fel limp in Maximus’s arms and Ada quickly, but with great hesitation, like I was just fooling and reading to smoke her, started to tie my legs.
“No, onto the bed,” he said, and brought me over to it and lay me down. Ada worked on my legs while Maximus tied up my arms.
Meanwhile, Dex slowly got to his feet, rubbing his throat and staggering a little. He leaned against the bed post and tried to catch his breath, wheezing loudly. His throat was pink and you could see the indents from my fingers.
He was looking at me as if I had just betrayed him. I never wanted to hurt him like this, but what did he expect, just waltzing in here like that? Did he think I was going to welcome him with open arms?
So, I didn’t apologize. Even in the throes of demonic possession, I chose to be stubborn.
When they were done constraining me, Ada touched his arm gently and asked if he wanted ice. He shook his head, his eyes stil focused on mine.
Maximus folded his arms. “I told you so. You’re going to have a heck of a mark on your face there.”
Dex’s eyes flitted to the scabby scratch that stil scarred Maximus’s face.
He coughed. “That how you got yours?”
“She’s feisty.”
Dex grumbled. “I guess we’l match then.”
Maximus chuckled to himself. I didn’t like the sound of that chuckle. It wasn’t humorous.
“Not quite,” he said and winked at Dex.
I didn’t like that either. Ada paused beside me, her hand resting on my arm and we watched them, feeling tension boiling in the room.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Dex asked suspiciously.
>
Oh, God. I had a feeling. It’s a trap! I wanted to yel .
Maximus shrugged and ran his hand through his hair.
“Oh, nothing,” he said, extra laziness in his drawl.
He sauntered to the end of the bed and leaned against the opposite bed post, copying Dex’s pose exactly. He smiled slowly at Dex.
I opened my mouth to say something, anything, but Maximus was fast on the draw.
“I just had no idea she was such a wildcat in the sack.
Oh, it wasn’t like that with you?”
I heard Ada gasp dramatical y beside me. “What?
Maximus!”
Dex didn’t say anything. In fact, it looked like he hadn’t real y heard him properly.
He cocked a black brow. “Excuse me?”
Maximus’s smile grew wider. His white teeth flashed against his tanned face.
“You heard me. She’s a freaky little one. Good thing I kind of like it rough.”
And that’s when it hit me. That sleeping with Maximus was as vengeful on my behalf against Dex, as it was on his.
Maximus stil never got over the whole band thing, the whole girlfriend thing, never stopped having it in for him. We both f*cked each other to get back at Dex.
And that’s when Dex hit Maximus.
His dark eyes flared furiously as he came at him with a dead-on, unforgiving punch to the jaw. It sent Maximus’s jaw back and he went stumbling backward onto my desk and computer, which crashed in the middle beneath his hulking frame.
Ada and I yel ed in unison. Dex was relentless and went after him stil , jumping on him and continuing to throw punches everywhere he could. He was quick, precise and tireless.
Then my parents were in the room, crying out in shock at the scene of scrappy Dex beating on the giant ginger and destroying my room in the process. Meanwhile, their demonic daughter remained tethered to her bed lest she join in on the fun too.
My father grabbed at Dex’s arms, pul ing him back to stop.
“Go help him!” I whispered to Ada.
She ran over to Dex and got in between him and Maximus, pushing him back with her hands.
“Enough!” she cried out. “This isn’t helping Perry! That’s not why you’re here. Remember.”
She put her face close to Dex’s, forcing his raging eyes to look at hers and not at Maximus. He bit his lip, hard, and nodded. He closed his eyes and relaxed and my dad hauled him over to the other side of the room while my mom scurried over to Maximus and helped him up.
“What on earth is going on?” My dad’s voice boomed above all the commotion. He brought out the angry teacher persona plus his Italian bravado. He looked at Dex and gave him a dismissive push back. “Why is he here?”
“Dad!” I yel ed at him. I couldn’t believe my father just shoved him.
“I cal ed him,” Ada explained, and joined Dex by his side. “I thought he could help.”
“You cal ed him of all people?” my dad jabbed his thumb in his direction. Dex straightened up and raised his chin defiantly but my father held his gaze. “After what you did to my daughter, you should be glad I’m merely going to kick you out of my house.”
Dex cocked his head to the side. “How about what you did. Your little daughter there is tied to her own bed. She’s sick and getting sicker by the minute.”
“She’s going to the hospital first thing in the morning.”
Dex was about an inch tal er than my father but seemed so much more when he took a step closer, looking straight at my father with steely eyes.
“If you take her there,” he said, brimming with conviction, “you wil kil her. You have no idea what you are dealing with here.”
My father didn’t move. “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you had a plan.”
Dex glanced at me quickly, then looked back at him, Ada and my mother. “I do have a plan.”
“Wel it’s too bad you can’t stay to tel us about it,” my dad said snidely. He placed his hands on Dex’s shoulders and brusquely directed Dex toward the door.
My breath caught in my throat. Despite the anger, the pain he caused me, he couldn’t leave me. He couldn’t just leave me like this.
Dex stopped by the door, causing my dad to halt abruptly. He eyed Maximus, who was holding his jaw in pain and shooting daggers at him. Then he turned around and smiled sweetly at dad and mom.
“It’s funny that you both don’t remember me,” he said with false disbelief.
My parents shot each other quick, confused looks.
“We’ve met before,” he continued, nodding at them appraisingly. “Back in New York. I was just a young f*ck at the time. I had a deadbeat, alcoholic crazy bitch of a mother and a wonderful nanny. She was a bit loopy too...”
“We don’t know what you’re talking about,” my dad said.
I had no clue what Dex was talking about either. New York?
Since when did my parents live in New York?
But my mom, her face flinched with horrible recognition.
It didn’t last long but I picked up on it and Dex did too. He squinted his eyes at her and smiled, leaning in closer.
“When I turned eighteen, I changed my last name to mother’s name. To honor her death. Guess I was sentimental back then. Before that, my name was Declan O’Shea.”
My dad’s eyes widened. Then he gave Dex another light push against the shoulders and said, “You need to get out of here. Now.”
“Such a rush?” Dex asked, and was wil ingly turned around.
“I have no problems cal ing the cops on you,” my father responded. We all knew he was dying to do it. Maybe get them to take me with them.
He ushered Dex out the door before he could look back at me. My mother and Maximus, with his rapidly swel ing jaw, went after them.
Ada stood in the middle of the room watching the blank spot where they all had just been. Final y, she looked at me with her big eyes. Damn. What the f*ck just happened?
“I’m so sorry, Perry,” she said. “I didn’t want to tel you. I didn’t tel anyone. I just couldn’t let this happen to you. I just thought, of all people, even if you hated him, that Dex could be the one to help.”
“He said he had a plan,” I said slowly. It hurt to talk now, and I was growing more exhausted by the second now that the commotion was over.
“I don’t know what it is. But when I cal ed him and explained, he said he’d take care of everything. He drove straight here. But -”
“He’s Declan O’Shea,” I said softly. My head rolled to the right as she came closer. “Why do mom and dad know him?”
“They said they didn’t,” she said. She peered out the window. “But I think they’re lying.”
“Is he out there?” I asked, unable to look.
“Yeah. Dad’s making crazy gestures. I think he’s yel ing at him.”
She looked down at me. “Liars or not, you can’t expect dad to, like, be happy to see him. After what he did to you.”
“Ada. I don’t want him to go,” I slurred the last part. I was losing consciousness. I didn’t know if it was the after-effects of the pil s or if there was a takeover at hand.
“I don’t either. But he’s going.”
I heard his Highlander start outside and then the sound faded. all my hope went with it. I had Dex for a few minutes and even through all the rage I felt, the hurt and humiliation, seeing him had fil ed me with a resilience I hadn’t felt in a long time. Like I had a fighting chance.
Now, he was gone. I had nothing left but questions.
“When did mom and dad live in New York?” I asked with the last strength I had.
Ada came at sat on the bed. “I don’t know. Maybe when mom was modeling? You need to sleep, Perry. I’l be right here.”
I nodded, then slept.