This was one of the best parts of playing with a sub—lying together, quietly letting the dust settle while he rested in my arms. After an intense scene, demanding things of him while I overwhelmed his senses, we both needed this, and I always loved it.
Tonight, I made sure to be especially affectionate with him—stroking his hair, holding him, caressing his skin—to ward off any aftermath of the hiccup at the club. No matter how much I tried to persuade him that this evening hadn’t been a failure in the sense he thought it was, that I wasn’t angry at him and I didn’t think less of him as a sub, nothing would get that point across like making sure he had what he needed now.
Eventually, he broke the silence. “You really don’t like being called a sadist, do you?”
“Well, you’re not a masochist, are you?”
His lips quirked. “Okay, fair point.”
“I mean, strictly speaking, I suppose I am. But whenever I’ve put it out there that I’m a sadist, I draw a much different crowd of subs than if I say I’m not a sadist. The one crowd wants to be tortured well beyond what’s fun for me, and the other…not so much.”
“That makes sense. And if I’ve called myself a masochist, it’s more or less the same.”
“Labels aside, we seem to be on the same page about what’s enjoyable and how much is too much.” I grimaced. “Even if it still winds up being too much sometimes.”
“It happens.” He put his hand over the top of mine in the middle of my chest. “And I’m not kidding when I say thank you for what you did tonight. That scene could’ve gone south in a hurry, but it didn’t.”
I absently stroked his hair. “There’s no way in hell I was letting you freak out. Not on my watch.”
“I know. Thank you.”
“Maybe tying you completely wasn’t the way we should’ve gone for your first time at a place like that, though.” I rubbed the side of his hand with my thumb. “In which case, I’m sorry. I should’ve taken it slower.”
“No.” He turned toward me. “It’s a learning curve. You’re still learning my limits, and maybe so am I.” He squeezed gently. “To be honest, if I got anything out of tonight, it’s the reinforcement that you’ll err on the side of caution. Maybe it was frustrating for both of us, but it’s good to know.”
I turned my hand over beneath his and laced our fingers together. “I’ll always err on the side of making sure you’re safe. Physically and mentally.”
“I know. I didn’t have any doubt before, but after tonight…” He smiled and leaned in for a brief kiss. Settling back on the pillow, he said, “This evening didn’t exactly go as planned, but in the long run, maybe it’s for the better.”
“I hadn’t thought of it that way.”
He half shrugged. “I didn’t either until after you brought me back to earth and helped me clear my head.” He paused. “And actually, the more I think about how tonight went and how much you did everything right to keep me from freaking out during or crashing after…” His eyes lost focus. “Tomorrow night…”
I ran the backs of my fingers down his arm. “Tomorrow night…?”
He took a breath. Locking eyes with me, he said, “I want to try hot wax.”
My heart skipped, and my hand twitched on his arm. “Seriously?”
He nodded. “I think I’m ready.”
“You think you’re—”
“I know I am.” He raised his eyebrows. “If you’re ready to go there.”
I regarded him silently. Was he ready? Was I ready?
“You know it’s painful, right?”
“Of course.” He grinned. “I heard that sub tonight.”
“True. And you know even if you safe-word and we stop, it won’t stop hurting right away?”
“Absolutely.”
Still, I hesitated, but as I remembered the look on his face while we’d watched the scene tonight, I broke out in goose bumps. Though I was uncertain, the fact remained that if it turned out he wasn’t ready, we could always stop. Tonight had proven we could bounce back after a scene ended abruptly.
Above all, it was what he wanted. And what was the purpose of a Dom if not to be the safe, trusted, responsible partner who existed to give the submissive what he wanted?
“All right.” I kissed his forehead. “Tomorrow night, you’re on.”
Rick just shivered.
Chapter Twenty-Five
When Rick came back the next day, there was no sign of what had happened at the club. His eyes were clear, his smile was as bright as always. Back to normal, by all appearances.
Just to be safe, though…
As I pulled some bottled water from the fridge, I said, “How are you doing as far as last night goes?”
“I was still a bit wired over it when we went to bed, but after I slept on it…” He shrugged. “Amazing what a night of sleep can do for something like that.”
“Good point.” I handed him one of the bottles. “It’s still something to keep in mind, but it sounds like you’re pretty well past it. Isn’t like you were way into subspace and then freaked out.”
He shuddered. “Yeah. And I’m… I mean, it was frustrating at the time, but I’m glad you stopped when you did.”