“Do they know you’re… Are you bi or gay?”
“Bi. And yes, they do.” I laughed softly. “It’s kind of crazy how it played out, actually. I wasn’t going to tell the kids until they were older because I was afraid they wouldn’t understand, or they’d be ostracized by other kids. But then when the twins were about twelve, my younger daughter started behaving horribly. She acted out every chance she got, she was falling behind in school even though she’s ridiculously smart. Her brother and her older sister were doing fine, and we didn’t think it was the divorce since that had happened a long time ago, but she was just…” I shook my head. “We didn’t know what to do, so Karen took her to a counselor. And one day the counselor said Brooke wanted Karen to join her for an appointment. That there was something she needed to talk about.”
Rick sipped his wine but kept his gaze fixed on me.
I went on. “Brooke explained that she’d been depressed and distracted because she’d figured out she was a lesbian, but was scared because a friend of our older daughter’s had been kicked out of his house for being gay. So she was afraid to tell anyone—especially me—and just started acting out because she was angry all the time. All the time.”
“My God.” Rick shuddered. “That poor kid.”
“Seriously. I knew how she felt too.”
“Yeah. Ditto. So what happened?”
“Karen promised her I wouldn’t be upset, and when the three of us sat down to talk, and my daughter was so—” I paused, the memory still choking me up even after all this time. “She was so nervous and scared. This was a kid who didn’t cry for anything, and she was just bawling when she tried to tell me. And I thought, my God, I’ve completely failed these kids if they’re afraid to come to me about this. What kind of parent am I if my kids are genuinely afraid they’ll be kicked out on the street if they come out to me?” I exhaled hard. “Man, you’ve never seen a kid look as shocked as she did when I said, ‘It’s okay. I’m gay too.’” I cleared my throat. “Once she’d calmed down, I explained that I was bisexual, so I understood, and that I’d been afraid to come out at her age for the same reasons, but that she had nothing to be afraid of. And it was like this huge weight came off her shoulders. I mean, you could see it. One conversation, and my kid was back to the way she’d been a year before.”
Rick whistled. “Wow. Poor kid.”
“Yeah, I know. It killed me knowing she’d been bottling that up for so long. So the very next night, we sat down with all three kids and explained to them that I’m bisexual, and what that means. I don’t even know when Brooke came out to them. She might’ve told them before that incident. I really don’t know, but they’ve both accepted that their sister is a lesbian and that I sometimes date men, sometimes date women.”
“Good. Good for them.” He paused. “Do you think you’ll ever get married again?”
“I doubt it. Can’t say it’s worked out all that well for me. I mean, I wouldn’t mind—” I caught myself.
He slid his hand over my thigh. “What?”
I took a breath. “Someday, I wouldn’t mind putting a collar on someone.” I held his gaze. “A long-term Dom/sub relationship. That kind of commitment. But getting married? Probably not.” I paused. “What about you?”
“Don’t know. I’ve never been married, and my last relationship blew up in my face. I’m not opposed to it, I guess. It isn’t like I have as many people to come out to anymore.”
“You’re out?”
“Well, I’m not as firmly closeted as I used to be. Dion has known for years. Everyone else at the company knows. And Mitchell & Forsythe…” He chuckled. “I’m pretty sure Forsythe doesn’t like it, but they all know.”
“How’d they find out?”
“They heard Dion and me talking after my ex left, and I guess they put two and two together.”
“Ah, gotcha. What about your family? Do they know?”
“I’m out to my immediate family. My mom says she’s known since I was four. My brother was kind of surprised but didn’t really care. My dad… He wasn’t thrilled. And my stepmother just about hit the roof.” He rolled his eyes. “She’s never really liked me anyway, so go figure.”
“She didn’t like you? Why not?”
Rick scowled. “She was just obsessed with the idea that I was going to do something to her daughters. My stepsisters were teenagers when I was in my twenties, so apparently that meant I was—” He grimaced. “You get the idea.”
I blinked. “You’re joking.”
“Nope. The fucked-up thing is that it got even worse when I came out, because for whatever reason, being gay meant I was more likely to mess with her daughters.” He threw up his hands. “I…I still can’t even fit that into my skull.”