With a sigh, Gray said, “You know this is just about the baby. I have to find out what’s going on. There is nothing romantic here and never will be.”
Suzy turned in her chair towards the window, trying to will her voice to sound normal. “I know Gray, its ok.” She was relieved when he changed the subject.
“Hey a little birdie told me that someone is having a birthday Friday.”
“Ugh please, don’t say that out loud. I’m not acknowledging them anymore.”
“Oh, yes you are. I’ll be back Friday evening early so I want you to have either your sister or my brother in his mini-van to take you shopping for a new dress because we are going to do the town when I get home. I’m not opposed to something very sexy, Ms. Denton.”
“Is that right Mr. Merimon? Well, I’ll see what I can do.”
“I love you, baby. I’ll call you tonight.”
“I love you, too, Gray.” As Suzy ended the call, she felt the unusual urge to put her head down on her desk and cry. Gray was having dinner with Reva? Well what did you expect; she’s going to have his baby. Did you think they would communicate via email or fax? Get used to it, sister, there’s a new sheriff in town and it’s not you. She mentally flipped off the voice in her head and gathered her purse for lunch. Beth walked in with Ella and they all headed for the elevator to meet Claire.
Beth and Ella walked ahead of them to the restaurant down the street. Suzy and Claire walked at a slower speed due to her crutches and Claire’s pregnancy waddle. She was surprised when Claire said, “I’m just going to throw this out there so you will know. Gray told Jason about the mess with Reva and you know Jason can’t keep a secret from me to save his life.”
“Geez and they say that women are gossips. The men around here seem to keep nothing to themselves do they?”
Claire looked relieved that she didn’t seem upset about Gray telling them. “How are you feeling about everything, my friend? I have to admit, I’d probably be freaking out right now.”
Giving Claire a smile of reassurance that she was far from feeling, Suzy said, “I’m either handling this really well or I’m still in shock and the freak out will come soon. Actually I think I was doing pretty well until Gray called. He’s having dinner with Reva tonight.”
“Oh wow, not what you wanted to hear, right?”
“No, not really, I think I’d managed to pretend it didn’t exist for a while and that just brought it all back home. Claire, you know besides my rather warped sense of humor, I’m a good person, right?”
“Honey, of course you are, one of the best I know. Why would you even need to ask that?”
Suzy hated what she was going to say and she probably wouldn’t have been able to admit it to anyone other than Claire. There wasn’t a judgmental bone in her body and she loved that about her. “If I’m a good person, why do I feel the way I do about Reva and the baby? When I think about Reva I want to choke her. Did you hear me? I’m admitting to wanting to choke a pregnant woman. That’s just wrong isn’t it?”
Claire put her arm around Suzy’s waist and hugged her. “Oh Suzy, I’d probably feel the same way. You and Gray have waited so long to be together and finally you’re right on the verge of having it all and this comes along. I’m not going to kid you, I’d probably be freaking out.”
“Oh I’m freaking out inside. With Gray back in Charleston, I feel kind removed from it all. It’s almost like this happened to someone I know rather than to me.” Suzy braced herself to admit something to Claire that she could hardly admit to herself. “I’m scared Claire, I don’t know if I can do this. When I think about our lives from this point forward if Gray is the father of her child, it terrifies me. We will never have a normal life together. I’ll always be last, Claire, just as I have my whole life.”
Claire noticed that Beth and Ella had stopped at the entrance to the restaurant waiting for them to catch up. She motioned them on inside and turned to her friend. “Suzy, God I wish I had the words of wisdom that you need. I know that you love each other, but only you can decide what you can or can’t do. If going forward it becomes more than you can handle then you will have to know when to say when. Just take it day by day and hopefully you and Gray will be able to find something that works for everyone. That man has loved you since the moment he laid eyes on you and I know he’s going to do everything in his power to make you happy.”
With a sniff, Suzy said, “I really hate this, I feel like a crappy person for thinking of myself right now.”
Giving her a light punch in the arm, Claire said, “Hey that’s my best friend you’re trashing, you better lay off her.”
“Ok pregnant Rambo, calm down before you blow your plug over there.”
Claire threw back her head and laughed. “Rambo, hey I like that.”