But now, stepping into the Camber barn through doors which hung gaping and frozen on their rusty tracks, she felt like a ghost.
She had never felt more like a ghost in her life. The azka moved between her br**sts... on its own now. Something inside. Something alive. She didn't like it, but she liked the idea of what would happen if that thing died even less.
She would do what Mr. Gaunt had told her to do, at least this once, cut all her ties with Alan Pangborn (it had been a mistake to ever begin with him, she saw that now, saw it clearly), and keep her past her own. Why not?
After all, it was such a little thing.
2
The shovel was exactly where he had told her it would be, leaning against one wall in a dusty shaft of sunlight. She took hold of its smooth, worn handle.
Suddenly she seemed to hear a low, purring growl from the deep shadows of the barn, as if the rabid Saint Bernard which had killed Big George Bannerman and caused the death of Tad Trenton were still here, back from the dead and meaner than ever.
Gooseflesh danced up her arms and Polly left the barn in a hurry. The dooryard was not exactly cheery-not with that empty house glaring sullenly at her-but it was better than the barn.
What am I doing here? her mind asked again, woefully, and it was Aunt Evvie's voice that came back: Going ghost. That's what you're doing. You're going ghost.
Polly squeezed her eyes shut. "Stop it!" she whispered fiercely.
"Just stop it!"
That's right, Leland Gaunt said. Besides, what's the big deal?
It's only a harmless little joke. And if something serious were to come of itit won't, o f course, hut just supposing, for the sake of argument, that it did-whose fault would that be?
"Alan's," she whispered. Her eyes rolled nervously in their sockets and her hands clenched and unclenched nervously between her br**sts. "If he were here to talk to... if he hadn't cut himself off from me by snooping around in things that are none of his business...
The little voice tried to speak up again, but Leland Gaunt cut it off before it could say a word.
Right again, Gaunt said. As to what you're doing here, Polly, the answer to that is simple enough: you're Paying. That's what you're doing, and that's all you're doing. Ghosts have nothing to do with it.
And remember this, because it is the simplest, most wonderful aspect of commerce: once an item is paid for, it belongs to you. You didn't expect such a wonderful thing to come cheap, did you? But when you finish paying, it's yours. You have clear title to the thing you have paid for. Now will you stand here listening to those oldfrightened voices all day, or will you do what you came to do?
Polly opened her eyes again. The azka hung movelessly at the end of its chain. If it had moved-and she was no longer sure it had-it had stopped now. The house was just a house, empty too long and showing the inevitable signs of neglect. The windows were not eyes, but simply holes rendered glassless by adventuresome boys with rocks. If she had heard something in the barn-and she was no longer sure she had-it had only been the sound of a board expanding in the unseasonable October heat.
Her parents were dead. Her sweet little boy was dead. And the dog which had ruled this dooryard so terribly and completely for three summer days and nights eleven years ago was dead.
There were no ghosts.
"Not even me," she said, and began to walk around the barn.
3
When you go around to the back of the barn, Mr. Gaunt had said, you'll see the remains of an old trailer. She did; a silver-sided Air-Flow, almost obscured by goldenrod and high tangles of late sunflowers.
You'll see a large flat rock at the left end of the trailer.
I She found it easily. It was as large as a garden paving stone.
Move the rock and dig. About two feet down you'llfind a Crisco can.
She tossed the rock aside and dug. Less than five minutes after she started, the shovel's blade clunked on the can. She discarded the shovel and dug into the loose earth with her fingers, breaking the light webwork of roots with her fingers. A minute later she was holdin the Crisco can. It was rusty but intact. The rotting label 9
came loose and she saw a recipe for Pineapple Surprise Cake on the back (the list of ingredients was mostly obscured by a black blotch of mold), along with a Bisquick coupon that had expired in 1969. She got her fingers under the lid of the can and pried it loose.
The whiff of air that escaped made her wince and draw her head back for a moment. That voice tried one last time to ask what she was doing here, but Polly shut it out.
She looked into the can and saw what Mr. Gaunt had told her she would see: a bundle of Gold Bond trading stamps and several fading photographs of a woman having sexual intercourse with a collie dog.
She took these things out, stuffed them into her hip pocket, I and then wiped her fingers briskly on the leg of her jeans. She would wash her hands as soon as she could, she promised herself.
Touching these things which had lain so long under the earth made her feel unclean.