My Last Resolution

“Why six fifty two? Wait, you know what? I don’t even want to know.”


“Fine. Just don’t say a word about it until then, okay? Not even to Amy. ”

“Who is Amy?”

“Your girlfriend.”

“From last week.” He snorts. “This week it’s Rachel. Can I tell her?”

“No!”

He laughs, and then he clears his throat. “I’m very proud of you, Paris. Glad you finally woke up and saw the f**king light—even though the way you’re going about it is the stupidest shit I’ve ever heard. Now, if only we could find someone who knew how to f**k you right.”

I hang up and roll my eyes. Conversations with David always end in sexual innuendos, and whenever we’re together people always assume that we’re more than friends.

We’re not. Far from it.

Although he’s insanely attractive and women cling to him like magnets, in my eyes he’s still the boy who popped my bra straps in middle school.

Maybe he’s right, maybe this plan IS stupid...Then again, he critiques  p**n  for a living...%*$

***

I’m two seconds away from jumping out of my chair and screaming, “Please shut the hell up!” to the arguing couple behind me. They woke me up an hour ago, and I haven’t been able to go back to sleep since.

Apparently, the douchebag boyfriend is insisting that she suck her tears up and act happy whenever they land to meet his family. She, on the other hand, hates his parents and is threatening to go home and leave him by himself.

I’m tempted to turn around and tell her to leave his ass, but they start kissing.

Ugh...

“Passengers heading to Washington, D.C.,” a voice calls over the intercom, “we are about to begin the boarding process. At this time I ask that any passengers with disabilities and any passengers traveling with small children make their way to the desk.”

Knowing that this process will take forever, I pull a notepad from my purse and start to write my newest resolutions. I want these to be my best ones yet.

I’m not going to promise to go to the gym more often—that never works, and I’m definitely not going to promise to eat healthier foods. McDonald’s is my go-to comfort food and I’m never giving that shit up.

This year, I’m focusing on the shit I actually want. The shit I’ve been holding myself back from. Starting with number one: “Dump Adrian’s ass.”

I write that one down twice, and I almost make it my ‘number eleven,’ but I don’t want to waste such a special honor on him.

“First class passengers may now board the plane...”

I scribble a few more, writing the first few things that come to mind.

Before I can read over it and see if everything is exactly how it should be, my zone is called. My seat is listed as “To Be Determined” so I’m pretty sure that means I’ll be sitting in the worst possible spot. Right next to the restroom.

Annoyed, I hand my ticket over to the agent.

“Did you not want to sit in first class, Miss Weston?” He raises his eyebrow.

“What? What are you talking about?”

He points at his screen. “You have a first class seat for this flight.”

I look at him in absolute shock. I’ve never flown first class before.

“Is that a yes or would you like to graciously give up your seat to a—”

“Nope.” I tell him thank you and anxiously take my spot in the boarding line.

Maybe this runaway trip won’t be a complete bust after all...

With just two passengers left in front of me, my phone rings.

It’s London. My sister.

“Yes?” I try to sound normal.

“Did you forget about me picking you up today? Where are you?”

“I’m...” I want to tell her the truth, but I know she won’t understand.

She’s been married to her college sweetheart since she was twenty one and she’s the epitome of what it means to be a “fairytale chaser.” In fact, when I told her that Adrian wasn’t the man I thought he was and that I wanted to break up with him, she cried.

She said, “Prince Charming doesn’t always wear his shining armor. He has his faults. You shouldn’t break up with him just because things have been rough for a few months. Especially not when years of eternal happiness are right around the corner!”

That was the biggest line of bullshit I’d ever heard, and that was also two years ago...

“I guess I just lost track of time,” I say. “Can I meet you?”

“Sure! Meet me at Sweet Falls Country Club, back by the pool okay? We can eat dinner together! It’s going to be so much fun! Just you and me!”

I shake my head at her terrible ability to lie. “I’ll see you soon.”

She squeals as she ends the call.