“So?”
“So, that’s f**king crazy. You and I have just been hanging out indoors every day. That’s not something you can build a relationship on.”
“So I have to save you from walking into a moving bus just to get you to spend more time with me?”
I laugh. “No, but...I can’t stay.” For some reason, saying that hurts a little. “I mean, a big part of me wants to, but—”
“You can’t.” He finishes for me. Then he quickly changes the subject. “I spent a lot of time cooking that dinner. Are you going to eat it?”
“Are you going to let me eat? It’s kind of impossible to do when you keep talking.”
He smiles and picks up my fork, stabbing a few pasta noodles, then he lifts it to my mouth.
As I close my mouth around the food, his eyes light up and he whispers, “Try not to use your teeth. I need to keep this visual for long after you leave.”
I don’t get a chance to laugh before he pulls me into his lap and kisses my lips.
“Let’s try this again,” he says, preparing another forkful of noodles. “This time, look like you’re really enjoying it...”
***
Blake walks me to my bedroom and wraps his arms around my waist. He gently pulls a bobby pin from my hair—letting a few ringlets fall in front of my forehead.
Pushing them away, he looks into my eyes. “Are you sleeping alone tonight?”
The question hangs in the air for what feels like an eternity.
I only have a few days left with him and I want to say no, I need to say no, but I can’t get my mouth to say a single word.
“Paris...” he rubs his hands against my bare back, running his thumb against the zipper of my dress. “Are you sleeping alone tonight?”
“Um...”
“Yes?”
“Yes...” I manage, and I notice a hint of sadness in his eyes.
He whispers “Okay,” and kisses me until I can’t breathe, until I absolutely regret giving him the wrong f**king answer.
Slowly tearing his mouth away from mine, he sighs. “I’ll be up late again. Let me know if you need anything.”
“Another night of case files?”
“Blue balls.” He smiles and kisses my cheek. “Goodnight, Paris.”
I slip into my room and silently curse myself.
I have no idea what the hell is wrong with me.
Adrian is out of the picture—has technically been for at least a year, and I want to have sex with Blake.
I want him to f**k me out of my mind like he claims he can—and I need to stop wasting my time. I made those resolutions for a reason, and I want to be able to put a checkmark next to every last one of them.
Taking a deep breath, I tell myself that time is getting shorter by the second, and I have nothing left to lose.
I walk over to the closet and change into one of the silk slips that he bought me. Then I head over to his bedroom.
Opening the door, I expect to see him reading over more case files, but he isn’t. He isn’t even here.
I’m about to walk out and search the rest of his house, but I hear a faint sound coming from behind his bathroom walls.
“Blake?” I knock on the door.
No answer.
I step inside and raise my eyebrow at the sight in front of me. Blake’s wrapping a towel around his waist and pressing his head against the wall, sighing.
I try to step back and wait for him in his bedroom, but he suddenly turns around and looks at me—smiling. “This is what you consider sleeping alone?”
“No...” I hesitate. “I was um...I was going to tell you that...”
“Yes?” His smile widens.
“I was going to ask if you could tell me where to find those coffee packets you bought. I want to make some coffee since I can’t sleep...It um, makes me feel good.”
“Coffee makes you feel good?”
I can’t answer. I’m too busy focusing on the way he’s looking at me, the way his towel is hanging off his waist.
“It’s in the left drawer on the island. Would you like me to show it to you?”
“The coffee?”
“Yes,” he says. “The coffee.”
“Um...” Watching him run his hands through his hair is something I could do all day. “No, that’s alright. I think I can find it on my own...” I stand there for a few more seconds, telling myself to step forward and end this charade, but no words come out of my mouth.
I turn away and leave the room, sighing as I shut the door behind me. There is no way I can tell him what I really want. Hell, I’ve never told anyone what I really wanted.
I step out into the hallway, but before I can make my way to my room, I feel Blake wrapping his arms around me from behind.
“Did you really come to me to ask about coffee?” he whispers.
“Yes...”
He kisses the back of my neck. “I don’t believe you.”
I don’t believe me either... “You should.”
He laughs softly and tightens his grip on my waist. “Tell me you want me.”
“I want your coffee.”