I frowned at her, upset to realize that she was right. I wasn't being fair. She went on. "Or better, say that person also did a wide range of bizarre things - from saving your life under impossible circumstances one day to treating you like a pariah the next, and he never explained any of that either, even after he promised. That, also, would be very non-frustrating."
It was the longest speech I'd ever heard her make, and it gave me a new quality
for my list.
"You've got a bit of a temper, don't you?"
"I don't like double standards."
She was completely justified in her irritation, of course.
I stared at Bella, wondering how I could possibly do anything right by her, until the silent shouting in Mike Newton's head distracted me.
He was so irate that it made me chuckle.
"What?" she demanded.
"Your boyfriend seems to think I'm being unpleasant to you - he's debating whether or not to come break up our fight." I would love to see him try. I laughed again. "I don't know who you're talking about," she said in an icy voice. "But I'm sure you're wrong anyway."
I very much enjoyed the way she disowned him with her dismissive sentence.
"I'm not. I told you, most people are easy to read."
"Except me, of course."
"Yes. Except for you." Did she have to be the exception to everything?
Wouldn't it have been more fair - considering everything else I had to deal with now - if I could have at least heard something from her head? Was that so much to ask? "I wonder why that is?"
I stared into her eyes, trying again...
She looked away. She opened her lemonade and took a quick drink, her eyes on the table.
"Aren't you hungry?" I asked.
"No." She eyed the empty table between us. "You?"
"No, I'm not hungry," I said. I was definitely not that.
She stared at the table her lips pursed. I waited.
"Could you do me a favor?" she asked, suddenly meeting my gaze again.
What would she want from me? Would she ask for the truth that I wasn't allowed to tell her - the truth I didn't want her to ever, ever know?
"That depends on what you want."
"It's not much," she promised.
I waited, curious again.
"I just wondered..." she said slowly, staring at the lemonade bottle, tracing its lip with her littlest finger. "If you could warn me beforehand the next time you decide to ignore me for my own good? Just so I'm prepared."
She wanted a warning? Then being ignored by me must be a bad thing... I smiled.
"That sounds fair," I agreed.
"Thanks," she said, looking up. Her face was so relieved that I wanted to laugh with my own relief.
"Then can I have one in return?" I asked hopefully.
"One," she allowed.
"Tell me one theory."
She flushed. "Not that one."
"You didn't qualify, you just promised one answer," I argued.
"And you've broken promises yourself," she argued back.
She had me there.
"Just one theory - I won't laugh."
"Yes, you will." She seemed very sure of that, though I couldn't imagine anything that would be funny about it.
I gave persuasion another try. I stared deep into her eyes - an easy thing to do, with eyes so deep - and whispered, "Please?"
She blinked, and her face went blank.
Well, that wasn't exactly the reaction I'd been going for.
"Er, what?" she asked. She looked dizzy. What was wrong with her?
But I wasn't giving up yet.
"Please tell me just one little theory," I pleaded in my soft, non-scary voice, holding her eyes in mine.
To my surprise and satisfaction, it finally worked.
"Um, well, bitten by a radioactive spider?"
Comic books? No wonder she thought I would laugh.
"That's not very creative," I chided her, trying to hide my fresh relief.
"I'm sorry, that's all I've got," she said, offended.
This relieved me even more. I was able to tease her again.
"You're not even close."
"No spiders?"
"Nope."
"And no radioactivity?"
"None."
"Dang," she sighed.
"Kryptonite doesn't bother me either," I said quickly - before she could ask about bites - and then I had to laugh, because she thought I was a superhero.
"You're not supposed to laugh, remember?"
I pressed my lips together.
"I'll figure it out eventually," she promised.
And when she did, she would run.
"I wish you wouldn't try," I said, all teasing gone.
"Because...?"
I owed her honesty. Still, I tried to smile, to make my words sound less threatening. "What if I'm not a superhero? What if I'm the bad guy?"
Her eyes widened by a fraction and her lips fell slightly apart. "Oh," she said. And then, after another second, "I see."
She'd finally heard me.
"Do you?" I asked, working to conceal my agony.
"You're dangerous?" she guessed. Her breathing hiked, and her heart raced.
I couldn't answer her. Was this my last moment with her? Would she run now? Could I be allowed to tell her that I loved her before she left? Or would that frighten her more?
"But not bad," she whispered, shaking her head, no fear in her clear eyes. "No, I don't believe that you're bad."
"You're wrong," I breathed.
Of course I was bad. Wasn't I rejoicing now, that she thought better of me than I deserved? If I were a good person, I would have stayed away from her.