"Hah!" I rolled my eyes then.
This day had turned out better than I have ever believed imaginable. I hadn't hurt her, or killed her, instead her scent was becoming less sensitive and I had been able to let my desires take control and I held her in my arms, I caressed her face and brought my mouth so close to the base of her neck without biting. I grabbed her hand that was wrapped tightly around my neck and pressed her palm into my nose, inhaling as deeply as possible. The ache burned in my throat. I was still thirsting for her blood, but desire bounded up and out my mouth, "Easier all the time."
I took off through the forest.
16. Desire
I was flowing through the forest effortlessly. Running like this was something that I did on a daily basis. Even after all these years, it was still invigorating. The velocity I was moving at felt freeing, as the air moved rapidly past me. I was feeling boisterous. To a human, moving this fast would be inconceivable; it was without effort that I moved over rocks, trees, and the slippery forest floor.
Bella was still securely entwined on my back, warming my cold skin. The wind whipped her scent behind me, but her arms were around my neck and so I was able to continue to breathe in her warm aroma. I was wondering what her thoughts were in these moments. All I could think about is how I was able to hold her, clutch her to my chest, and not harm her when we were in the meadow. How her scent enticed my hungry desires to bring her warm lips to mine. Maybe I could? If I were to use just the right amount of pressure, I wouldn't harm her. It had taken us hours to reach the meadow going at Bella's pace, and within minutes we were at the road, next to her truck.
"Exhilarating, isn't it?" I asked, elated.
She didn't move or say anything. Her grip was just as secure as if I were still running. I waited. Still, she didn't even make a sound, though I knew she was alive, I could feel her pulse and smell her breath. I waited another second, and still, nothing.
"Bella?" I asked, concerned now.
She finally spoke, though her voice sounded strained, "I think I need to lie down," she panted.
Instantly I was nervous. After the whole day in the meadow, did I finally make a mistake and not realize it? I was apologetic then, "Oh, sorry."
I stood there, still, waiting for her to release her grasp on me. Honestly, I didn't want her to, but my insatiable desire was instantly dissolved at my growing panic.
"I think I need help," she admitted.
I laughed under my breath, but it was because I was relieved, not because the situation was humorous. I placed my hands on her locked fingers and gently pulled them apart. I continued to hold on to her, and pulled her into my arms. I gazed into her eyes in that moment, never wanting to put her down. Her warmth, her smell, everything about her was begging me to feed; yet, I did not want to, my hungers were strictly about the love and adoration I felt for her. I thought about bringing my lips to hers in this moment, how she would inevitably wrap her arms around me once more, and embrace me back. Maybe this wasn't the best time though; she did seem a little faint. Slowly, not wanting to, but slowly, I lowered her to the ground, as gently as I could, like she was especially breakable; which she was. Now that she was no longer in my arms, I could concentrate on her well being without being distracted.
"How do you feel?" I asked, still anxious.
She looked like she couldn't focus, "Dizzy, I think."
From my years of medical schooling, I realized that she must have motion sickness. I didn't think of this before I made yet another mistake by throwing her on my back and running.
"Put your head between your knees." I insisted.
She obeyed, and lowered herself to the ground and gently placed her head between her knees, closing her eyes tightly. I moved closer to her, lowering myself to the ground, also. I sat beside her, thinking I might have damaged her. The thought sent sharp bristles of pain through my body. I stared at her for several minutes. She finally lifted her head, looking a little sick. Her eyes were still securely closed. She had the same expression on her face the day I found her practically laying on the ground, recovering from her dizzy spell after smelling blood in biology class.
"I guess that wasn't the best idea," I contemplated.
I thought back to the moment before we left the meadow. The thought of this hurting her never crossed my mind. I continued to stare at her, she was a little green, and her skin was beginning to lose all color.
"No, it was very interesting," she tried to sound affirmative. She couldn't fool me.
"Hah! You're as white as a ghost - no, you're as white as me!" I exclaimed.
"I think I should have closed my eyes," she concluded.
"Remember that next time," I told her. Would there be a next time? Surely a dizzy spell would not prevent her from wrapping her arms and legs around me and enjoying a run would it?