She continued without pause.
"I keep getting flashes of you killing Bella! If you kill her I will be very upset. I haven't even had the opportunity to talk to her," her voice was petulant.
I gritted my teeth and breathed in the light morning air around me. The fresh air cleared my head making the monster retreat. How had I let things get out of hand? Why did I have to put my hand in the cookie jar?
"Alice," I breathed.
She interjected.
"Please, just be careful, Edward! Your future has been changing erratically...I never know what is going to happen with you anymore." I could almost hear her pout.
I sighed because she was right. The easy flow of my future had taken a wild spin and even I couldn't tell her what my plans were from day to day anymore.
"I won't hurt her, Alice," I said with chagrin.
"You better not!" It was a command. "I'll see you soon." She hung up the phone.
I groaned. Was I really that close? I didn't think I was. Looking back up at her window I decided it was okay for me to check on her - just one more time - tonight.
Her small chest was moving up and down evenly along with her steady breath. She was still sound asleep. Safe. Her protector kept her free from danger.
But didn't protect her from himself, I growled internally. I was going to have to work on that.
The light of a new day began to peak over the tops of the trees, sending blue tints across the grey clouds that accompanied the sky.
My mind was racing around with what this new day would bring me as I was soaring through the forest at a ferocious velocity back towards home. The questions I would ask her...the responses I would receive. To just dive in and understand her mind, to know what she was thinking.
My thirst instantly became secondary to her knowing mind. My curiosity was aching like a thirst.
Thirst, I thought warily.
I needed to hunt. I needed more blood to help dilute the intense sensations that came over when I was around Bella. I'd do it now, while I was out - one more time - just in case it wasn't true after all, that my ravenous desire to have her was second to her.
I closed my eyes, letting my nose take over.
Deer, I groaned. Ugh.
I still raced towards it and quenched my ever burning throat, letting the warm blood soak into my dry and frozen throat. Gluttonous. That is what I had become. If I shook myself you might even hear the blood slosh around in me.
But, there was no blood that would ease this ache...this hollow yearning. I pushed the animal off of me with disgust and realized my need for a shower and fresh clothes.
When I arrived at home I ran into Rosalie in the garage.
Great, I thought. Exactly what I need.
"You know this is going to cause problems, Edward," she hissed my name.
"Not now, Rosalie." I growled back.
"You are so self-centered, haven't you thought about what this will do to our family?" she bit back at me.
Of course I had thought about it. Wasn't it obvious that it was eating at me, every second of every day? It was only earlier that I admitted my betrayal.
She must be bored - this argument was getting old.
"Rosalie, go jump off a cliff," I snapped back at her, not like that would do much to her; maybe ruffle her hair and clothes - that should piss her off.
I chuckled at my internal thought.
Ignoring her jibes and muttering I continued to walk inside. Everyone else was pointedly ignoring me. It was apparent that they were all acting busy. I saw through the pretense but I was relieved they were leaving me alone.
I was swiftly dressed and back at Bella's before Charlie left, parking my car around the block so it would be out of sight. I raced towards her house, hoping to hear something new today.
Lurking in the shadows outside her house, the feeling of being a stalker came over me again. Was this how I would forever live my life - being a crazy vampire stalker?
Catching the tail end of their conversation I reprimanded myself for letting Rosalie distract me, taking away a considerable amount of my time. My stalking time, I laughed mirthlessly at myself.
Feeling a little belligerence because I failed to get back before her thoughts were being spoken, I listened with more effort....eavesdropping on their conversation more tentatively.
"I'm not going to the dance, Dad." I heard the stubbornness in Bella's tone as I imagined her vulnerable face creasing with anger. Her kitten anger.
I chuckled.
Today seemed to be a mostly silent thought day for Charlie, but the tenor of his mind was still leaking out. Fear raged through him at the possibility that none of the boys liked her at school. What was wrong with his daughter? These thoughts were more pointless than he realized. If only he knew what all the males at school thought about her...
Even worse - what she liked: a vampire.
"Didn't anyone ask you?" Charlie asked, concerned.