“If my memory serves me correctly, you turned me down the other two times.”
“Those don’t count. We were drunk and I don’t do smashed sex.” She walked over to me and pretended to check my forehead for a fever. “Wait a minute. Are you and Audrey back together?”
“No.”
“Okay...Did you recently come out of the closet or something? Are you g*y?”
“Excuse me?”
“Oh my god! It makes perfect sense! All these years! That’s the real reason you dumped Audrey isn’t it? And the fact that I’m standing here half-naked and you’re not even hard makes it even clearer! So, who’s the lucky guy?” She started putting her clothes back on.
“Stacy, I’m far from g*y. Trust me. I just don’t feel like it.”
“Umm hmmm.” She crossed her arms and pursed her lips. “Then what’s her name?”
“Her who?”
She rolled her eyes and pulled me out of my chair. “If we’re not going to do anything, the least you can do is buy me a round, a real round, and tell me who ruined my chance at good sex for tonight.”
I followed her onto the elevator, up to the rooftop bar, and ordered us a few glasses of stiff drinks.
Any other night, she and I would be back in my hotel suite, having sex on every single surface, filling each other in on the random things that had happened in our lives. We would be laughing at the things we didn’t understand about each other’s careers: I never understood why the fashion industry took itself so seriously, and she could never comprehend the excitement behind innovative technology.
But tonight, when I saw her standing half naked in my bedroom, the only thing I could think about was Claire and her smart ass mouth.
“You ever date a younger guy, Stacy?” I spooned a lemon slice from my vodka.
“Yeah. Twice.”
“What happened?”
“The first guy was twenty-one when I was twenty-six, and the second guy was twenty-three when I was twenty-eight. That’s what happened...How old is she?”
“She just turned forty this past Friday.”
“Wow...”
“Wow, what?”
“Nothing, I just—wow...I actually think the whole ‘older woman-younger guy’ thing is kind of hot. Since she’s older, maybe she’ll help you out with some of your bedroom techniques.”
“I’ve never gotten any complaints.”
“It was a joke, Jonathan.” She rolled her eyes. “Anyway, why do you care about her age?”
“I don’t. She does.”
Stacy nodded. “That’s understandable. Well, just show her that it doesn’t matter. I mean, it’s just sex right? I’m sure when you two are going at it, your age is the last thing on her mind so—”
“We haven’t had sex.”
“What?” She clutched her chest. “Jonathan Statham has detailed a woman’s car, given her thousands of dollars in flowers and jewelry, been out with her twice, and hasn’t had sex with her? Who are you?”
“First off, I’m not that insatiable. Second off, I do want to have sex with her but—why am I even discussing this with you?”
“You like her, don’t you?”
I sighed. I didn’t want to continue this conversation. “How does it feel to be on the cover of Sports Illustrated for the second year in a row? I liked the red bikini on you. It was different.”
“You should call her tonight. You don’t have to do the whole ‘wait a week’ thing with an older woman. She’ll just write you off as—”
“I am going to call her tonight.”
“Damn. It’s even worse than I thought.” She laughed. “Good for you though. Anyway, it’s time for more drinks. I need at least seven more.”
“Whatever you say.”
It took a lot more than seven for her to feel satisfied, and since she passed out in middle of drinking one, I had to carry her down to her room.
Once I tucked her into bed and made sure that she could sleep without throwing up, I walked back up to my suite and called Claire.
“Hello?” She picked up on the third ring.
“Hello, Claire.”
“Um...Hi.” She sounded surprised. “How’s your conference going?”
“I wouldn’t know. I haven’t been paying attention. How are things back at corporate?”
“Pretty great. There was a memo from the CEO today about the parking zones being permanently terminated. Everyone here is pretty excited since he’s finally pulled his head out of his ass.”
I laughed. “Do you practice insulting people or are you naturally good at it?”
“I practice five hours a day.”
“Time very well spent. About dinner this Saturday night—”
“What about it?”
“What do I have to do to get you to say yes?”
She sighed. “Agree to let me pay for my own dinner.”
“And why would I do that?”
“Because it sets boundaries between us and it won’t feel like a date.”
“It is a date.”
“Well, it shouldn’t be. I know you changed the company policy on dating, but us hanging out outside of the office is wrong, regardless of if you think so or not.”
“So you want me to fire you?”
“What! No, I don’t want you to—”