He gazed at me, studying me.
I let him see me. I let him see the gnawing ache inside of me. It had been there forever. I couldn’t remember a time it wasn’t, and the person who put it there was with his friends. My dad was doing his thing. He was acting like he was perfect. He was pretending that he had never hurt anyone and he was getting away with it.
“Nate,” I softened my tone, “I have to make him hurt. Just a little bit.”
“He’s outside on the patio.” Then he stepped aside, and I didn’t wait another second. I charged the stairs.
When I burst through the door, conversation stopped. It was like they sensed trouble coming and I smirked, seeing alarm come over more than a few. Some of them scattered away, and I knew it wouldn’t be long before someone told Nate’s mom I was out here. She’d come and try to intervene, but it wouldn’t matter. As I passed the buffet table, I grabbed a drink and headed to the patio. When I got there, Nate’s dad had his head bent close to my dad’s. They turned as one to me. I flashed them a grin. That hadn’t taken long at all. With mirroring guarded expressions coming over them, I headed their way, then skimmed the woman next to my dad up and down. She wore a black dress, high heels, and a shiny bracelet on her wrist.
I pointed to it. “When did he get that for you?”
“Mason.” My dad moved forward. He lifted a hand to me, but I dodged around him.
I said again, “When did he get that for you?” I gestured around the room. “Because you know he’s gotten a lot of women here the same gift.”
She looked at my dad. “Who is this?”
I laughed. “She doesn’t even know. You must be one of his short-term girls.” I swung around to my dad. “Or are you still with that bitch? What was her name? I didn’t like her, Dad.” As I stressed that word, I threw the woman a pointed look. She flushed, registering the insult and moved back a step. I turned back to him. “Or are you cheating on her with her.” I pointed to the woman and looked around the room exaggeratedly. “I don’t see the other one, so this must be the one in your bed tonight.”
She clenched her drink tighter. “Dear god.”
I shook my head. “Not god, honey. His son.” I flashed her a hateful smirk. “But close. I’m sure my father thinks he is a god. He plays with people’s lives like he is one. Right, Dad?” I swung around.
He was standing there, just watching me with pity in his gaze. Nate’s dad was beside him, so was Nate’s mom. She held a hand to her mouth and horror filled her gaze. I hated that. It set me on edge and I gritted my teeth. They had no idea. They were horrified because of me? Because I was going to ruin their party? A burst of fury like I had never experienced shot through me. I lunged for him.
Nate’s dad tried to catch me, but I ducked, avoided him, and kept going. My dad fell back and Nate’s mom stepped in front of him, like she was going to protect him. I laughed; this was ridiculous. Another guy stepped in and caught me. Both of them wrapped their arms around me. I wasn’t really fighting, but I wanted to. I wanted to hurt him. Nate’s dad and the rest were reacting to my threat, but my anger wasn’t at them.
I yelled at him, “You screw women like they’re snacks for you. You always have. You’ll never change.”
Seeing that I was restrained, even though I wasn’t really fighting them, he shook his head. “Mason, things happened in my marriage that you won’t understand.”
“Fuck you.”
He stopped, a glimmer of his own anger flared, and I waited. I wanted him to fight. I wanted him to react. God yes, I thought, but then he backed down.
I laughed. They tightened their holds around me, but I wasn’t fighting. I was standing there, shaking my head. I hated him. In that moment, I hated my father like I had never allowed myself to feel. A strangled sound came from me and I said, “You ruin lives and you don’t give a shit.”
I stopped. Everything stopped. This wasn’t me being a smartass or some punk kid. This was me speaking the truth. Everyone sensed it and they stopped pretending to hold me back. Nate’s mother dropped the hand she had pressed to her chest. Even the woman I had insulted paused. My dad had an arm around her waist to comfort her, but she moved away, out of his reach.
I said further, “Logan doesn’t want to have a relationship with Mom. Who do you think is to blame for that?”
He started to retort.
I shook my head. I knew what he was going to say. My mother. Everything was her fault except it wasn’t. “Stop, Dad. Just stop. This is you. This is all on you.”