34
Lily
Luke and I left the bar and headed back to my apartment to change, and get ready for the party. The whole staff was going to be there along with all of Luke’s family and friends. It was going to be a great night, and I wasn’t going to ruin it for me or Luke. As much as I loved my students, maybe it was best that I focused on what I’d always wanted to do—photography. Walking into my apartment, and Luke following behind, I set my purse on the counter and grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator. As I turned around, Luke put his hands on my hips and looked at me.
“Are you alright?”
“I’m fine, Luke.” I smiled.
“I’m going to run next door and grab some fresh clothes. I’ll be right back,” he said as he kissed me on the forehead and walked out the door.
I couldn’t stop thinking about Giselle and what she must be going through right now. She told me and Gretchen that she didn’t want us to go with her to the clinic because it was something her and Lucky needed to do alone. She told me that she’d call me when she had the chance. As I was heading to my bedroom to change my clothes, Luke opened the door and walked in.
“That was quick,” I said as he followed me into the bedroom.
“I’m a guy. Give me a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, and I’m happy. We’re not like you women who spend hours deciding what you’re going to wear, how you’re going to do your makeup, and how you’re going to style your hair.”
“I don’t do that!” I exclaimed as I took a dress from my closet, looked at it, and then put it back. “Ok, guilty as charged.” I smiled.
Walking over to my dresser, I looked at Luke as he was getting dressed. “I’m worried about Giselle. Have you heard from Lucky?”
“No, not yet,” he replied, slipping his dark gray t-shirt over his head.
“What are your feelings about all this?”
Luke sat on the edge of the bed and watched me as I ran a brush through my hair. “I don’t know what to think. I’m not happy about the decision they made, but it’s their life, and they have to live with it. Who knows? Maybe fatherhood will change Lucky.”
“Their relationship is weird. They’re more friends with benefits than anything else,” I said as I twisted my hair up in a clip.
“Some people prefer their relationships that way; it’s way less complicated.”
“Are you saying our relationship is complicated?”
“Yes, our relationship is very complicated because I can’t just have sex with you and leave. You plague my thoughts and my dreams when you’re not around. So, I would say that complicates things because when you’re not with me, I feel like life has stopped until you’re by my side again.”
His words were like poetry to me, and they reached deep down to the very core of my soul. What he had just said made tears spring into my eyes. I couldn’t say a word, because if I opened my mouth, I would lose it and cry like a blubbering idiot.
As Luke stood up from the edge of the bed and wrapped his arms around me, he asked me if I was ok. I took in a deep breath and nodded my head.
“I’m sorry, babe. I said too much, and if you respond, you’re going to cry, right?”
Once again, I nodded my head and closed my eyes.
“I love you, Lily.”
“I love you, Luke.”
“I hate seeing you sad. Don’t worry about this teaching thing; everything will work out, and I’ll be by your side every step of the way.”
The one thing I could always count on Luke for was the fact that he always made me feel better and, suddenly, losing my job as Charley’s teacher didn’t seem so bad anymore.
***
Luke and Maddie were behind the bar, setting up the glasses, while Candi and I were making sure the tables were set up.
“How many people are you expecting, Luke?” Candi shouted across the bar.
“About fifty or so.”
“Who’s watching Charley tonight?” I asked Maddie.
“She’s spending the night at her girlfriend’s house.”
Maddie walked over to me and gave me a hug. “I’m really sorry to hear that Charley’s going to have a new teacher on Monday. I haven’t told her yet; she’s going to be devastated.”
“Thanks,” I said as I looked down. “I’m really going to miss those kids, but I’ll still see Charley every day, and she’s more than welcome to come over whenever she wants. Just send her down.”
Maddie laughed as she placed her hand on my shoulder. “That’s sweet of you, Lily, but I’ll give you a call first in case you and my brother are busy.”
“Ah, that’s a good idea.” I winked.
As I looked over Maddie’s shoulder, I saw Tom and Annie walk into the bar.
“Your mom and dad are here,” I said to her.
“Great, keep them occupied for me.” She smiled as she walked the opposite way.
Following behind them was another couple who walked over to Luke and hugged him. Luke looked over to where I was standing, and he motioned for me to come over to him.
“Lily, I would like you to meet my Aunt Rose and Uncle Matt.”
“My, aren’t you a sight for sore eyes,” Aunt Rose said as she hugged me. “We’ve heard so much about you from Annie and Tom that we feel like we already know you.”
“It’s great to meet both of you.” I smiled.
Rose was Annie’s younger sister, and Matt was her husband. She was a cake decorator and owned a bakery in San Francisco, and he was a retired accountant who did the books for Rose’s bakery. As we were talking, Gretchen and Sam walked in.
“Hey, bro.” He smiled as he and Luke shook hands.
“Hi, Sam,” I said as he gave me a hug.
“Have you heard from Giselle yet?” I asked Gretchen with concern.
“I texted her and she said she’s fine—she’s…”
Before Gretchen could finish her sentence, Giselle and Lucky walked through the door. I put my hand on Luke’s shoulder, and he turned around. The four of us stood there and stared at them.
“We’re having a baby!” She smiled as she threw her hands in the air.
We stood there, unable to say anything, then Luke spoke the first words.
“Awesome.” He smiled as he hugged Giselle and high-fived Lucky.
Sam followed behind Luke and did the same as I looked at her and smiled. Gretchen, Giselle, and I walked over and sat down at a table.
“I couldn’t do it. I was lying down on the table with my feet in the stirrups. Lucky was holding my hand, and the doctor walked in and asked me if I was ready. I told him I was and then he went to check me, and I yelled, ‘stop.’ I looked at Lucky, told him that I couldn’t do it, and he said ‘please don’t.’ So, I sat up, got dressed, and the two of us went out to lunch and talked about what we’re going to do.”
“And what are you going to do?” Gretchen asked as she grabbed Giselle’s hand.
“Lucky and I are going to raise the baby together as friends, with some occasional sex thrown in.” She smiled.
“Is he moving in?”
“No, we’re not moving in together. We’re both going to keep our separate places fully furnished with all the things the baby needs.”
I leaned over and looped my arm around her neck. “If that’s what the two of you want, then I’m happy for you. I can’t tell you how glad I am that you didn’t go through with it.”
“I know you are, Lily, and I gave a lot of thought to what you said about your birth mother. By the way, nobody better cancel on Tuesday, because I want to hear all about it,” she said as she pointed her finger at me and Gretchen.
I felt two strong hands clasp my shoulders. As I looked up, Luke bent down and kissed me. “Come on, babe. There are a few people I want you to meet.”
After meeting all of Luke’s family and friends, Luke walked over and got up on the stage. As he positioned himself in front of the microphone, he held up his beer and yelled, “Welcome to Luke’s Bar and Grille!”
Everyone in the bar whistled and cheered as I stared at Luke’s smiling face. As he looked at me and winked, I held up my beer and blew him a kiss. His happiness is the only thing that matters to me, and I will do everything I can to make sure he stays that way.
***
The next couple of weeks, I barely saw Luke at all. He was at the bar from morning until night. If I wanted to see him, I would have to go to the bar. When he’d come home, he would quietly slip into bed and wrap his arms around me. We’d have dinner together at the bar every night, and he still tried to convince me to work there. He even went as far as to ask me if I would play the guitar and sing a few nights a week. I didn’t have to say a word; he could tell my thoughts on that just by the look on my face. I had Giselle and Gretchen over for dinner like we planned, and I told them everything about Mary. Charley cried almost every day at school because I was no longer her teacher. It had been a clusterf*ck of a week, and certain emotions from my past were being stirred up. As I was sitting on the couch, feeling sorry for myself, a text message from Luke came through.
“Hey, babe. Why aren’t you here yet?”
I quickly responded. “I’m not coming to the bar tonight.”
“Why not? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong, Luke. I just want to stay home.”
“But I miss you, Lily.”
“Yeah, I miss you too, but you don’t seem to care about that.”
As I sat there and stared at my message to him, I couldn’t believe I had just said that. I didn’t know what was going on with me, and I just wanted to be left alone. When he didn’t respond, I threw my phone across the table. About twenty minutes later, the door opened. I turned around as Luke walked in, threw his keys on the counter, and stood in front of me.
“What the hell was that last text supposed to mean?”
I suppose I was looking for a fight, because I jumped up without hesitation and got in his face.
“It means exactly what I said.”
“What’s the matter with you?” he asked as he softly grabbed my arm when I started to walk away. “Don’t you dare walk away from me!”
I jerked my arm out of his grip. “Don’t you dare tell me what to do!”
“Babe, please tell me what’s going on with you, because right now, you’re not acting like yourself.”
“You want to know what’s wrong? Fine, I’ll tell you what’s wrong. I never see much of you anymore, and when I do, it’s always at the bar with everyone else. We barely eat together anymore, and we don’t go out. You spend every damn, f*cking minute at that bar.”
“Watch your mouth, Lily.”
“Oh, and that’s another thing; you don’t get to tell me to watch my mouth, because I can talk anyway I want. I’m an adult, and if I want to scream F*ck to the world, then I f*cking will!”
“We talked about this before I bought the bar; that’s why I discussed it with you first, and now you’re behaving like this. Why, Lily? Are you trying to hurt me? You knew the first few months were going to be difficult.”
“Yeah, but then the first few months turn into another few months, and then they turn into years. It’s your passion, and that’s all you’ll ever do, and that’s all you’ll ever think about, Johnny!” I screamed.
The expression on his face nearly killed me; it was filled with pain, disgust, and anguish. As he walked to the door, and put his hand on the knob, he turned around and looked at me.
“I’m not your father, Lily.”
He slammed the door behind him, and I stood there with my hand over my mouth as I dropped to my knees. I couldn’t believe I called him “Johnny.” As I closed my eyes, the memories of my mother and father fighting became more vivid. Brynn and I would sit on the stairs and listen to them scream back and forth at each other. I remembered my mother yelling at him about never being around and how he promised things would be better. I began to sob as I buried my face in my hands. I felt two arms wrap themselves around me, and I heard Sam’s voice telling me that it was going to be ok. He helped me up from the floor, and he led me to the couch.
“Lily, please calm down.”
“Sam, I said horrible things to him. I called him ‘Johnny.’ I’m more f*cked up than I thought I was.”