Chapter Nineteen
Les,
I don’t know what to do. It’s been over six hours now and I keep trying to figure out if I should go to her house and tell her everything or if I should give it more time.
I think I’ll give it more time. I need to process this.
Chapter Twenty
Les,
What if I call Karen and explain everything to her? Sky seems to have a good relationship with her. Karen could figure out what to do.
Chapter Twenty-one
Les,
Shit. What if Karen is the one who did it?
Chapter Twenty-two
Les,
What if I tell Mom? I could tell Mom and she could figure out what we need to do or if we need to call the police. She’s a lawyer. I’m sure she deals with this kind of stuff all the time.
Chapter Twenty-three
Les,
I can’t tell Mom. Mom’s in intellectual property law. She wouldn’t know what to do any more than I do.
Chapter Twenty-four
Les,
It’s almost midnight. Twelve hours I’ve let this continue without giving her a single explanation for what happened at lunch today. God, I hope I didn’t make her cry.
Chapter Twenty-five
Les,
She’s probably asleep right now. I’ll tell her in the morning. She runs every morning so I’ll just show up and run with her, then I’ll tell her. We’ll figure out what to do after that.
Chapter Twenty-six
Les,
I can’t sleep.
I can’t believe I actually found her.
Chapter Twenty-seven
Les,
Why do you think she calls herself Sky?
There was this thing we used to do when we were little. We only did it a few times because she was taken shortly after that. But she used to cry all the time and I hated it, so we would lie in the driveway and watch the sky and I would hold on to her finger. I remember thinking it was gross to hold a girl’s hand so I would always hold her pinky, instead. Because even though I was just a kid and it was gross to hold a girl’s hand, I really did want to hold her hand.
I used to tell her to think about the sky when she got sad and she always promised me she would. Now here she is. And her name is Sky.
It’s three in the morning. None of this makes any sense. I’m going to sleep now.
Chapter Twenty-eight
Les,
Well, I ran with her. Sort of. It was more like I chased her. I couldn’t bring myself to speak to her once I showed up. Then after the run we were both so exhausted we just collapsed onto the grass.
I was hoping that the incident in the cafeteria yesterday would spark some sort of memory from her. I was hoping when I showed up today that she would know exactly what upset me so much yesterday. I wanted her to tell me she remembered so I wouldn’t have to be the one to tell her.
How do you tell someone something like that, Les? How do I tell her that the mother who raised her could very well be the one who stole her from us?
If I said anything, her life would change forever. And she likes her life. She likes running and reading and baking and . . . holy shit.
Holy shit.
It didn’t make sense until just now, but the whole internet thing? Her mom not wanting her to have a phone? Karen did it. Karen f*cking took her and she’s doing everything she can to make sure Sky doesn’t find out.
I don’t know what to do. I know I can’t be around her right now. There’s no way I can be around her and pretend everything is fine when it’s not. But there’s no way I can tell her the truth, either, because it would turn her world upside down.
I don’t know what will be more painful. Staying away from her so she doesn’t find out, or telling her the truth and ruining her life all over again.
Chapter Twenty-eight-and-a-half
Les,
It’s Thursday night. I haven’t spoken to her since Monday. I can’t even look at her because it hurts so much. I still don’t know what to do and the longer I just let this go on, the more of an a*shole it makes me look. But every time I work up the nerve to talk to her I have no idea what I’d even say. I told her I’d always be honest with her and this is just something I can’t be honest with her about.
I’ve been trying to figure out why Karen would do something like this, but there isn’t a single valid excuse in the whole world that could justify someone taking a child. I’ve even thought about the chance that maybe Hope’s dad didn’t really want her, so he just gave her away. But I know that’s not true because he did everything he could to find her for months.
I just can’t figure it out. I don’t even know if I need to. Until I barged into her life two weeks ago, she was happy. If I don’t walk away now, it’ll ruin all that.
Ironic, isn’t it? I walked away from her thirteen years ago and ruined her life. Now if I decide not to walk away from her, I’ll ruin her life again.
Just goes to show that everything I do is hopeless. F*cking hopeless.
Chapter Twenty-nine
“Yo, flipdick. We on for tonight?” Daniel says, walking up to my locker.
The last thing I feel like doing tonight is going out. I know Daniel would probably get my mind off her with all the crazy shit that comes out of his mouth, but I don’t really want to get my mind off her. I haven’t spoken to her since Monday and the only thing that sounds appealing besides being with her is wallowing alone in self-pity.
“Maybe tomorrow. I don’t really feel like doing anything tonight.”
Daniel leans his elbow into the locker and he lowers his head, leaning toward me. “You’re really being a mangina,” he says. “You didn’t even date the chick. Get the f*ck over it and . . .” Daniel glances over my shoulder without finishing the sentence. “What the hell is your problem, powder puff?” He’s speaking to someone now standing behind me. The way he says it can only mean it’s Grayson. Fearing I’m about to get sucker-punched from behind, I spin around.
It’s not Grayson.
Breckin is facing me and he doesn’t look very pleased about it.
“Hey,” I say.
“I need to talk to you,” he says. I know he wants to talk about Sky and I really don’t want to talk about Sky. Not to Breckin, not to Daniel, not even to Sky. No one understands anything about anything and frankly, it’s nobody’s business.
“Sorry, Breckin. I’m not really in the mood to talk about her.”
Breckin takes a quick step forward and I take a quick step back because I wasn’t expecting him to rush me like he just did. My back is against the locker and Daniel is laughing. Probably because Breckin is a good fifty pounds lighter than I am and several inches shorter and he’s probably wondering why the hell I haven’t laid Breckin on his ass yet. But that doesn’t stop Breckin from moving in even closer and shoving his finger hard against my chest.
“I don’t really give a shit what kind of mood you’re in, because I’m in a pretty shitty mood myself, Holder. You aren’t the one having to pick up all the shattered pieces of Sky this week. I don’t know what the hell happened in the cafeteria Monday, but it was enough to show me that I don’t like you. I don’t like you one goddamn bit and I have no idea what Sky sees in you . . . because what you did to her? How you led her on for days and then just walked away like she was a waste of your time?” Breckin shakes his head, still fuming. He drops his eyes down to my arm. Down to the tattoo. “I feel sorry for you,” he sighs. He inhales a calming breath and slowly looks back up at me. “I feel sorry for you, because people like her don’t come along more than once. She deserves someone who realizes that. Someone who appreciates her. Someone who would never just . . .” he shakes his head, looking at me disappointedly. “Someone who would never crush her hope and then just walk away.”
Breckin backs up a step when he’s finished and Daniel gives me the look. The look that indicates he’s ready to start one of his fights. Before I even have the chance to tell Daniel to refrain, he begins to lunge forward toward Breckin. I quickly step in between them and shove Daniel against the locker with my arm, keeping it pressed against his chest. “Don’t,” I say, holding Daniel back.
“Let him hit me,” Breckin says loudly from behind me. “Or better yet, why don’t you just do it, Holder? You proved to Sky on Monday what a badass you are. Have at it!”
I release Daniel and turn around to face Breckin. The last thing I want to do is hit him. Why would I hit him when everything he just said to me was the absolute truth? He’s pissed at me because of how I treated Sky. He’s pissed and he’s protecting her and I have no idea how to tell him how much it means to me to know she has him.
I turn around and open my locker, then grab my backpack and car keys. Daniel is watching me closely, wondering why I’m not kicking Breckin’s ass right now. I face Breckin again and he’s eyeing me with just as much confusion as Daniel. I begin to walk away, but pause when I’m shoulder to shoulder with Breckin. “I’m glad she has you, Breckin.”
He doesn’t respond. I pull my backpack onto my shoulder and walk away.