Me: Right. And again before my speech. I just decided to like pay it forward. He wished me luck. I knew it was a rough game. I have school spirit, wanted the team to win, offered up some more dances. That’s where I was.
Dallas: Was it just dancing?
Me: Yes.
Dallas: If I were Dawson, I wouldn’t want you dancing with Aiden. I wouldn’t give a shit about school spirit.
Me: I’m on the dance team. I’m into school spirit. It’s like my job. So what were we doing? Why was I late? My brain is mush!
Dallas: You were helping me study for our English test tomorrow and we were both so tired, we fell asleep.
Me: We have a English test tomorrow??!! And Riley is your roommate. He will know.
Dallas: Yes...go study. And Riley fell asleep early. You seriously need to talk me up to Katie, she’s cute. I deserve it.
Me: Done :)
I really don’t want to lie to Dawson.
Me to Dawson: Hey, sorry. I’m fine.
Dawson: It’s okay. I figured Katie was freaking out over nothing.
I walk in my room, and if I didn’t get my ass chewed enough, Katie starts in on me. And really, I’m not in the mood. I tell her about Dallas, tell her I’m tired, and tell her goodnight.
How many lies?
1am
I lie still in my bed and daydream about Greek gods in white T-shirts. Then, when I can tell she’s asleep, I get back up and study for the stupid test.
While I’m studying, I get a text from Garrett asking if I’m still up.
Me: Yeah.
Garrett: I need to talk to you. Can you grab your iPad and go somewhere private?
Me: Sure.
I walk quietly out into the hall and then into the concrete stairwell.
“What’s wrong?” I say when I answer Garrett’s call.
“Some things have been going on that I need to update you on. On your Facebook wall, people have been speculating about where you are.”
“You should just delete my profile.”
“We’re monitoring it. And some interesting things have come up. Specifically, there has been a lot of talk about rehab facilities. A little over two weeks ago, one was mentioned by name. A famous one in Malibu.”
“Okay?”
“A day later, their office was broke into. Files were searched.”
“I’ve heard that’s not uncommon. Paparazzi trying to get a story.”
“I agree. But then, nine days ago, another one was named. The one we sent the plane to in Utah.”
“Did it get broken into too?”
“Yes. And, a few days ago, another one in Arizona.”
“Have you been following him?”
“Yes, but he hasn’t left. He probably hired someone to do it.”
“Okay, so he’s still looking for me. Got it. I won’t do anything stupid.”
“There’s something else.”
I instantly panic. “Mom? The girls?”
“No. They’re all fine. It’s your friend, Cush.”
“What about him?”
“He, well, he left. He’s not at your school anymore.”
“Where is he?”
“There’s a message from him on your Facebook. On your iPad is a special icon that looks like the one on your phone only it’s orange. Hit that. Then log into Facebook. It’s a program that doesn’t allow your IP address to be tracked. Read the message. I’ll wait.”
I log on and take a deep breath. I have numerous messages and notifications, but I look for the one from Cush.
And open it.
Keatyn,
I came to your party because I had to apologize to you. Tell you I was sorry about what I said after the whole Mandy thing. That it wasn’t your fault.
I had something else to tell you too. It’s the real reason I came back. After all the plans we’d made, I felt like I owed it to you to tell you in person.
Here’s what I was supposed to tell you:
I decided to live with my dad and go to school in Oregon. I thought it would suck here, but it really doesn’t. I like coming home and having people in the house. Everyone here is really nice and I kinda met this girl. She’s sweet. You’d like her. She doesn’t care about being popular. It’s not that big of a deal here.
But here’s what happened:
I gave you the boots.
You loved them.
I wasn’t lying when I said they look like you, but I was lying when I said I bought them. I’m sorry, but my mom picked them out. She said they were a good brand and you would love them.
Then you kissed me, and I wanted to forget about Oregon.
I wanted to come back and pretend there was no one else.
I loved dancing with you again.
And then you dragged me off the dance floor and really kissed me. Told me you broke up with the surfer and that you loved me. I swear, Keatyn, you can wrap me around your finger like no one else can. I started making plans with you that I knew I couldn’t keep. I told you about prom because I wished it could be true.
But then I started feeling guilty.
Because I knew I was lying.
I told myself I would tell you the truth at your after-party.
But then you cancelled the party and left.
I tried to call you. I tried to go to your house. I felt like I owed it to you to tell you in person, but I had to go.
I hope I can see you again someday.