“Oh, also Kym told me that she’s putting together a few more outfits, some cooler weather looks, and she’ll be sending you a few care packets with boots and things. I think she’s having a ball with it.”
“I texted her yesterday to thank her and tell her how much I loved everything she’s put together. So, what do you think of Gorgeous?”
“He looks very sweet and vulnerable. It’s a very sexy look.”
“I know.”
“Do you even have clothes that are suitable for the Hamptons?”
“Oh, shit. I only brought one bikini and no, I don’t!”
“I’ll text Kym. She’s in New York. She’ll have something couriered to you. If she has it there by three tomorrow, will that work?”
“Yeah, thanks for thinking of that, Mom.”
“You sound like you’re doing okay. Are you really? Are you crying yourself to sleep? Are you having bad dreams?”
“No. I’m doing okay. Pretty okay. Mostly, I try not to think about it. Garrett told me that I may never get to come back. That I should start making my life here. So I’m trying to do my best.”
“Oh, I didn’t mention this before, but somewhere in all the stuff that Kym sent you were the birth control pills that we talked about when you were dating Brook. Did you find them?”
“No. I still have one box that I haven’t completely gone through.”
“Well, they will make your periods shorter. I just don’t want you thinking you can have sex with just anyone because you’re on it. And you should still always use a condom. It’s just like a back-up plan. Right?”
“I know. Thank you. I’ll find them and start them. Shorter periods sound great. So, Garrett told me stuff about Vincent, but no one has said anything about how you are doing. About the girls. Has he been in Vancouver?”
“From what I understand, he was all over Malibu. We kept the girls at home and brought their dance teacher in. The girls love it here. The house we’re leasing sits on a large piece of land. It’s very private, and they have lots of room to run around.”
“I’m glad. Are they still awake? Can I talk to them?”
“Of course. I was just getting ready to go read them a bedtime story. Would you like to read them one instead? You have most of them memorized.”
Tears fill my eyes. “I’d love to, Mom.”
I miss reading them bedtime stories. I miss how they smell just after their nightly baths and how adorable they look in their little pajamas.
I hear Mom walking across a wood floor then hear her say, “Keatyn is on the phone, girls. She wants to read you a bedtime story.”
She puts me on speaker and the girls all talk at once.
“Kiki, Kiki, we have a big house and a yard and we might get a puppy,” Ivery says.
Gracie says, “Me! Kiki, I talk now. We gonna name puppy, Kiki!”
“Kiki, Kiki, Kiki!” is chanted.
“What are you going to call me then?” I ask.
“Momma says you on a long ’venture. So we get to have puppy Kiki!” Emery explains.
“What kind of dog are you getting?”
Gracie says, “A yellow one! Just like Kiki hair!”
“A yellow one?”
“It’s Avery, Keatyn,” Avery says in an extremely grown up voice. I think with me gone, she’s trying to be the mature oldest sister. “We are getting a golden retriever just like Buoy.”
Buoy is Damian’s dog.
“Buoy has hair just like Kiki!!” Gracie screams. “We fix Kiki hair. We gonna brush Kiki hair. Daddy says we have to pick up Kiki poo poo!”
The girls yell. “Gross!” “Ick.” “Daddy is silly.”
Gracie says, “I tell Daddy we make Kiki wear pull-ups just like me!”
Katie walks in the room and sees me sitting on my bed with tears streaming down my face.
I can picture them all bouncing on their beds. I miss them. I miss their neck-crushing hugs.
“Are you okay?” she whispers.
I nod my head but cry harder.
“I have to go, girls. I’ll let Mommy read you your story,” I choke out.
Mom takes the phone off speaker. “I’m sorry about the dog, honey. We’re trying to talk them into another name.”
“It’s okay. Give them hugs for me.”
I hang up. Put my face in my hands and cry.
Katie sits on my bed and gives me a big hug. “What’s wrong?”
“My sisters are naming a dog after me.”
Katie starts laughing. And I can’t help it. I start laughing through my tears.
“That’s pretty freaking funny,” she says.
Friday, September 2nd
A safe place to go.
7:08am
When I check my email this morning, there’s one from Sam. He states that he’s successfully negotiated a deal on my loft. That the owners had already moved out and that we will close on it next week.
I smile. Then I almost start crying.