Thirty-two
The night before I fly back to Amsterdam, Mukesh calls to go over all my flight details. “I got you an exit row seat,” he says. “You’ll be more comfortable, with all your height. Though maybe if you tell them you are a Bollywood star, you’ll get business class.”
I laugh. “I’ll do my best.”
“When does the film come out?”
“I’m not sure. They just finished shooting.”
“Funny how it all worked out.”
“Right place, right time,” I tell him.
“Yes, but you wouldn’t have been in the right place in the right time had we not canceled your camel trip.”
“You mean it got canceled. Because the camels got sick.”
“Oh, no, camels just fine. Mummy asked me to bring you back early.” He lowers his voice. “Also, plenty of flights back to Amsterdam before tomorrow, but when you disappeared to the movie, Mummy asked me to keep you here a little bit longer.” He chuckles. “Right place, right time.”
The next morning, Prateek comes to drive us to the airport. Chaudhary shuffles to the curb to see us off, wagging his fingers and reminding us of the legally mandated taxi fares.
I sit in the backseat this time, because this time Yael is coming to with us. On the ride to the airport, she is quiet. So am I. I don’t quite know what to say. Mukesh’s confession last night has rattled me, and I want to ask Yael about it, but I don’t know if I should. If she’d wanted me to know, she would’ve told me.
“What will you do when you get back?” she asks me after a while.
“I don’t know.” I really have no idea. At the same time, I’m ready to go back.
“Where will you stay?”
I shrug. “I can stay on Broodje’s couch for a few weeks.”
“On the couch? I thought you were living there.”
“My room’s been rented.” Even if it hadn’t, everyone is moving out at the end of the summer. W is moving in with Lien in Amsterdam. Henk and Broodje are going to get their own flat together. It’s the end of an era, Willy, Broodje wrote me in an email.
“Why don’t you go back to Amsterdam?” Yael asks.
“Because there’s nowhere to go,” I say.
I look straight at her and she looks straight at me and it’s like we’re acknowledging that. But then she raises her eyebrow. “You never know,” she says.
“Don’t worry. I’ll land somewhere.” I look out the window. The car is climbing onto the expressway. I can already feel Mumbai falling away.
“Will you keep looking for her? That girl?”
The way she says it, keep looking, as if I haven’t stopped. And I realize in some way, I haven’t. Which is maybe the problem.
“What girl is this?” Prateek asks, surprised. I never told him of any girl.
I look at the dashboard, where Ganesha is dancing away just as he did on that first drive from the airport. “Hey, Ma. What was that mantra? The one from the Ganesha temple?”
“Om gam ganapatayae namaha?” Yael asks.
“That’s the one.”
From the front seat, Prateek chants it. “Om gam ganapatayae namaha.”
I repeat it. “Om gam ganapatayae namaha.” I pause as the sound floats through the car. “That’s what I’m after. New beginnings.”
Yael reaches out to touch the scar on my face. It’s faded now, thanks to her ministrations. She smiles at me. And it occurs to me that I might have already gotten what I asked for.