Jinni's Wish (Kingdom, #4)

Paz lowered her arms, a heart-rending frown tipping the corners of her mouth.

“Paz,” Jinni said, forking his fingers through his hair. “I did not know you then. I did not even know myself.”

She looked at him, not speaking, but the damning picture behind her spoke volumes.

Nala pressed against a tree, lust and desire scrawled upon her face, his body covering hers as he took her over and over. He popped his jaw. That hadn’t even been the worst of his sins.

Jinni glanced down at the body between them.

Paz’s body.

She’d lost more weight. Dark circles lined the creases under her eyes. Sometime during his story, her brother had returned. He was slumped in a chair beside her, her hand pressed tight to his lap, soft snores dropping from his exhausted lips.

“You must understand, though I was old in mind, I was young in the ways of women. I did not understand that the path I chose would lead where it did.”

The heated press of eyes upon his face made him glance up. She’d come to him, the sadness still glinting in her eyes.

“Jinni,” she chuckled, “my skeletons are deep. This happened a long time ago, and though it hurts me to think you lo…ved,” she cleared her throat, “loved somebody that way, it shouldn’t. I barely know you. I’ve got no claim on you. We’re friends right? And friends don’t judge.”

He frowned. Friends? Not that he’d expected more, or maybe he had. Maybe he’d hoped. But it was foolish, he knew it and so did she. To all accounts and purposes, they were dead. Allowing himself, for one moment to forget it, had nearly done him in. Without Danika, he’d be nothing but a vapor. A memory written in the stars.

Exhaling deeply, he nodded. “Yes, dove, we’re friends.”

She squeezed her eyes shut. His words seeming to wound her as hers had him. “Why do I feel so connected to you?” She still wouldn’t look at him. “Why do I feel like I’ve known you forever?”

Because my fairy godmother said we’re soulmates… the words drifted on his tongue, but never made it passed his lips.

Warm brown eyes searched his. “You have such beautiful eyes,” she whispered. “They’re like twin pools of heated umber and flecked with gold. When I look at these paintings,” she gestured to the canvas still floating beside them and shame spread fierce through Jinni’s gut seeing himself rut on Nala like an animal, “I don’t see you.”

He cocked his head.

“That man,” she flicked her wrist, “he’s not you. Do you understand what I’m trying to tell you?”

But she was wrong. The man shoving his cock into Nala’s writhing body was him, so was the man who’d chosen dishonor over loyalty. “You do not yet know the rest of the story, Paz.”

“Why are you so obsessed with sharing this with me? I don’t need to know, Jinni. Just like I’m sure you don’t want to know about my sordid history with men.”

To scrub my conscious. To release the demons that have held me prisoner for years. To know that someone knows me, the real me, and still chooses to stay by my side. All those thoughts flitted through his head, but instead he said, “Because I cannot pretend to be other than I am. Don’t you see, hiding it is what’s causing me to fade.”

He ran an angry hand down his form. “I am weak, a pathetic miserable man and I cannot seem to stay away from you. I know I should.”

“No.”

“Yes,” he gnashed his teeth, “Yes. You should get back in your body, open your eyes and live, Paz. Live, find your Todd. Do not do this to yourself. Do not wallow in this. If it were truly your time, you would be gone. Don’t you understand that?”

He turned on his heels, marching back and forth. She stood where he’d left her, wringing her pale blue hands in front of her body. She was growing a brighter blue, deeper hued. Not good. It meant she wasn’t fighting the death, wasn’t fighting for her life. Why?

“Why aren’t you fighting, Paz, why?” He turned on her, his anger barely leashed. It churned and brewed in his gut, made his breathing heavy, his vision foggy. “Why?”

She glanced down at the wasted form on the bed, a frown marring her smooth forehead. “Because if I leave, I’ll never…” She bit her lip; tears shone in the corners of her eyes.

He turned his head. “I am not good for you.”

She scowled. “Don’t tell me what is and isn’t good for me. My parents did it to me all their lives, told Richard the same thing. Guess what, they were wrong. I loved them,” she walked up to him, and then softly murmured, “but they were wrong. Todd makes my brother happy. That’s all I want. I don’t know why I feel so close to you, maybe because all that stupid stuff you feel you have to hide behind in life doesn’t matter at this point. Maybe because the luxury of flirting and dates, aren’t something we can indulge in. I don’t know.” She gesticulated wildly. “All I do know, is that when I look at you, I see my Todd. And I don’t want to leave you.”