It was odd that he felt his strongest while Nick hurt him.
Not hurt hurt, but that moment when the pain came in and receded, like a rol ing wave that bared treasure on the way back—that moment felt always like he’d tapped into an inner strength he’d never before touched or been aware of.
Odd that, especially since he felt so weak and fragile immediately after the sessions. The next day, he was relaxed, confident, and the day after that he started looking forward to the next appointment. He worked harder during the week so he could slip out of the office on time and spend an hour or so getting ready, getting into the headspace.
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Sometimes, he would order restaurant food and they’d have a meal in his kitchen. Sometimes Nick would even indulge in half a glass—never more—of red wine. They’d eat, drink a little, and discuss what they’d do next. Spencer loved the way Nick would lick red wine off his lips in between telling him what wicked plans he had for the evening. Like most things Nick did, that never failed to turn him on beyond reason.
Spencer learned to anticipate and enjoy the whole range of sensation, from Nick gently slapping his face, to the screaming agony of a cane and its deep purple bruise across the arse. With pain that intense, he was just glad that his house was semi-detached and the bedroom was on the far end in an extension with no walls connecting to another house.
He screamed, and even gagged he screamed loud enough to possibly disturb people.
But it was blessed relief when it was over, and Nick soothed him and calmed him and gentled him for hours while Spencer flew without a care in the world.
The body was a funny thing.
For three solid months, it was perfect. Well worth what Spencer paid, whether it was taken out of his wallet or his flesh.And then it all went to shit.
Spencer’s jaw still ached from the ball gag—man, did that thing take some getting used to—and the immediate sting of freshly-inflicted pain was slowly receding in favour of a dull throb, a warm ache.
Sometimes they didn’t fuck during a scene. Tonight was one of those nights. Strange how the lack of an orgasm didn’t leave Spencer unsatisfied at al .
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Nick looked at him with heavy-lidded bliss in his eyes.
Whatever it was Spencer got out of submitting and taking pain, Nick obviously got it from topping and dishing out pain.
All he knew was that sex—even when it wasn’t technically sex—was far beyond anything it had ever been.
“Maybe next week,” Nick said, slurring just a little, “I should break out the single-tail.”
Spencer swallowed. He’d seen a few videos recently with single-tails. Those things were brutal. But then, he’d also winced at an evil stick not long ago, and now they just made him grumble, which Nick thought was hilarious. He could get used to a single-tail too.
“I’m game,” he said.
“Of course you are.” Nick grinned and ran his fingers over Spencer’s hair just like he always did, except this time he let his fingertips continue down Spencer’s cheek. And stop there, resting against his jaw. “I don’t think I’ve come up with anything yet that you’re not game to try.”
Spencer laughed. “Maybe you’re not trying hard enough.”
“Oh. Oh! Is that what it is?” Shaking his head, Nick clicked his tongue. His hand repeated its gentle gesture, running over his hair and down the side of his face, and Nick held his gaze as he said, “Spencer, my dear boy, what ever am I going to do with you?”
“Probably beat the hell out of me, and then fuck me?”
Nick bit his lip and shivered. “Oh, yeah. I definitely will.”
“Promise?” Were they getting closer together?
“Absolutely.” They were getting closer together.
“Too bad you don’t have the single-tail tonight.” Fuck.
Way closer. What . . .
“We’ll make do just fine without it.”
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Nick pressed his lips to Spencer’s. Every nerve ending in Spencer’s body lit up with the sudden rush of electricity.
Nick had never kissed him before. Ever. And it was amazing.
Spectacular.
Just like he did everything else, Nick assumed control of the kiss and guided Spencer’s mouth into motion. His smooth chin grazed Spencer’s, and he knew just how to tease Spencer’s lips apart. Goose bumps covered Spencer’s skin, his whole body tuning in to that kiss, focusing on it, surrendering to it completely.
At the other end of some undefined expanse of time, they separated, pul ing apart almost as slowly as they’d come together.
Spencer opened his eyes. Then Nick did.
And a split second later, Nick sucked in a breath and jerked away. “Oh. Shit. ”
“What?” Spencer put up a hand. “What’s—”
“Fucking hell.” Nick sat up. He turned away from Spencer and swung his legs over the edge of the bed. “God, Spencer, I’m sorry, that—”
“What? I don’t understand.” Spencer sat up and closed some distance between them. “What the hell is wrong?”