After that encounter, I watch Livi with her father’s doctors, filling out paperwork. I hear talk of living wills, DNR’s, possible rehab centers, adult home care nurses, and my head begins spinning. I see strength in her, and I see intelligence. I see the sexiest woman wrapped in one package, and all I want is to watch her for days. I want to keep her safe, warm, fed, and under me.
Once we are back in her father’s room, she explains to him everything going on. He looks at her like I am—in fucking awe—but there is also sadness in his eyes, one I can imagine is based on regret. I never want that look mirrored in my eyes, not with her, not with our children.
I feel like the wind is knocked out of me. I feel like I just woke up from hell and have seen an angel. I am in a fucking hospital, a place I despise, and I am struck with this feeling.
“Are you ready?”
“Sure thing,” I say, avoiding eye contact. I don’t want her to see me weak like this, and this is a fucking weakness that I will conquer in a way a man should.
“Hendrix,” her father croaks. “Minute alone?”
Livi looks at me and I nod. “I’ll be out in a minute, babe.”
When she leaves, I walk up to his bedside.
“Thank you.”
“No, man, no thanks needed. She’s fucking amazing.”
He closes his eyes. “You love her?”
“She’ll be the first to hear those words from me, not you.” I kind of smirk, ‘cause I know it’s a douchie thing to say to a sick man.
“Show her.”
“Every day. Look, we’ll be back later. I’m sure she’s tired.”
He nods and closes his eyes. “I love her. Her mom, better than me.”
After that short talk, I join Livi in the hall, and we walk out of the hospital where the sun is still shining. She looks tired, yet so fucking beautiful. I reach behind her and rub her ass.
“What do they say today?”
She smiles and shrugs. “‘Stronger than most.’”
“You sure are. Fuck.” I can’t take it. I stop beside the car, turn her around, and lift her chin. “Liv, I am a simple man. I work hard, play harder, and never in my life did I expect to be knocking boots in a closet with a sexy, little chick and a month later be ready to say this, but I am. You deserve to have a man by your side who thinks the world tipped when he realized you are not just in his world, but you are the best part of it. You, Olivia Hemmingway, are the best part of my life, and I am so fucking in love with you. I. Love. You.”
She doesn’t say shit, making me feel so fucking raw.
“Say something, Livi.” I am begging now.
“I got my period today.” Her frown deepens. “So you don’t have to—”
“Don’t have to? Like it’s a fucking choice. Livi, this is not about that and never has been.”
“Never?” She looks at me like I’m crazy.
“No. I will tell you that I am glad you have it. I mean, not right now, ‘cause I want to be buried deep inside you, but I need time to convince you it’s okay to love me. Fuck, I’ll force it if I have to. I am—”
Chapter Twenty
Olivia
Hearing him say the words, I don’t think; I only react. I grab him and pull him to me, kissing him with every emotion I can find. When I pull away, we are both panting and in need.
I laugh, causing me to snort as he watches me with confusion written in his features.
“Umm … you okay, Livi? I know you’re fuckin’ crazy, but laughing after I tell you how I feel is a blow to a man’s ego, babe.”
“Hendrix Caldwell, you make me stronger than most. You bring out the best in me and push me to do more for myself. I know we haven’t known each other long, but I feel connected to you. You make me a better me. I love you, Broody.” I laugh again, thinking how far we have come in such a short time. Then the snort slips out as his hands come around my waist, pulling me closer before he kisses me.
A car honking has us pulling away and both smiling at each other. For the first time in my life, I feel complete. I feel happy. I feel whole and not broken. In one of the worst of times, Hendrix found a way to make it the best.
He loves me. I mentally pluck the petals from my invisible flower. He loves me. Heck yes!
I imagine my fist pump and booty shake as I smile up at the man I love before I climb into the car so we can go to the hotel.
I doze a little as we drive. The stress of everything is exhausting. My dad is divorced. My step-monster didn’t believe Bryce. And Bryce … is sorry. Forgiveness isn’t forgetting, I once read. Forgiveness is letting go of the emotions holding you back. Bryce being abused himself doesn’t justify his actions. Hendrix is right, though; no means no. In healing, I have to let go.
There is always a fear in letting go, a fear of falling. I am not afraid, though. Hendrix will hold me, comfort me, and challenge me. He will be there just like he was today to let me face anything I need to with him at my back. For the first time in my life, I don’t feel alone. I feel like I have a real partner.
When we get back to the hotel room, Hendrix is quiet as he leads me into our room. I know he has to be tired with the traveling and time zone change. A nap would definitely be okay in my book, as well.
Taking off my shoes, I start to move to the bed. Looking over at Hendrix as he does the same, I smile.