I grab his arm. “It’s okay, Cooper. It’s not your fault.”
“It’s absolutely my fault,” he replies, marching ahead of me.
“No, it’s mine. I’m pushing you. Putting myself in situations that aren’t easy to control. I know the risks. It just makes me sad. Not being able to go back there.”
“All our stuff is there.”
“I have a lot of new shoes in the car,” I tease. “You can borrow some.”
“Not funny,” he says with a little chuckle as we get in the car. “Why don’t you let me plan what’s next.”
“Okay, what are you thinking?”
“I’m going to check us all into a hotel. You can sneak in and I’ll go get Aiden and Peyton. Where do you want to stay?”
“Let me call my travel concierge and have her find us a suite.”
A few minutes later, I say, “We’re all set up at the Four Seasons. They have a three-bedroom suite that will be perfect for all of us. I’m going to have you drop me off a block from the hotel. I tweaked your plan a little and made myself an appointment at the spa. While I’m there, you go get Peyton and Aiden. Since it’s close, you can just walk over, double check they’re not being followed, and get them settled. Then you can text me and take me straight up to the room. Does that sound okay?”
“Yes, that sounds fine. I’m sorry I snapped at you earlier.”
“It’s okay, Cooper. It’s been a pretty crazy day. Maybe I’ll send you down for a massage once we’re all settled.”
“Now that sounds like the best idea you’ve had in a while.”
Start with me.
9pm
Aiden says flatly, “You went a little crazy shopping today.”
I look at my purchases littered across the bedroom floor. “Yeah, I did. I was supposed to be celebrating, having a great day.”
“Did you have a great day? I mean, before we had to move.”
“Shopping was fun—well, parts of it—but I was sort of going through the motions.”
“That's because you're trying to live a pretend life. There's no joy in it.”
He takes the garment bag out of my arms and unzips it to take a look. “Another rainy day dress?”
“Um, no. I'm going to a gala Saturday night.”
“With Knox? “
“Yes.”
Aiden pushes his hand roughly through his hair. “I don't understand this. Remind me again why it’s okay for you to be seen with Knox but not me? I’m okay with the danger too.”
“I know you are,” I say quietly.
“Tell me why,” Aiden says adamantly. I can tell he’s pissed.
“Because with Vincent I'm not that good of an actress.”
“What do you mean?”
“He followed me for months, Aiden. In that time, I hung out and partied with a ton of guys, the main ones being Sander, Cush, Damian, Troy, and Brooklyn. Vincent took photos of me and Cush together. He saw us at soccer, at the club, at the boardwalk, and at a party. I think I even told him I was in love with Cush.”
“But I thought you loved Brooklyn?”
“I did. And Vincent knew it even though I didn’t. He’s always focused on B.”
“What's that got to do with me?”
“There's no way I could hide my feelings for you. Damian says when I'm with you love is written all over my face. If Vincent were to see us together, you'd become target number one.”
“I don’t care. We’d be together. I could help keep you safe.”
“Aiden,” I choke out, my eyes filling with tears at the thought of Vincent discovering him. “Please, no.”
“So, if you stop seeing Knox publicly, I should worry you've fallen in love with him?” he says, trying to joke about it but failing. I can see the jealously raging behind his eyes. I hate that I’m putting him through this.
“I hate this as much as you do, Aiden. I know you don’t understand. I don’t even really understand. But it’s in my gut. It’s something I’m being driven to do. I don’t have a choice.”
“You always have a choice about how to live your life.”
“I agree wholeheartedly. My situation is just different right now. Vincent and I have been on this path for a while. I can’t avoid the collision. It’s just a question of when and where it will happen.”
He walks across the room and reaches into the small bag he brought with him from the loft and pulls out something I cherish.
“Here,” he says, handing me my book of Keats poetry. “I knew you’d want this.”
I hold it in my hand, staring at it. Thinking about what it means to me. All the feelings I have wrapped up in the pages of an old book. I gently open it, read B’s inscription and then turn to the center of the book to see that, thankfully, Aiden’s lucky four-leaf clover is still pressed inside.
I cover my mouth, trying to stop myself from crying, but I can’t. I just mutter out, “Thank you.”
Aiden pulls me into his arms for the first time since I arrived. I know he’s mad at me but, even mad, he still did something so incredibly thoughtful. I lay my head on his shoulder and just breathe him in.
“What did you have done at the spa?” he asks.