“I don’t think Gabriel would give you up just to keep his job. He doesn’t need the money, and he can always work somewhere else. What I don’t understand is why he wasn’t more explicit about what he was doing. Why didn’t he grab you afterward and say I love you but we need to wait.” Rachel giggled drunkenly. “Knowing Gabriel, he would have recited something in iambic pentameter just because he could.”
“He mentioned something about Peter Abelard, but it wasn’t comforting. Abelard kept his relationship with Héloise secret so he wouldn’t lose his teaching position. Then he sent her to a convent.”
Rachel reached over to pick up a pillow and threw it at her friend’s head. “He isn’t going to send you to a convent. He loves you. And I refuse to believe otherwise.”
Julia clutched the pillow to her chest as she reclined on her side. “If he loved me, he wouldn’t leave me. He wouldn’t have broken up with me via email.”
“Do you really think that Gabriel was stringing you along for fun?”
“No. But that doesn’t matter now.”
Rachel yawned loudly. “Whatever he did, he screwed up. I’m wondering if he isn’t trying to protect you in some way.”
“He could have texted me and said just that.”
Rachel threw an arm over her eyes. “That’s the part I don’t understand. He could have asked us to give you a message. He could have written you a letter. Why didn’t Gabriel tell the university to shove it?”
Julia rolled onto her back, asking herself a similar question.
Rachel retrieved her cell phone from the coffee table. “Do you want to call him?”
“No.”
“Why not? Maybe he’ll answer, thinking it’s me.”
“It’s the middle of the night and I’m drunk. It’s not exactly the best time to have a conversation. Plus, he told me not to contact him.”
Rachel shook the phone in front of her. “If you’re hurting, so is he.”
“I left him a message saying that if he ever wants to talk to me, he needs to do it face to face. I’m not calling him again.” Julia downed the last of her wine in one swallow.
“Maybe he’ll be at graduation.” Julia sighed, a wistful look on her face. All her anger and frustration hadn’t eliminated her longing for him. At least, not all of it.
“When’s graduation?”
“June eleventh.”
Rachel swore obliquely at the lateness of the date.
After a few minutes of shared silence, Julia decided to voice one of her other, greater fears.
“Rachel?”
“Uh huh?”
“What if he sleeps with her?”
Rachel was quiet for a moment. So quiet, Julia began to repeat the question, but her friend interrupted. “If Gabriel were cruel, then maybe he’d screw someone else. But I can’t imagine him doing that and thinking that you’d forgive him.”
“If he’s with someone else and you find out about it, tell me.” Julia gave her friend a pleading look. “It would be better to hear it from you.”
* * *
“Darling, open your eyes.”
His voice was warm and thick as he moved inside her, distributing his weight to his forearms. He leaned down to draw the delicate skin from the inside of her bicep into his mouth, kissing and sucking on it. It was just enough to tease her and perhaps to leave a gentle mark. He knew this drove her mad.
“I can’t,” she gasped, in between moans. Every time he moved it sent the most wonderful sensations coursing through her body.
Until he stopped.
Suddenly, her eyelids fluttered open.
He rubbed his nose against hers and smiled. “I need to see you.” His gaze was gentle but intense, as if he were holding back the flame of desire momentarily.
“It’s hard for me to keep my eyes open.” She groaned a little as he moved inside her once again.
“Try for me.” He kissed her softly. “I love you so much.”
“Then why did you leave me?”
Gabriel looked down on her with dismay, his blue eyes narrowing. “I didn’t…”
* * *
That same evening Gabriel was lying in the center of the bed, eyes closed, while she trailed leisurely open-mouthed kisses across his pectorals, pausing reverently to kiss his tattoo, before extending her attentions to his abdominals. An oath left his mouth as she ran her fingers lightly up and down the well-defined muscles before swirling a tongue around his navel.
It has been so long…
That was the thought that came to mind as she gently traced the skin and strands of hair before reaching a hand down to grasp him firmly. He shifted his hips. She was stroking him now, and he was panting, begging. She teased him unhurriedly as her long, silky hair caressed the tops of his thighs, before taking him into the warm wetness of her mouth.
Gabriel muttered a surprised expletive as he gave himself over to the sensations, before weaving his fingers into her hair.
He froze.
A sick feeling bubbled up in his stomach as he remembered what happened the last time he’d done this. He withdrew his hand immediately, worried that he’d frightened her.
“I’m sorry.” He extended a single finger to trace her cheek. “I forgot.”
A cold hand caught him by the wrist before forcing him to grasp her head roughly.
“What did you forget?” she taunted. “How to enjoy a blow job?”