I repeated the events of the evening while stripping down for a shower. It was odd speaking to Kale as if nothing had changed between us when in fact everything had. It was tough.
Since the night he had violated me and tried to kill me, I’d struggled to accept that the friend he had been was dead to me now. The promise he had made echoed in my mind as we talked. Kale had declared his intent to force me to release him by driving a stake through his heart. He intended for me to put him out of his misery.
“You’re strong. You’ll play the heroine and save Shaz. No worries.”
I laughed bitterly, examining the bruises marring my naked flesh in the mirror. “Right, no worries.”
“It’s what you do though, isn’t it? You put yourself in danger to save those you love.” Something in his voice, a crack of emotion, told me he wasn’t just talking about Shaz.
The sound of girlish giggles echoed from beyond the door, followed by Jez’s sarcastic tone. Blood was about to be spilled in the living room, and I was hiding out in the washroom. Pitiful.
“Kale, I’m sorry about what happened with the FPA. I went in there for you, twice, and I failed. It’s because of me that they drove you so crazy.” Slowly I dragged a brush through my tangled hair. I waited nervously for his response.
“They didn’t drive me crazy, Alexa. Somebody else did that long ago. Your blood opened a door I’d thought was closed forever. The FPA just made me feel ok with it again.” He was flippant, speaking like it was no big deal. Shit happens.
I set the phone down and put it on speaker. Needing to feel normal, I washed the remnants of smeared makeup from my face. “You sound fine right now. Like the Kale I first met.”
“That’s because there’s fourteen hundred miles between us.”
Very unnerving. I stared at the phone, glad I couldn’t peer into his mismatched eyes. “Is that what it takes for you to talk to me without wanting to kill me?” I blurted the question, knowing I shouldn’t be asking it.
His silence frightened me. I was tempted to hang up, however, that would only postpone this conversation for a face-to-face encounter. “You don’t want to know what it takes.” The devious chuckle that followed sent a shiver down my spine. His voice dropped even lower when he said, “If only it was as simple as merely wanting to kill you.”
He would lose his grip on the precarious scrap of sanity that somehow kept him from being a ravenous, unstoppable killing machine. That day would come. I knew it in every part of me, and selfishly, I prayed I wouldn’t be around to see it.
“And here I thought you called because you cared,” I said, using snide derision to cover up my hurt.
“Oh, but I do care. In fact, I care so much for you, Alexa, that I dusted a vampire to defend your baby sister’s honor when she passed through looking for you.”
That raised a red flag. A lump formed in my throat, and I swallowed hard. “Don’t touch my sister, Kale. I know you want to get to me and make me take you out, but that is not the way to do it.” As much as I tried to stay calm, I was sure he could hear the panic in my voice. I wasn’t sure how much more I could take. Vampires were going to be my undoing. Sometimes all I wanted was to go back to the days of just being wolf. The days when I hunted vampires, before I knew I would be one of them.
“I’m hurt that you would immediately jump to such a conclusion,” he said with feigned emotion. Like flipping a switch, his tone changed, becoming serious and sobered. “I said I’d make you crazy. I never said I would break your heart.” His words were like a dagger, sharp and slicing deep. I never knew what to expect from him anymore. Such a declaration wasn’t it.
I opened my mouth to say something, anything, to maybe apologize or plead my case. I didn’t know. He never gave me the chance.
“I’m glad you made it through the night in one piece,” he continued. “You sound tired. Go get some rest.”
He hung up, saving me from having to form words. It was starting to grow harder to recall when we last had a normal conversation. One of these days, I would let myself mourn the loss of what had never been and never could be. Maybe.
A shriek rang out, quickly silenced by a hungry vampire. A tremor rocked me. The tantric pull of incubus energy caused me to break out in goose bumps. I turned on the shower, ignoring the urge to go out there and throw myself into the sex-charged bloodletting.
The hot spray felt heavenly. Shoving all thought aside, I washed my hair and scrubbed my skin clean. More than once, emotion threatened to overwhelm me. I crammed it back down to the depths it had risen from. I stood in the steamy water long after I’d finished washing up. I wasn’t ready to get out and face reality yet.