“Lia called me. She was worried about you. She had already checked to see if you took your car keys so I knew you were on foot.” Pointing toward the front of the bar, he adds, “Since there are nothing but restaurants and stores here, I took a wild guess you’d be in the first bar you happened along.”
I’m surprised Lia called him but as I think back, I realize she and I have never really had a fight. We’ve had disagreements, like most people, but I can’t recall either of us slamming out of the apartment. Even as upset as I am, I feel guilty. She’s been through so much, and I know she doesn’t need this added stress on top of everything else. While there are plenty of men who might panic at the thought of an unplanned pregnancy, she has no idea that it’s my biggest trigger. I take another drink of my bourbon before saying, “I’m fine, Sam. You can go on home. I won’t be here much longer.”
I can literally see him settling onto his barstool. “I don’t have anywhere else to be, so I’ll just keep you company.” At least ten minutes pass as I continue to drink and brood while he pretends to watch the football game on the bar television.
I surprise myself when I blurt out, “Lia might be pregnant.” I see him freeze in the act of lifting his glass just for a split second before he resumes the movement.
“I see.” He doesn’t say anything else as if waiting for me to continue.
“She hasn’t been taking her pills since her attack. She didn’t realize it until Dr. Kay mentioned it this morning.”
Sam nods, looking far calmer than I feel. “That’s perfectly understandable, Luc. She has been dealing with a lot.”
I nervously shred a napkin with my fingers as I stare into my drink. “I know that, and I’m not blaming her. It just…threw me. I shouldn’t have been so damn careless. I mean, how many times do I need to learn that lesson?”
“Lia isn’t Cassie, and you don’t even know that she is pregnant, do you?”
I find myself glaring at one of the few people in my life who I love. I’m not in the mood to be soothed; I want to drink and forget. “Don’t you think that I, of all people, know the difference between Lia and Cassie?”
“Do you?” he throws back immediately, causing me to surge to my feet unsteadily. “Sit down!” he snaps, and I’m so surprised by the command in his tone that I obey instantly. He turns sideways on his bench to face me fully. “Luc, you’re like a son to me and I love you. You’re a rich, successful man with more drive and ambition than anyone I’ve ever known. You’ve bottled up every ounce of rage inside you and used it to succeed beyond anyone’s wildest dreams. You keep women in a neat corner of your life and never allow yourself to feel anything for them.”
“There’s a woman living with me right now, Sam, and she doesn’t fit into any ‘neat corner of my life,’ trust me on that.” I say, hoping he’ll stop talking. He’s forcing me to think, and that’s the last thing I want to do tonight.
“She may not fit in a neat corner, but she fits with you perfectly. She loves you, Luc, and not just for what you can give her. That girl has been to Hell and back just as you have. Unlike Cassie, it has only made her stronger. She is your match in every way, and I think you know that.”
My gut clenches as I say the truth, which haunts me. “I can’t lose anyone else I love. I won’t survive it.”
“Something can happen to any of us at any time. There are no guarantees in life, son. I wish there were. What I do know is that Lia loves you and you love her, as well. You can deny it to yourself all you want, but it’s been plain to everyone else almost from the beginning. You’ve never let another woman this close to you, even Cassie, if we’re being honest.”
“After all that has happened to Lia, the thought of her being pregnant fucking terrifies me,” I tell him. “It caused something inside of Cassie to snap. What if the same thing happens to Lia? You know they come from similar pasts.”
“Maybe they do,” Sam admits, “but that’s all they have in common. Cassie was always different. I’ve never seen someone’s mood alter as fast as hers could, and she thrived on causing conflict between you and Aidan. Cassie wasn’t happy unless someone around her was unhappy, which was usually Aidan.”