I step into the walk-in closet which now contains all of my clothing, thanks to Lucian sending Sam to pick it up, and look through the hangers until I find a maxi-dress that flows to my ankles. I add a scarf and black cardigan to hide the worst of my remaining bruises and slip my feet into a pair of black ballet flats. In the bathroom, I take the ponytail holder from my hair, letting it fall around my shoulders. I quickly brush it and add some lip-gloss. There is no use in adding further makeup with the ugly bandage on my nose. Lucian’s aunt has said I should be able to remove it soon. I have an appointment with Lucian’s personal physician next week.
He walks into the bathroom, looking gorgeous in a pair of dark jeans and a black button-down shirt. “Ready?” he asks before pulling me into his arms and holding me against his muscular chest. He has no idea how much I need what he is giving me right now. He has treated me more like his sister since we’ve been home until today. Feeling his arms around me for more than just a brief hug is Heaven. I know he has been afraid of hurting me, but I’ve missed this between us. He has taken to holding my hand at night when we go to sleep, and I wake almost every morning to find him already gone from the bed. I am starting to realize now that maybe he has just been trying to follow my lead. I’ve given him little reason to believe I want more from him, that I need more from him than ever before. While I’ve been trying to deal with the mess in my head, I’ve pushed him away. I know in my very bones that I couldn’t make it through all that has happened to me without him, and it’s time I tried to let him see that. I know I can’t bounce back to normal overnight, but he needs to know I need him.
I draw back slightly and he automatically loosens his hold, thinking I’m pulling away. Instead, I go up onto my tiptoes and press my lips to his. His arms tighten, and he groans. The kiss is gentle and I pour all the love I feel for him into it. When our lips finally part, he lays his forehead against mine. “I’ve missed you,” I admit, trying to convey so much into so few words.
He looks into my eyes as if he can see directly into my soul before saying, “I’m here, baby. I never left. I’m right here waiting for you whenever you’re ready to come back to me.”
Then it happens. The words flow from my mouth and my heart before I can stop them. “Oh, Luc, I love you.” His eyes widen and I feel him catch his breath. Even as the words hover in the air between us, I don’t regret them. The need to tell him how I feel has been choking me. The thing that surprises me the most about the moment, though, is that he hasn’t pulled away. He is still looking at me, as if trying to gauge the truth behind my words. I wordlessly cup the side of his face in my hand, letting him know it’s okay that he can’t say the words back. When I began to pull away, thinking it will be easier for him if I do, he tightens his hold on me before moving his hands from my back and curving them around my neck, holding me immobile.
“I want to give that to you, baby, I really do.” Looking tormented, he says raggedly, “I lose the people I love, though, and I…God, I can’t lose you, too.”
“Luc,” I whisper brokenly as I choke back a sob. “You won’t lose me,” I try to reassure him. It’s obvious from the rigid set of his jaw and the shadows in his eyes that my attack has been harder on him than I imagined. Even though I was the one hurt physically, we both bear the scars of the last few weeks. I turn my head and kiss the side of his arm. “I’m not going anywhere. I’m right here.”
He shudders, seeming as emotionally invested in our conversation as I am. “Just give me time, Lia, and know that when I can say the words again, it will be you and only you who will hear them. I’m not going anywhere, either. I’m committed to you.” We kiss tenderly for a few moments before he finally releases my neck and takes my hand. My stomach growls loudly in the quiet room, making it impossible to miss. Lucian smirks at me, raising both of our hands to kiss my fingers. “Let’s find my girl some food,” he teases, looking so impossibly relaxed and handsome. I feel a twinge of desire inside which takes me by surprise. I was afraid I would never enjoy that simple pleasure again, but I should have known that no amount of ugliness could ever take away my body’s reaction to him. I didn’t truly start living until I met him, and my heart and body will always respond when he is near because he owns them both.
Chapter Eight
Lucian
I walk down the familiar streets of my neighborhood feeling lighter than I have since before Lia’s attack. Just doing something so normal feels better than I could have imagined. Lia is tucked under my arm while I twirl a strand of her blonde hair around my finger. I could tell earlier when she suggested having dinner out tonight that she regretted it almost as soon as she spoke the words. She has shown no interest in leaving the apartment since we arrived home from the hospital. She’s spent the majority of her time either in the bed, or curled up on the couch pretending to watch television while she actually stares off into space.