Chapter 18
I awoke the next morning, and I was alone. I got up and headed to the bathroom when I heard yelling coming from downstairs. I stepped a little closer to the top of the step when I heard Connor’s raised voice. “That’s too bad Ashlyn; I have to go out-of-town for a few days on business. No, I cannot, I don’t have time. Don’t you dare come over here; I’m leaving. I’ll call you as soon as I get back. I know it’s been a while, but I can’t help that; I’ve been busy. No, she has nothing to do with it, I’ve been working. Ashlyn, I promise we’ll get together as soon as I get back. I’m going to send an envelope over with Denny; I’ll talk to you soon.”
My stomach felt sick, and my heart ached after I heard that conversation. I leaned my head against the wall and felt the sting of tears fill my eyes. My inner voice started to yell, “Stop it Elle, just stop it, he’s your friend. You knew from the beginning it could never be more than friendship. You knew what you were getting into, and I warned you.” I looked up at the ceiling to stop the tears from falling.
I heard footsteps coming up the stairs, so I ran into the bathroom and started the shower. There was a knock at the door.
“Elle, make sure the water isn’t too hot,” Connor said.
“No worries, it’s not.”
I stood in the shower and let the warm water fall on me. I was going to have to put an end or distance to this friendship when I got back from Michigan. I silently cried as I buried my face in the water, drowning my sorrows. I turned the shower off and stepped out; I wrapped a towel around me and noticed I didn’t bring any clothes except my night-shirt that was lying on the floor wet. I opened the door and jumped when I saw Connor leaning against the wall across from where I was standing.
“Shit, you f*cking scared me Connor.” Not to mention the fact that I was half-naked in front of him and the towel was barely covering my ass.
He looked at me with a hunger in his eyes as he blushed. “I’m sorry; I just wanted to make sure you didn’t take too hot of a shower. I didn’t want you getting dizzy and passing out again. You do have a habit of not listening to anybody.”
I rolled my eyes and headed to the bedroom, “Ouch.”
“See, I told you not to roll your eyes at me, and you didn’t listen.”
I smiled as I shut the door and got dressed. When I came out he was downstairs in the kitchen. He set a cup of coffee on the counter and a plate with scrambled eggs, bacon, toast and potatoes. “Did you make all this?”
“I sure did, you sound surprised?”
I took a bite of the eggs, “To be honest I am, I didn’t think you knew how to cook.”
He sat down next to me at the island and started eating. “How hard is it to cook eggs? Plus I can cook a little,” he smiled.
I wanted to bring up the conversation I heard earlier, but we were heading out in a while, and I didn’t want to upset him.
“So, did I harm you in any way last night?” I asked.
He looked at me and frowned. “No, in fact, you put your arms around me, started rubbing my chest and calling me Peyton, I was quite turned on.”
My mouth dropped until he smiled and I knew he was joking. I went to smack him as he laughed and grabbed my wrists, holding them rubbing my scars and looking straight into my eyes. The atmosphere was no longer playful as it turned serious.
“My scars really bug you don’t they?”
He let go of my hands and stood up, taking his plate to the dishwasher, “They sadden me, that’s all.”
“Why Connor, I didn’t even know you when this happened. Why would my scars sadden you so much?”
He kept his back turned to me, “It saddens me that someone could think so little of their life to want to do such a thing.”
That comment hurt me deep down to my core, and I wanted to break down and cry. He stood staring out the window with his hands on the counter.
“I told you why I did it, and it wasn’t because I thought so little of my life. I did it to lessen the pain for my father, and how dare you Connor Black.”
Too late, the tears started falling; I left the kitchen. He came after me and grabbed me pulling me into him as he held me.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it, I swear I didn’t. I just get sad when I see them because it reminds me of what you went through.” His voice was sincere, and I could tell he regretted saying what he did.
I looked up at him, “It’s ok, let’s just forget about it and head out.”
He gently wiped my tears and put his forehead on mine, “I’m an insensitive bastard.” He sounded wounded and broken. Those words were from pain, and I wanted to know what happened in his life to make him this way.
I put my hand on his firm chest, “You’re in luck; I am quite fond of insensitive bastards.”
He smiled and kissed me on the head, “Let’s go.”
We took the elevator to the garage and set out on our road trip to Michigan.
The Range Rover was comfortable and I had an easy time settling in my seat with my iPod in hand. I looked over at Connor; his seat was slightly leaned back. He had one hand on the steering wheel, and his other arm was resting on the console in the middle. The way he drove was sexy, and I could not help staring at him. Everything this man did was sexy even when he tried to control me.
He looked over at me. “Why are you staring at me?”
“I was just wondering about Connor Black, that’s all.”
He sighed and looked back at the road. I looked out the window and put my headphones in. I pressed play and started singing as we merged on the U S 1-9. Connor tapped me on the arm. I took out my headphones and looked at him.
“Are you going to ignore me the whole way there?” He asked.
“Are you going to tell me a little bit about Connor Black?” I smiled in a cocky way.
He sighed and shook his head. I could tell I was pissing him off, so I put my headphones back in. He yanked the headphone out of my ear, “Hey, what the hell Connor?”
He laughed, “Take those things out you stubborn girl and I’ll talk.”
I knew I’d win; I always do, but if it got to be too much for him, I would tell him to stop.
“My sister’s name is Cassidy, and I had a twin brother Collin.”
I gasped as my eyes widened, “How the hell could you not tell me you were a twin?”
He sighed and took a hold of my hand, “Are you going to ask a million questions or are you going to let me finish?”
I twisted my face contemplating what to say, “Ok, I promise not to ask any questions at all, go ahead.”
“Are you sure?” He seriously asked.
I shook my head and made the zip my lip motion across my mouth. He smiled and continued; “Collin died when he was 7 years old from a virus that attacked his heart.” I swallowed hard. I wanted to throw my arms around him and comfort him because I knew how hard this was for him to tell me.
“My mom and dad had a hard time with his death and their way of dealing with it was to get pregnant with my sister. When Cassidy was eighteen, she got pregnant from some guy who tossed her to the side when he found out. You asked me why my company is involved with the autism charity; it is because my sister’s 5 year old son, my nephew is autistic.”
I put my hand on his leg, “I’m sorry Connor, you don’t have to say anymore.”
My sympathy ran deep for him, and my stomach was in knots for behaving the way I did and forcing him to tell me about his family.
He put his hand on top of mine and glanced at me, “It’s ok; I want to tell you.”
“My father built Black Enterprises from the ground up and started grooming me when I was around thirteen. I worked hard, learned fast, went to Harvard and 2 years ago he retired. He handed over his company to me, and in those 2 years I doubled the company’s profits. So now you know about my family.”
“What about past relationships?”
I knew that was crossing the line with him, but I was hoping he would feel comfortable enough to tell me since he was telling me about his family.
He pressed his lips together and took in a deep breath, “I do not talk about my past relationships, there’s no point, what’s past is past and why revisit it. I don’t have a girlfriend, nor do I want one.”
His comment hurt deep down; just hearing him say he didn’t want a girlfriend was heartbreaking. It’s for the best though, because I could never be his girlfriend and he could never be my boyfriend. I figure if I keep telling myself that, I’d actually convince myself.
“Why not, even if you’ve been hurt before, you pick yourself up and move on. Everyone’s been hurt at least once in their life, some more than others, but you have to make a choice what to do with that hurt.” I sounded way too casual about that, and who was I to talk anyway.
“It’s not that simple Ellery, trust me.”
“So, you don’t ever want to get married or have children and do the whole perfect family thing?”
He looked at me with such seriousness it startled me, “No, I never want any of that and to quote you, nothing lasts forever.”
I could just kick myself for saying that to him. It was true, but I did not mean to live a life of loneliness and misery.
“You really need to stop quoting that Connor, I think you took it the wrong way.”
“Regardless of which way I took it, I mean it, I already told you that I do not do relationships, and I mean that.”
I looked out the window, “I know.”
I was starting to regret asking him to tell me about himself. I think it was better if I didn’t know, maybe then I wouldn’t be hurting so much.