As soon as she got home Ella fell face down in her bed. She didn’t know what was worse, having Julie overhear what she said or that she was at Declan’s in the first place. The whole thing had seemed so strange. She hadn’t seen Evan anywhere so was Julie there by herself? Was she trying to get Declan back? Of course, she hadn’t really had him to start with, but they had been intimate for that one night. She knew firsthand that that wasn’t something a woman would ever forget.
For the first time, she felt insecure in their relationship. She wasn’t even sure if what they had been doing qualified as a real relationship, at least to him. They had sex and spent a lot of time together. But was it more than that to him? She didn’t really have any experience to fall back on to guide her. All she knew was that when she left Declan hadn’t followed her as she had half hoped he would. Julie was still there and she was home alone. When she had started this whole thing with him, she hadn’t really thought much about what would happen when it was over. Suddenly, she realized it could end at the drop of a hat. There might not be a long speech about how great it had been, it might just be over. Her mother was always telling her that she never looked at the big picture and maybe in this instance she was right.
Just as her pity party was well and truly under way, there was a brisk knock at her door. She stiffened and debated ignoring it. There could only be two possibilities at this time of the evening, her mother or Declan. She wasn’t sure she wanted to deal with either of them tonight but the knocking continued and she didn’t want her neighbors to start complaining. A quick look out her peephole showed the person she hoped was the lesser of the two evils. Taking a deep breath, she swung the door open and hoped that Declan wasn’t here to have that talk with her now.
When he pulled her gently into his arms with a husky “Ellie,” she let out the breath she had still been holding. He was embracing her so tightly that it bordered on pain, but she had no desire to stop him. She needed whatever she could get from him right now. Maybe she wasn’t handling this revelation as well as she had thought. Things were so new between them and now things were going to change, they had to. Declan had a son now and with that would come new demands on his time. Julie would also be in his life in some capacity now. Would what she had walked in on earlier become the norm? She had felt like an outsider and she hated that. She had no official place in Declan’s life, but Julie did. She was the mother of his child. How could she ever compete with that?
But she was distracted from her list of worries as Declan placed a series of kisses along her neck causing her to shiver. He pulled back to look at her. “You left so fast, I didn’t get a chance to talk to you. Are you . . . were you upset over Julie being at my apartment?”
Ella pulled back and tried to pretend a worldliness that she was far from feeling. She was a horrible liar and knew that her face always gave her away so she directed her gaze to the wall beyond his shoulder before answering. “You don’t have to explain anything to me. I know that Julie and Evan are in your life now, and it’s really none of my business. I shouldn’t have shown up without being invited.”
Declan turned her chin so she was facing him and could see the wary look on his face. “That’s a lot of bullshit you’re shoveling there, Ellie. I didn’t think we were in the habit of lying to each other. You’ve never censored yourself before so don’t bother to start now.”
He was right of course, she always blurted out what was on her mind. What was the worst that could happen? “Alright, you asked for it, remember that. Julie being there with you made me very uncomfortable. I felt like I didn’t belong even though we are sort of together now, aren’t we?”
Pulling her back into his arms, she felt his lips brush the top of her head. “Yes, baby, we are. I knew you felt that way; it was written all over your face before you bolted. Let’s have a seat and I’ll fill you in on one of the weirder hours of my life.”
When Declan finished telling her about Julie’s visit, she had to agree with him on the weird factor. “Isn’t Claire her friend? Wouldn’t you think she would call her if she was upset instead of you?”
“Yeah, you’d think. I don’t see it happening again though. I was pretty blunt with her after you left. I know it sounds bad considering the circumstances, but she’s a stranger to me. I was pissed off at being put in that position, especially since I knew you were upset over it.”